Ask Anjali - Recent questions and answers in Discussions

Answered: Marriages- The sex issues associated to it.

Mon, 13 May 2013 18:47:25 +0000

dear gautam,

Your point is correct that man has to get checked.i will suggest that if the boy and girl both have sexual relations before marriage they have to get themselves checked for STD'S and can also check about that both are healthy to give birth to baby.

But how can we check that the particular person can satisfy completely or make her orgasm as every other person sexual satisfaction is different and they can't be treated alike.

Now for this you can say that parents should allow them to had sex once before marriage if both get satisfied then they will get married otherwise not.

Answered: Sex and Erectile Dysfunction

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 21:32:29 +0000

Let me get this straight, your question is, when a couple cant perform (for age or whatever reason), how that affect the relationship and how they cope with the situation? Right?

I guess i have to bring my old logic once again for a quick recap. Man and woman when gets married, they commit "till death do us apart". In reality, the western vows are bullshit. Couple vows for not keeping that, for any reason suitable for one they dont mind getting a divorce. But if we look at BIPS (thats my favourite topic) maynot make a strong commitmentverbally, but we respect the family value, we try our best to keep a marriage last longer, above all, we want to grow old together. In other words, the ivorce rate is much less than other part of the world, we are ready to compromise better than others and we treat the value of family beyonf sex. It doesnot mean people wont try outside, still then, family comes first. A great sex or lousy sex still can keep a marriage, even both are suffering, still we want to grow old together selflessly. We may need some more time to be selfish and kick the other to get along with someone else, because we love with our heart, not with genital.

The man may have a lousy sex act, still iwfe is ready to compromise. The same with guys too, will take care of business in hand, but family comes first and second and thrd.

You dont have to agree with me, thats my opinion, the culture of BIPS is too old and we are able to carry on for 1000s of years. When Kamasutra was written in 3rd century BC, think about now cutured Europe, they were barbarian, the sex was disturbing, from animal to homosexual to incest, the social system was in shit. Only two places in the world was having the peace and foucs on sane sex and family value, Indian subcontinent and Mandarin culture. We havenot changed. We dont want to cahnge. We can accept one another's problem and stand still with our values.

Final thought, you gae an example, let me give an example. When I was a kid, there was a marriage in my neighborhood. 6 days befor ethe marriage when the groom was busy shopping, he had an accident and lost both the legs. H elost his job too as was in bed for long. The bride was a pretty lady at tender age. When everyone said the marrige should be called off, she stood alone and said marriage is made in heven, she will marry to this man. They got married, she completed her edcation with limited money, became a teacher. The guy got a job again, They never had children in life, but the love we could see among them, absolutely enviable. Everyday in the evening she would take him on the road in hweel chair and we used to give them way to move. She is now a Principal of a college, the marriage is as sweet as always. The lady sacrificed her life, probably her sex life just because she accepted its her destiny and she should be there with the man she chose. This is a true incident, can you give me one example like this? In US or Europe or Australia, they boast about money, can they bring forward love and peace before sex and money?

Money can give you confort, cannot give you peace or happyness. Thats why people in Bhutan care about happyness beyond anything in life.

Answered: What is the best way to give sex education to kids in India and how?

Sat, 23 Mar 2013 09:55:11 +0000

I usually try to avoid replying your question, the reason is, I am dumb.
From watching TV to how you jumped on sex education, I cant get that. If the question is on child's sex education, you can follow any way you want. The best way as followed by most is not to respond at all, let them learn on their own. We learnt that way.
Your question could have been solid if you said you leave your child alone, he/she surfs internet, how to be sure he/she is not going to wrong sits and learn wrong things. A kiss scene on TV, whats the heck?
That day watching Modern Family, suddenly my little boy said see a guy is kissing another guy, isn't that wrong? I said yes that's wrong, but would it be right if a girl was kissing a girl? He replied yes, that's wrong, a guy should kiss a girl. That ends the conversation, I don't have to explain everything to a 6 year old boy. I am not homophobic, but I dont want to confuse him now.
Asking about how baby is born, I never gave a birds and bee story, its always you were in my belly, you made me look really fat but beautiful, and that's why I love you so much. We spoke on unless the father was there, he would have been with God till now. So it takes a father and mother for a child to be born. Look at your classmates, everyone has a father and mother. That's all.
For kids all I learnt till now is, if you do reply to their question, they are happy. If you dont reply or ask the to shut up or grow then know, that always makes them more curious to find the reply from someone else. Coming with a wrong answer is bad too. Last week there was a Nat Geo show on baby in womb. Other than few parts which I felt is not right, we watched together. Sometimes I changed the channel to divert, but what I wanted was his attention on a baby in a womb, how it grows and develop, reply to some questions like how important a brain is, how gets the food etc.
I truly believe its the parents who can teach the best way possible, rather than telling lie or shut them up, its better we teach them. How a penis enters in a vagina, that's not my subject of discussion. By sex lesson, if you mean that, than you need to re-look at the whole thing in a new modern and truthful way. I believe every age has a particular syllebus we have to follow. The use of condom will come in due time, so would the gay marriage issue.
I might be wrong in my approach, but my husband and I decided this is the right approach. Even my man also joined to see the baby show. we were more curious on the shape of the baby, till which week a human embryo and pig embryo looks exactly the same.

