Is cybersex a form of cheating?

Question

Hai Anjalimam and members,

When I was talking with my friends I found little agreement on what counts as cheating. “If you’re just in some chat room [masturbating], and you are watching other people doing the same and Cumming, that’s not really cheating, is it?” one of my friend  said. “You’re not actually doing anything with them. there is no physical contact with them, It’s just fantasy.”

So, I wish to know your views  on this, will you consider this as cheating or not?

Answer 1

if you are leaving your partner unsatisfied for the sake of cybersex or masturbating... It is definately a form of cheating.

Second case may be like your partner also participate in same with you... then its fun, you both can enjoy watching them masturbating on webcam.

Answer 2

I used to do this till last year in ***** chat rooms where I will invite for C2C (cam to cam). Sometimes I could see some guys and sometimes I could see some couples. I used to undress myself showing me to them as well as seeing them naked and finally masturbate together. For few years I was addicted to this habit and trying to stop this now-a-days. I guess before marriage this may not be a cheating habit (since we need to drain our sexual desire through some ways ). After marriage this should be avoided since i have my wife to satisfy whatever I need.

Answer 3

Hello brother... I posted a question on Is Porno a form of cheating, you have taken to next step.  I never had any cybersex, so didnot want to ask that question, but was feeling that someone should ask.  Its good to see Pussycat asked, he is like my brother and always post thoughtful questions.

Now, what I think of cybersex. I feel its nothing more than low quality, better interactive and live porno. On porno my thought was, porno is not cheating if you are fulfilling your duty as husband and still can manage time for watch alone or together. I would say almost the same on Cybersex. First responsibility is fulfill the duty as a husband, then cybersex, alone or together.

If you are watching all recent MMS, you must have seen, all the cyber sex are turning to be real fatal, the clips are someway saved and leaked. A lot of cybersex started with good faith, ended bitterly. The name, fame, identity, all exposed along with clothes. Be absolutely sure who is on the other end.

That was one risk factor, the other risk factor is, as data passes through ISP or GSM, maybe the other couple is not the viewer alone, someother people are enjoying too. That includes, ISP, mobile operators, Govt Cyber unit, and even being recorded.

Now come to the real question, is it cheating? I would say its not always, if both are consenting. If a guy is depriving his wife and having a cybersex with another guy, means he is keen towards men. Its his right. He is satisfying himself as well as not cheating his wife. But in other way, his thoughts and mind is not with his wife, thats cheating. Cheating doesnot mean engage with some other person or couple physically only, when a couple are have a cybersex with another couple, they are not cheating, alone without spouse's consent, thats cheating. Forcing the  spose to do something that should be criminal offense.

Anyway, do what your conscious support you, I personally am never interested on any threesome or moresome, to me sex is between two adult person, consenting. Be it male female or male male or female female, thats not important, but has to be two person. Yet, I have this fantasy for ages on a threesome, which keeps me going hard, but I decline to fulfill that, because once I do, this fantasy wont work anymore.

Want to see more reply from you if cybersex is a cheating or not. Whatever way the answer goes, dont forget to be cautious, somone else is watching, dont forget that.  That small webcam can ruin your hard earned name.

Answer 4

ya.it was cheating but ur partner dont need its nt cheating

Answer 5

Dear pussycat,

The cybersex you have described is entering chat rooms and participating throuh webcams. However cybersex can also be an encounter in which two or more persons connected remotely via a computer network send one another sexually explicit messages describing a sexual experience.

Cybersex sometimes includes real life masturbation. Cybersex can occur either within the context of existing or intimate relationships, e.g. among lovers who are geographically separated, or among individuals who have no prior knowledge of one another and meet in virtual spaces or cyberspaces and may even remain anonymous to one another. In some contexts cybersex is enhanced by the use of webcams to transmit real-time video of the partners.

Cybersex perse is not a crime, because it is virtual. However, once the offender and the victim(s) decide to meet personally and have sex, it will become a crime if the offender uses violence, fear or intimidation against the other person.

It is of course definitely a crime if you are cybering with a minor.

