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How do I handle these 5 days?

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asked Mar 31, 2014 in Questions by Anuj87 (120 points)
edited Apr 1, 2014 by longhands1

Hello Anjali ji,

I am glad to see such a Site where satisfactory answers are given to the queries asked. I too am in a bad situation and need some help.

I am 27 years old guy from Patna. Currently I am doing my Masters and unmarried. I am an introvert type of person. I have never had contact with any girl except my family members. I come from a village and after my Matriculation, I came to Patna. There I lived with a person who was known to me. One night when I was sleeping he came to me and started playing with my penis. He told me to do the same with him. Since I feared and respected him, I did the same. Later he ejaculated on my back speaking vulgar things about my sister who was living in the same town. I did not ejaculate. Later I felt that I was abused. I could not tell this to anybody since I did not have any friend. I later learnt this pleasure and used to do it 2-3 times in a week. That time I felt very bad, and morally incorrect.

While masturbating I used to imagine one aunt living near my house in my village. I felt bad but I kept on doing and was always filled with guilt. This made me morally weak day by day. In my graduation year (2006) I started using internet. My roommate used to watch nude girls and read stories in the net. One day, I typed in google and found many such pictures. I was amazed seeing nude girls. While masturbating all the pictures came into my mind and I got much more pleasure along with the increased feeling of doing something wrong and cheating my parents. Since then I never discussed with anybody.

I used to read sex stories but it was hard to believe thar such relations occur. One day, I read one story of having sex with elder cousin sister. First time I masturbated reading the story & imagining my cousin sister. I never had such orgasm before. I was in heaven but soon I finished and was filled with guilt. I was ashamed. I went to the temple and prayed to God for helping me not to do it again. But I always failed in my resolve.

I practiced absistence many times and left it for 2-3 months. But I forget everything and restart. I have a younger cousin sister, and I discuss all things with her except my sex problem. I masturbate thinking about my cousin sister. I imagine I am in hotel with her and she is my girlfriend. I fuck her in all ways and she satisfies me.

This occurs periodically for 5 days in a month and rest is cool and calm. For these 5 days I forget everything and think only about sex. I do it 7-8 times in these 5 days Once the excitement is gone I become cool and am filled with guilt, and swear not to do again but the next time I do it again.

I still have not come in contact with any girl. Whenever I think of any other girl I do not get excited. In my mind,  I think, I am not a good, smart guy so girls do not look at me. I also do not want to marry. I also fear girls because in my college as every girl, has a boyfriend and many of them have had sex. I always underestimate everything in my life. I tried to talk to a few girls but they refused and made fun of me.

I have done all sorts of things like reading good books, quotes, motivation, doctors, temples, meditation  etc., but for those 5 days everything is in vain. I am a bad guy. Am I doing incest? I want to get rid of all these. What should I do to come out from this complex? Should I discuss this with my cousin sister (who is a doctor now)? These 5 days are hurdles. I can't accept sex in a normal way. I want to be calm free from sexual thoughts and sex as well. Any medication or meditation for this?

 

anuj,

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commented Apr 3, 2014 by xpktv2000 (3,295 points)
Find a prostitue and pump her hard too hard or else simply meditate and try controlling your sick mind



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4 Answers

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Unfortunately, a person who lived with you, now I do not know whether still you are living with him or not if you are living with him than you should stop him what he does to you as you feel it’s physically abused you. You respect him but he does not deserve your respect so be clear with him. It is not incest as you just think about your cousin sister and get excited; incest means sexually relation between close relatives. You are aroused by thinking of your sister it because she is the only girl with whom you interact. If you want to stop than self-control is a way. You should not disclose your fantasy to your sister as that would lead bitterness in your relationship, keep this thing is your mind and divert your mind in meaningful activities.

You do not get excited when you think about other girls it is because of you have no experienced of other girls and you think other girls do not like you so your fantasy is limited to your sister, she may be polite with your and understand you so your cousin sister is idle girl for you. Girls are not talking with you, which do not mean that you are bad or good, it is your apprehension and there is not fact behind it. I am sure you will find a perfect girl for you, right now just concentrate on your career, and let the time play its role.