Should we communicate or shouldn't we?

Sat, 16 Mar 2013 05:43:56 +0000

This is no new question, must have been asked in different ways and replied different ways. All answers are perfect because we are different people we have different views.

The question is, should we communicate or not? Communicate in the area of pre-marital sex, on everyday life, on fantasy, on fetish, on extra marital sex, if we do, till how much?

Communication is the key and that's the base of trust. But everyone is not open minded, some are aggressive, some are possessive. At the same time, we get married but we have our own private space. All boils down to the situation, acceptance, interference.

Discussion 9: Things that you will not tell your Spouse or partner?

Tue, 26 Feb 2013 14:55:43 +0000

Discussion 9: What are the things that you will not tell your Spouse or partner?

All of us at sometime in our married lives or during a marital relationship have pondered on this….should I tell my spouse or partner?

Many of us believe that one should begin on a clean slate by being open and frank, in order to begin a relationship. But there are some things that may destroy a relationship even before it begins.

Have you faced such a situation? How did you handle it?

Most of us have had a past relationship. Would you get emotional and tell your partner all about your past life? What if your partner reacts with jealousy and suspicion? Be sure that your present partner is going to bring up this topic at sometime in your life. And if for some reason you have shared the juicy details about the good times you have had with your Ex then expect cold vibes in future.

Early in a relationship, there are things that you may dislike in your partner. Would you criticize? Would you speak about the negative traits of people? Why would your partner be interested in knowing why you hate people they don’t even know? Complaining about other people on a first date gives a wrong image about you.

Would you talk about your in-laws? Would a man like if you told him that you want to live away from his parents? To a man, his parents are his world and vice versa. So sharing his son with another woman is bound to create some friction. Do you talk about this when you are courting each other?

Do you keep your personal problems to yourself? Or do you share these at the first instance itself? If these are personal problems, should they not remain personal? Would your partner feel that you are complaining?

Let us have your views.

Why/How eve - teasing has evolved?

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 09:56:40 +0000

Every female is aware with the word "EVE-TEASING" and sexual exploitation and humiliation, but in India, people really don't consider it as a crime. Eve teasing is referred to sexual harassment of women in public places such as streets, public transports , parks, beaches, and cinema halls. This type of a public harassment by a lone man or gangs of men/women includes verbal assaults such as making passes or unwelcomed sexual jokes; non-verbal assaults such as showing obscene gestures, winking, whistling, and staring; and physical assaults such as pinching, fondling and rubbing against women in public places .In addition, several instances of eve teasing have been followed by more violent assaults such as rape and murder.

What are the real reasons behind eve-teasing, how can someone dare so much to behave in such a dis-respectful manner with a female? Many guys find excuses like girls clothes or the way they behave. But there arises a question that, who is responsible for eve teasing? As a coin has two sides, even eve teasing has two sides of holding responsibility.

What do you think?

What if 'SHE' is taller?

Sat, 29 Dec 2012 05:10:57 +0000

Hello madam, moderators and members,

As we all know, average height of women is less than men. So there are possibly very few men who have their women taller than them.

In arranged marriages, if a girl has height an above average height, her parents would be more worried to find a good match, since we live in a world of men, who seem to dominate in every aspect. If a girl is 5'8", her partner should be 6' and so on. My case was the same. My parents and hers were looking for a taller match and equally worried till we met.

Even many girls advocate for such a partner who stands taller. So here are a few questions I would like to ask you as well as discuss.

How many men you know, have their partners taller than them or the other way round?

For single men and women, what about having a bride taller than you or (for women) a groom shorter than you?

What is your general thinking about it?

Any other thought in this regard are equally welcomed.

Thank you.

What do you reckon a Saree is?

Fri, 28 Dec 2012 03:43:08 +0000

In most parts of India saree is considered a traditional outfit for any married woman, either from urban or rual areas. Saree is a graceful outfit adding cute and attractive look to an individual. For beauty concerns the saree has its unique worth and contribution in women's pride. Is saree the most sexiest as well as elegant outfit and do you think it mainly depends on the way someone carries it?

Merry Christmas

Tue, 25 Dec 2012 02:00:29 +0000

Wishing the AA Staff and our beloved AA users a very Merry Christmas!

Please share how are you all going to celebrate this holly jolly holiday today?Thanks.

Obsession with masturbation!!!

Wed, 19 Dec 2012 11:37:41 +0000

Every day, we get bombarded with the same question over and over again!!!!

What is it with guys and masturbation?

It doesn't matter how many times this question is answered, within an hour or two, another guy will be saying the same thing in his question. It makes me wonder if guys can actually think before wasting everyone's time.

Is there any education at school regarding sex, and particularly masturbation, prevention of pregnancy, and prevention of the spread of STIs? The ignorance shown by some of our questioners would suggest that sex education is either non existent, or not fit for purpose in some parts of the world. But how do we make our readers actually read? I'm sure that a person of even mediocre iintelligence, when looking at the forum, can see the usual masturbation questions; so why do they not read the answers already given before repeating the same thing for the umpteenth time?

I suspect that a lot of guys just want to write about their wanking pleasures, and think the rest of the world wants to share it with them...... a kind of pseudo cyber flasher mentality?

Salma.