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Discussion 13: What are the qualities you would look for in a Lover? [closed]

1.8K views
asked Oct 28, 2013 in Discussions by longhands1 (84,380 points)
closed Apr 25, 2014 by Invincible

                                      What are the qualities you would look for in a Lover?

 

There are some qualities that we all have in mind, which we seek in a Lover. What are the qualities that would appeal to you?

An online dating Service, found Friendship to be the most sought quality. 92% of the women and 82% of men ticked this quality as their most preferred in a relationship. What is your perception?

Good chemistry or physical closeness was next, with the comment “enjoying the way my partner makes me feel”.

Surprisingly, many partners did not lay emphasis on whether a person smoked or drank, their level of education, their age and even their personal beliefs. Do you agree with these findings? Or are you particular about your lover’s habits and physical traits? Would your preference be different depending on your gender? As a male, are your lover’s physical attributes important to you?

On a scale of 1 – 10, (1 being the most preferred) , how would you rate the following in your Lover?

  1. Friendship
  2. Chemistry
  3. Personality
  4. Romantic attraction
  5. Education
  6. Income
  7. Religion
  8. Smoked or drank?
  9. Age
  10. Ability to discuss and talk about personal problems.     
closed with the note: Old enough to close this post, doesn't need new answers.
commented Oct 29, 2013 by rajuindia (125 points)
edited Oct 29, 2013 by Sudeep Mohan

i think UNDERSTANDING is the bigest among all ........

 

 

(One liner hence converting to a comment

Editor)

commented Oct 31, 2013 by longhands1 (84,380 points)
edited Oct 31, 2013 by longhands1

I shall tabulate the Answers and shall work out the Percentages. I need a few more Replies.

I shall also send all those who took part in the Discussion a Link through the PM of a Digital watch with Human figures.

LH

 

 




9 Answers

0 like 0 dislike
1. Personality
2. Romantic attraction
3. Friendship
4. Smoked or drank?
5. Age
6. Ability to discuss and talk about personal problems
7. Chemistry
8. Education
9. Income
10. Religion
answered Oct 28, 2013 by existence (475 points)
edited Oct 29, 2013 by existence
commented Oct 29, 2013 by prashant69 (7,210 points)

 existence   Heyyy you made a little blunder .You gave Rank 1 to personality as well as romantic attraction while 4th rank has been missing . better clear it! Same with 5th rank!and 10th too is it deliberate?  

commented Oct 29, 2013 by existence (475 points)
Yes, I had made a mistake and now corrected it.
0 like 0 dislike
1. Friendship
2. Chemistry
4. Romantic attraction
3. Personality
10. Ability to discuss and talk about personal
problems
5. Education
6. Income
7. Religion
8. Smoked or drank?
9. Age
.
This is my preferred sequence
answered Oct 29, 2013 by kamikazi (720 points)
1 like 0 dislike

Dear LH, in your list one more point should have been there.And that is communication .As it is it is there but spread across other points.In every relationship for relationship has to sustain a certain level of communication is must may be verbal or non verbal!However there could be such many points those could be put forward by differant persons . So it would be better to go along with the points given by you  i would rate them as follows! 

1) Chemistry -As if they dont have an instant chemistry to grow and exist together everything other is meaningless!

2)Friendship- Every pair of lovers should be great friends first only then they could become great lovers

3)Personality -Each other one should have an outstanding personality at least in the eyes of other! 

4)Age- Age differance should not be more than couple of years at the most 

5)Romantic attaction-Unless one is sexually attracted to other that relation wont be worthwhile.

6)Education - It paves way to discussion on the subjects of common interests!in turn making bond tighter and sought after.

7)Ability to discuss and talk about poersonal problems-Its most important to feel the  others grief and put forward possible solutions ( Most important as long as an EMA goes !)

8)Religion -In true love it matters least but if one keeps hes/her eyes open then it could be chosen but then it wont remain to be 'love 'in a conventional  sense.

9)Income-It should not matter much at least by defination but is also an important factor to be considered 

10)Smoked or drank-same as income Here importance to personal likings and dislikings and if it is despised by other partner then also who wanna smoke and get drunk, enough space should be provided that is true respect

This is my take dont know how our members would take it! 

prashant 

 

answered Oct 29, 2013 by prashant69 (7,210 points)
edited Oct 29, 2013 by prashant69
0 like 0 dislike

A good discussion LH, I think this would set in motion certain things when one person looks out for settling down in a relationship. Here’s my take on each:

Chemistry- this is probably very important in a relationship. I feel that any relationship is based upon the chemistry a person shares with his/her other half.