If in your college other boys have, girlfriends it does not mean everyone should have. Look around, you will find many boys who do not have girlfriend and does not engaging in sexual act. You have been worrying for nothing you should go for marriage.

 
answered Mar 31, 2014 by alpesh kapdi (27,390 points)
commented Mar 31, 2014 by Anuj87 (120 points)
Thanks for your response. That girl is my own sister. The main problem is to control my sexual feeling. I try to engage myself into other works like social activities, reading, library, talking with my colleagues but once the time comes I can't get control. Is there any relieving technique without any bad thoughts?
0 like 0 dislike
hello,

i can understand your problem.since you come from conservative place and family things is quite difficult for you to understand. Masturbation is the act which brings pleasure to you and your needs it to calm itself.

masturbating thinking about your aunt is not a problem as she is lady and you being boy get attracted to her . i feel thinking sexual things about ur own sister as girl friend is wrong as she is your own blood. there are lots of girls around u whom u can imagine for. Even you can imagine some film actress or porn stars for your satisfaaction.


now coming to your problem. There is no solution for this ok. You are male and you will get attracted to girl and you will get sexually aroused by girls ok. Its natures law ok.


my suggestion is to accept it as it is. be free and enjoy. Those 5 days enjoy as much as you can. Masturbate , imagine things or do stuffs that pleases you and enjoy it ok. Instead of running from it just face it ok.

its also better to get married now i think. then u can enjoy with your wife . Or else talk to any lady friend about it and calm yourself.

according to me its better for u enjoy to those 5 days then trying to control yourself.

Enjoy your life

thankyou
riyasharma
answered Mar 31, 2014 by riyasharma147 (140 points)
0 like 0 dislike

Anuj,

Your writings tell us that you are a loser in Life. For a Guy who is persuing his Masters, you show absymal levels of willpower and confidence. You might as well be sitting at home, instead of wasting your time in Patna. Do not try to blame your family background. The challenge in Life is to conqure your past and move on.

What are you expecting from us? Pity? No one can help you, but yourself. Masturbation is now your Master and I am not willing to believe that you do it for only 5 days in a month. If you do, that would make you better than many of us! Dont have self pity. Have self belief. That will get you some where.

As long as you have fantasies, you will not get into any trouble. Let those stay in the recesses of your mind. All along you seem to be the martyr. Doing what others tell you to do. If you continue doing this, people and especially girls will use you as a doormat. But that I think is what you want.

We all think of sex. But most of us are not slaves to this habit. You have become a slave and masturbation is your master. As long as you pay obeisance to this master, it will continue ruling you. Have a back-bone. If the Inspirational Books you have been reading , have not been able to inspire you, how do you think we will? Grow up, Open your eyes and stop self-pitying yourself. 

answered Mar 31, 2014 by longhands1 (84,380 points)
edited Apr 1, 2014 by longhands1
0 like 0 dislike
Dear Anuj,

    Is it a menstrual cycle that comes periodically and finally lasts for 5 days. You are doing your best to overcome but you can't succeed. Which kind of cheating are you talking about. Why are you bad boy. The problem is not your habit of these 5 days. Problem is your thinking, your thoughts, your introvert nature. I can say you are no loyal to yourself.

     You are just imagining all this after that yiu masturbate, and when you sexually satisfied then you filled with guilt. But what's the problem in doing this. Its just a fantasy and keep it real andive your life. Even meditation, goid bookscan'g inspires you then how can be.

      If you really don't want to get married and thats because every girl in your college have girfriend then then why don't you have. You told you are ugly that shows your confidrnce level. Its very poor dude. THE BEAUTY OF PERSON ALWAYS LIES IN HEART NOT IN FACE my friend. Be confident.

    You don't do anything wrong. If you think about your cousion when you masturbate continue but in real life treat as her sister. No wrong in it. You already masturbate of thinking about her. What happens nothing because she doesn't know about this and she responds you normally. Ithink its morally wrong if you want to do it in reality.

     You are abused in your childhood and that guy talks about your sister. Its natural you feel bad but you can't do anything about this. This is a big hint to you that people have some fantasies. You are not alone. You can't change anyone fantasy. Or i think we shouldn't bother about anyone's fantasy untill they are going to cause any harm to us. This is a truth and we should accept this.

     Dude you think sex as a taboo. But it does not. In my early childhood i masturbate thinking about Aishwarya Rai and found very guilty and get confused that i am a bad boy or so. But after all thinkings i came to conclusion that it is good till its fantasy. Its morally wronf if i do it in reality without anyone's consent and cheating your parner. After this everything is fine.

      I think rhis kind of stage comes in every individuals life. Its your time and you are sort of confidence, i respect your moral views and loyality but they matter in real world my friend not in your fantasies. So be confident and enjiy your life.
answered Apr 6, 2014 by Manoj4u (6,185 points)
commented Apr 14, 2014 by Anuj87 (120 points)
Thanks for such positive answer @Manoj4u . I'll try to overcome this.

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