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How do we engage ourselves in anal without any issues?

asked Dec 2, 2012 in Questions by amita22 (150 points)
edited Dec 2, 2012 by Invincible
Dear Anjali,
I’m Amita,36 year old married woman. I have two questions:

1.Everytime my husband does anal sex, it gives me immense pleasure but after sex his penis hurts for 1-2 days. He use oils for lubrication during sex and he uses thick candles to loose my asshole, saying that working by candle before sex for long time will loose my hole but it only gives me pain and doesn't work. I love anal sex but due to my husband problems we are not enjoying it.

2. My husband ejaculates inside my ass in sex. He is doing it for a long time, till now we have not faced any problem but is it safe? Is condom necessary for anal sex?

Please answer my questions and give me the solution in a detailed way so that I can understand. Help me.
commented Dec 5, 2012 by Invincible (12,550 points)


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5 Answers

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Best answer
1.if you are hurt by candles stop using it and tell him to use his penis only,i feel if u r doing anal frm long the holes should get loosen. after days it get loose and thn u will not haveany kind of pain,keep patience.

2. ejaculation inside ass has no harm,its gud to use condoms,but if he is not using telll him not to insert in vagina after doing in ass.
if u or he dont have any illness (like STD) andu maintain cleanliness u can continue with out condoms too

answered Dec 2, 2012 by seema_28_1 (680 points)
selected Sep 1, 2013 by amita22
commented Dec 5, 2012 by baljeetsb (705 points)
hello seema,

you seem to be getting knowledgeable about things. Good.

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You have crossed the main hurdle - that is the pain the woman experiences when a man inserts his penis into the woman's anus. Since you enjoy the sensation, am sure you would like to continue. Now the problem about your husband's pain in the penis. Remember the penis is a muscle and not bone, so it is easily hurt if it hits an obstacle like an anus.

The trick is to go slow. Take your time till the anus dilates to the maximum possible. Use your fingers to dilate it. And sont forget plenty of lubrication. Are you sure the candles you are using are hygenic? There could be residual germs on them that you are inserting into your urinary tract, which could cause UTI (Urinary Tract Infection). If you must use candles use a condom to cover them. Better still is a dildo that your husband can get you. They come in various sizes, can be washed and the condom fits easily on these due to the resemblance of the penis. 

Your worry about semen causing you harm if your husband ejaculates in your anus has no basis.  Semen is mostly water, fructose (a type of sugar), secretions from the prostate, testes and glands and sperms. Since you are not allergic to the semen, you have no cause for worry.         

Remember the following when having anal sex:

1. Cleanliness. Keep the anus clean. Do not move the penis from anus to vagina.

2. Use plenty of lubrication. Water based lubricants are latex friendly.

3. Stop if either of you experiences pain. You can always try it again the next time, but memory of pain will stay.

4. Be slow and patient. Penis should not be used for thrusting strokes. Slow motion is better. 

answered Dec 2, 2012 by longhands1 (80,625 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Hello Amita,

In Anal sex, normally it is the woman who experiences pain when a man inserts his penis in the ass hole. You have gone past it.  As far as the pain for your husband goes, he should use a lot of lubrication. Also you two should take care that your husband doesnot insert his penis in your vaginal after taking it out from your ass hole as it may cause infection.. Your husband should wash his penis after he takes it out from your ass hole.

Also He should go slow so that he doesnot feel pain. Also please dont use candle as it is not safe.
answered Dec 3, 2012 by baljeetsb (705 points)
1 like 0 dislike

If you are enjoying anal sex, keep on doing it, as it's all part of making each other happy.  If your husband is getting pain in his penis, maybe he should look at the lubricant he's using. Some of the oil based things you apply to the skin are okay externally, but if any goes down his urethra (where senmen and urine are expelled from), it might be causing an irritation through allergic reaction. You haven't been specific with the type of pain, or whether it's within the penis or on the surface; but whichever, a visit to the doctor would be the safe thing to do.

Using a candle or dildo, vibrator, fingers, carrot, whatever, to loosen your anus before penetration is fine if he lubricates anything beforehand. I recommend a water based gel which you can buy from the chemist. Loosening the sphincter muscles beforehand makes subsequent penetration by him much less likely to cause any bleeding that can happen if you're not properly prepared. This can be a very enjoyable part of foreplay as well. You can do the same to him, as many men love this, but are shy to ask.

Most people suggest using condoms, but I've enjoyed anal for years with my husband and a couple of previous partners, and we've never used a condom. We've never had any health issues with "bareback" anal sex, or rimming each other, and other anal pleasures. If you' ve never had a problem, just do what you've been doing and enjoy it!!!!!

Just try different lube, water based, or something edible like ghee if nothing else is available, and doctor if he still has pain.




answered Dec 3, 2012 by sexysalma (14,995 points)
0 like 0 dislike

Its a few days old question, you might have got the reply by now.  Some of the information are not accurate, what Salma wrote is the one you should follow.

First thing is, taking to anus for the first time is a bit tough as anus doesnot have any natural lubrication. Anus is one of the sphincter muscles in our body which tends to remain closed but can be exanded. Each time you go for, the anal entry will remain close, what your man is doing is right to loosen up. 

The ain part is usually when he makes a hurry to enter, he will feel pain.  For that when you are completely relaxed, get lubed and he plays to loosen more, he wont feel the pain. Ask him to take time on loosening and use water based lube.  Condom is not a must if you are clean and he doesnot enter more than the inside ring, which is about 4-5 inch depth. Beyond that its going to be messy. 

I am an anal lover, I dont use condom, but I use lube and spit. I dont enter the whole shaft, because the real sensation it gives is at the beginging of the hole. I make it loosen with tongue and fingers.

Ask your man to give a rimming job after vaginal sex with orgasm.  Then add lube on the hole and finger. On next step insert one finger, after sometime add the second. When two fingers are in, ask him to rotate that will loosen u more. Then add lube again on the hole and his dick and penetrate slowly. The trick is on the patience and move, not doing in hurry.

His cum in asshole is not an issue, that will soon enough go out. Ejaculation doesnot have any reaction on  hole. Dont worry on that.  As suggested by others, if your man inserts on the ass, shouldnot reenter on your mouth or vagina. Has to clean that up.  I dont use condom doesnot mean people should not, its a matter of health, better to use condom unless you are sure the hole was made well clean before. 

Final thing to say, anal sex is oular due to porno movies. By you can get similar leasure without analsex if your man knows how to stimulate you with fingers. In all cases, use lube as a must. Dont use regular cooking oils, a baby oil is a good sustitute or even an antiseptic cream.

answered Dec 9, 2012 by oye (25,670 points)

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