Personality- this is another important thing I would want to look when I consider loving. And I hope you mean the mental persona rather than the physical personality, because the latter doesn’t affect a relationship much while a small issue with the former might cause chaos, so I have it at the top.

Friendship- I love this part in a relationship because one should be able to talk anything to his/her partner when in a relationship, just the way friends do.

Romantic attraction- This one occupies a key role and I think this is the driving force of the relationship. Its always important to be attracted to your other half.

Ability to talk/discuss- this one here would come to haunt any person if he/she thinks this isn’t important in a relationship. I personally feel friendship covers this particular head but anyways since you kept it under a separate head I would take your cue.

Education- I love talking about all the stuff ranging from petty things to company takeovers to raging civil wars to problems surrounding people etc.......so I prefer a person who is well versed to discuss such things with me. After all I wouldn’t be tied down to talking sweet nothings all day long.

Age- I don’t prefer a much younger or older partner for me. A difference of 1 or 2 yrs wouldn’t hurt me.

Smoking and drinking- I don’t like my partner to have these habits because these not just turn out to be addictions but they would spoil the health, and health is an important part in a relationship, so this is a big no.

Religion- I for myself believe in humanity but having born into a certain religion it is my responsibility to discharge my duties towards my religion.

Income- I don’t give a damn about what my partner earns or what her financial position is because I would make sure I settle down only when I have the best possible lifestyle for me, so her income doesn’t matter to me.

answered Oct 29, 2013 by Invincible (12,550 points)
0 like 0 dislike
1. Chemistry
2. Friendship
3. Personality
4. Romantic attraction
5. Ability to discuss and talk about personal problems.
6. Age
7. Smoked or drank?
8. Education
9. Religion
10. Income
answered Oct 29, 2013 by kumar66 (145 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Friendship = 1
Chemistry = 1
Personality = 1
Romantic attraction = 1
Education = 1 At Least Graduate
Income = 10 doesn't matter
Religion = 10 Should Be A Good Human
Smoked or drank ? = 10 ( No To Both )
Age = 10 Must Be Healthy & Fit.
Ability to discuss and talk about personal problems. = 1
Mutual Understanding, Faith, Trust, Respect For each other. = 1

My Expectation in all is already Given by prashant 69 &  Invincible.
I Agree With Both Of Them.

Kind Regards
Raaz
answered Oct 30, 2013 by unknownraaz4u (150 points)
edited Oct 30, 2013 by unknownraaz4u
commented Oct 30, 2013 by prashant69 (7,210 points)
edited Oct 31, 2013 by prashant69

Raaz, At least i do not think they are exact definations or for that matter definations at all ! Its our outlook towards these things ! Its possible some other one could have differant perception of the same. 

commented Oct 30, 2013 by unknownraaz4u (150 points)
Sorry Buddy It Was Expectation Not Defination Thanks Will Correction.
0 like 0 dislike
1.    Friendship
2.    Personality
3.    Romantic attraction
4.    Income
5.    Education
6.    Age
7.    Chemistry
8.    Smoked or drank?
9.    Religion
10.    Ability to discuss and talk about personal problems.
answered Nov 1, 2013 by Sailesh (370 points)
0 like 0 dislike
As per my thought, one thing is missing in options i.e love. What you would call 'butterflies in stomach'. This is the initiation of love. We can't love just for good look, personality, friendship, education or any other things. These all are of no fun as compared to 'butterflies in stomach'. We love the persons with some mental vibes and such key concept is missing in your article. Love is not intended but it happens and given attributes isn't any benchmark of happening of love.
answered Nov 2, 2013 by basicinstinct (2,290 points)
edited Nov 2, 2013 by longhands1
commented Nov 3, 2013 by basicinstinct (2,290 points)
Dear longhand,
You have become a good editor. Hope you will maintain your attitude. Thanx a lot
0 like 0 dislike
1.Friendship

2. Ability to discuss and talk about personal problems Personality

3. Romantic attraction
4. Age
5. Chemistry
6. Personality
7. Education
8. Income
9. Religion
10. Smoked or drank?
answered Dec 17, 2013 by sandesh (150 points)
commented Apr 25, 2014 by bubu_002 (2,760 points)
moved Apr 25, 2014 by Invincible
1. Chemistry
2. Friendship
3. Personality
4. Ability to discuss and talk about personal problems
5. Romantic attraction
6. Education
7. Age
8. Income
9. Religion
10.Smoked or drank?
...