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How to handle the love affair with neighbour now ?

asked Dec 3, 2012 in Questions by baljeetsb (705 points)
edited Dec 3, 2012 by Krish01
Hi everyone... I m having a love affair with my neighbour since last 7 years. I am 30 and she is 50 now. She has a 27 year old girl who is married. My neighbour lives alone with her husband who is a shop owner. Around 5 months back something happened which not only surprised me but her also. 5 months ago, one day when I was with her, she was a bit tense. I felt uneasiness in her mind and asked her. She told me that she had been having feeling of vommitting since morning. I told that she might have eaten something wrong but she told that it is not the case and that she is suspecting something else. I asked what and she said that she may be pregnant. Here I want to tell that we had been having sex without condom since last 6 years. I said that how this is possible. We next day went to a gynae and she did some tests and confirmeed to us that she is pregnant.

It was a plesant surprise for me but hard for her as she was not aware of how she would tell her husband. I told her to abort but she didnt want to do so.

Now she is 5 months pregnant. She managed to tell her husband and convince him that it is his own child. I would love to have her with me by marrying her but she wants me to continue as last 7 seven years.

Please suggest me how I can persuade her to divorce her hubby and marry me so that I can be near my own child.

I am married but my wife is not able to satisfy me so me and my wife are already going through divorce process.

Please advice me.
commented Dec 3, 2012 by baljeetsb (705 points)
Can some1 please provide suggestions?
commented Dec 3, 2012 by anon_sam (175 points)
Firstly, why did having a baby suddenly change your mind to marry the lady. U had been loving her, then why have u been waiting for a baby to get married?

You say u have been with her for the past 7 years and u love her a lot. but think about this: she has been living with her husband for more time than u, so just think how much more would she be loving him. if it is her and the baby YOU want, it is her family and husband SHE wants. Ask her to decide and not to worry about society (as another user said).

And about her, if she still wants to continue this relation, without marriage, unknown to her husband, i honestly feel she is using you as a  pleasuring toy. Sorry
commented Dec 5, 2012 by baljeetsb (705 points)
Seems that only 1 person is having suggestion for me. I will await more answers

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The same way you had convinced her to have sex with you, but I doubt if she will leave her husband of probably 30yrs, but figuratively she would if you put her at a point and ask her to deicide between you and her husband. After all if she is ready to bear your child she must be so close to you, so ask her to decide and let her know your actual intentions to divorce your existing wife and marry her to take care of her and your baby.

She would resist initially but she would do it depending up on the way you treat her normally when not having sex.

Its about time she got pregnant, has she been on pills all these 6yrs because how come she didn’t get pregnant all this while? This is what sex turned love, classic case this is. Go on, talk to her and seek her permission.

If she is hesitant to do this fearing society, tell her you love her, so no worry in doing this. Your question has kind of disgusted me but it was some kind of consolation, since you mentioned you love her and she does it back, good luck.

answered Dec 3, 2012 by Invincible (12,550 points)
selected Dec 3, 2012 by baljeetsb
commented Dec 4, 2012 by baljeetsb (705 points)
Hi Invincible,

Yes she is very close to me. It had been a love affair of 7 years but we took time to have our first sex. It took us around 5-6 months to go beyond the boundaries and have intercourse. I myself had been married for 3.5 years but it was unfortunate that my wife couldnot satisfy me. My neighbour is well aware of the fact that i am not satisfied with my wife and that i am going through divorce. I love my neighbour too much and she also loves me. I have expressed my desire of her divorcing her hubby and marrying me after reading your answer. She has not taken it 100% positively but she has also not negated it. She is aware that being the neighbour, it would be not good to divorce him and marry me. For this, I told her that if she agrees to my suggestion, I may start looking for a different location to move to. She told me that she needs time to think about it plus she doesnot want to hurry into any situation and so dont I. Plus I told her to consider it and donot answer under any pressure. Plus my divorce may take a couple of months time sh she has ample time to think.

Did I do anything wrong ? Is there any way I can turn her decision towards me.

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