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I find it hard to maintain an erection.

asked Mar 29, 2013 in Questions by arnav_singh (145 points)
edited Mar 29, 2013 by Invincible

Hello Anjali Aunty,

I’m Arnav, I’m a regular visitor of your forum. This is my 1st post here, hope you solve my query. I’m married for 2yrs now; we don’t have a child yet; I maintain a good loving relationship with my wife. We engage in sex 3-4 times a week. We don’t have sex like newly wed as I loose my erection in a short time. I think this is not normal since when I discussed this with my friends on different pretexts they told me that a guy maintains an erection for a minimum of 4-5 minutes, but for me it is 30 seconds.

I think I’m suffering from some disease, so please help me improve my sex life. I want to maintain a proper erection for some time to enjoy sex.

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2 Answers

1 like 0 dislike
Arnav what all diseases are you suffering from? Are they diabetes, fluctuating blood pressure or anxiety, tension. These diseases or mental stress causes ED. There are plenty of medicines which are responsible for ED. One of them is very famous for ED, and used for treatment of brain injuries. Are you on medicines for a long time? Prolong use of few medicines reduces testrone and cause ED. You are loosing erection quite early, you should be able to hold it atleast for 10 to 12 mints. Many men in world face ED due to some reason or other. The very first task for you is to find whats makes you to loose erection. And then work on it. Generally ED can be treated in most of the cases. You just have to approach it correctly. For the time being dont engage in sexual activites. Consult a doctor and tell him, he will give you the correct advice. Eat healthy food and exercise on a regular basis. Because it is very necessary for the blood to flow properly to the penis to have a healthy erection. And keep doing Kegals exercise it helps. Stay away from smoking and alchohol, both are erection killer.
answered Mar 29, 2013 by land crusier (3,145 points)
commented Mar 29, 2013 by arnav_singh (145 points)
thank you so much crusier for your valuable answer.....yet i have no disease like diabetic, blood presssure etc.....but i have little stress in my mind may be that was the reason for ED
commented Mar 29, 2013 by land crusier (3,145 points)
Ok first get done with your stress, as I said dont engage in any sexual activity for few time. And you find your wife not SO SEXY is another major reason. If you had seen interracial porn, you might have observe how many times does a white man looses his erection while taking it on a black lady. Intially I thought its Physical issue causing ED. But you seem to have a Psychological reason. Have a proper foreplay right before sex and keep light on while you have sex.
commented Mar 30, 2013 by arnav_singh (145 points)
thank you so much sir but what's the reason to keep lights on??
commented Mar 30, 2013 by land crusier (3,145 points)
Keeping on light helps your vision sensors to sends signals to your brain and the erotic action may help you maintain erection. I am not joking, many couples have sex in front of mirror the action.
0 like 0 dislike

There are two ways of seeing your problem; one is premature erection which means you ejaculate early owing to performance issues and the other is erectile dysfunction which you think you’re suffering from. I think you’re suffering from PE which btw is not any disease; most guys face this issue at some point in their life. All you need is a little confidence in you and you need to brush your skills up.

1st of all let your wife know why you’re loosing erection early, let her not assume things, let her calmly you got PE and that way she would be able to understand you rather than feeling displeasure. Next task for you is to practise Kegal exercise which help the guy stay longer in bed, say 10-15 minutes even. I shall attach a link in the bottom for Kegal, go through that and practise it without fail.

As for the 2nd step, I suggest you take proper control of your mind and body. Don’t work your mind too much and don’t get too excited when you’re having sex. Your wife will not go any place, so spend time exploring her body. The universal average for a guy to maintain an erection is 4-5 minutes, while 7-10 is considered good and anything above 10 is very good. All it requires is a little practise.

1st of all spend time in foreplay and make sure your wife’s body is worshipped prior to penetration. Engage in oral sex and make sure she has her orgasm. Now coming on to penetrative part, take deep breathes and follow start-stop method to delay your ejaculation. Whenever you feel like ejaculating, disengage from her or talk to her about something by stopping your strokes and continue once the feeling fades away.

Maintaining a proper diet and engaging in some daily exercises and staying away from smoking and alcohol helps you have a better sex life, so don’t get stressed about it.

answered Mar 29, 2013 by Invincible (12,550 points)
commented Mar 29, 2013 by arnav_singh (145 points)
thank you so much sir for your advice its really very help full me but you mention term PE it reffers to partial errection or something else another ting you mention is about kegel exercise is it completely safe ??...and i must say here that my wife body is not so good but its ok and i have no complain about that but that may be the reason of ED??
commented Mar 29, 2013 by Invincible (12,550 points)

PE means premature ejaculation and I think you’re suffering from this and not ED. ED is a case where you cannot have an erection not even for a single moment. The process of ejaculating early is called PE. And Kegal is perfectly safe. All it involves is the practise where you stop your urine by concentrating on a specific nerve that is responsible for ejaculating. It is completely safe, don’t worry.

And you said your wife’s body is not so good, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t love her. No guy gets Angelina Jolie or Charlie Theron, learn to love her for what she is, that way you both can stay happy and can enjoy sex. Coming-undressing-penetrating-ejaculating-sleeping might be called sex, but it isn’t love. Once you start appreciating her body for what she is, she would feel happy with you and would love you more. If you don’t enjoy a proper erection owing to stress or something, undressing yourselves completely and cuddling her will provide her more satisfaction, kissing, licking, talking etc.....would be good. For women sex is about the emotional attachment, so love your wife.

commented Mar 30, 2013 by arnav_singh (145 points)
yes you are right may be its premature ejaculation but i want to clarify here that when i follow start and stop method in bed then i can hold my ejaculation at least upto 10-12 min and my problem is loosing errection as soon i ejaculate jus in 40 sec maximum
commented Mar 30, 2013 by Invincible (12,550 points)

Every guy looses erection once he shoots his semen, so you aren’t abnormal. For controlling your ejaculation you need to follow the above steps to enjoy a hassle free sex life. If you’re loosing erection after ejaculating, make sure you don’t ejaculate early. Have prolonged sex by taking regular breaks and then ejaculate when you feel like doing it.

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