Oye, makes some valid points. How do you know you are not being recorded, which leaves you open to blackmail. How do you know that everyone else in the chatroom is not watching you masturbate!

Now your query about it being cheating. Ofcourse it is, if you are married or in a relationship. Reverse the roles and ask yourself, would it be cheating if my wife or female partner did it? You have your answer.

Answer 6

Well,i have to admit that i am a bit possessive and jealous person...i would not like if my partner ignore me and indulge with others in cybersex...
...So,that makes Cybersex a form of cheating in my opinion..

But opinions do vary,and the best way to find out your own opinion is to ask yourself wheter you would like if your partner indulged with others in Cybersex...

Dear Pussycat,we would want to know your opinion too...you said you found little agreement..but i could not fully comprehend that well....he he he...please don't mind for asking your personal view.

Answer 7

Hai everyone, thanks for your replays. almost all agreed to the point that its a form of cheating. Then this question have nothing to do with me, I have a friend whose wife works in other part of the country so they are not living together for months. He is attractive,a good father and a good husband. for past few months he was engaging in cybersex and its known to few of us. He hates EMAs and cheating, many girls are interested in him, but he wont cheat his wife, His wife is also a nice person. so this discussion came on cybersex, his view is that, Cheating is done only when physical or emotional attachment occurs as there is no physical or emotional thing in Cybersex he is not ready to accept it as cheating and he is also not avoiding his wife's needs, during cybersex.

As many of you said, if we avoid our spouses needs and do cybersex, its cheating. here he is not avoiding his wife's needs, then i am of the view that he is only fulfilling his needs without physical or emotional attachments so it cannot be considered as a cheating in this case.
but i also agree with all others that when one avoides spouses needs and engage in cybersex its cheating.

Answer 8

Well I don't think cyber sex is any kind of cheating provided you are fulfilling your partner's need..
But there may be some kind of risk as oye brother said i,e someone may record that and leaked as MMS..
Otherwise you are free to enjoy the act..

Answer 9

According to dictionary definition, cheating means:  Be sexually unfaithful to one's partner in marriage!!

So, it means that if the husband is open about his cybersex activities to the wife, he is not a cheat!!!! If I am open and honest about my cybersex activities to my wife and my wife gives ‘consent’ to my cybersex side, or even participates in it, then I’m not being an unfaithful husband. If it is consensual between husband and wife, it is NOT cheating.

So, cheating is a relative term in such case. There is nothing absolute in it. The term can be used to mean whatever a person wants it to....

Now, it all boils down to two different categories. One is mental in nature,and another physical. Regarding the mental aspect, I will echo what was discussed here  : http://www.askanjali.com/54371/is-watching-porno-a-form-of-cheating

But, as long as it is not physically too harmful in nature, it is not to be taken so seriously, too.
Cybersex can be viewed in terms of whether it is harmful or non-harmful, especially physically. Some say,if you masturbate during cybersex and lose physical interest in your wife, you are physically depriving her of her right!! But what if I don’t lose physical interest in my wife even after cybersex? What if I can give her sexual satisfaction, even after being in cybersex?

Now, if we take the physical aspect of cybersex so seriously, then we should also take “eating sweets” very seriously. Because we can say “sugar” or “sweets” could be the cause of diabetics or fatness which could be the cause of “impotency” or “low libido”. So. showing the cause of “fat” and/or “diabetics”, are we gonna deprive our spouses of all foods that have sugars or sweets?

We need to draw a line between what is “too much harmful” and what is “positively acceptable”!! There should be a boundary between what is acceptable and non-acceptable, which should be set by the husband and wife with discussions, openness and honesty!! If something is making my spouse happy and I’m not being thrown out or ignored by her due to that “something”, why should I not let her have that “something”? If my wife wants to have cybersex and it is being done safely by her,then why should I see any reason to be concerned about it or to stop her from doing it?

Answer 10

Bro, if u call this cybersex as cheating, then watching porn is also cheating.. Coz in porn, the video is recorded and in cybersex, its live.. Not much of a difference.. The quality of the video is better in porn though..:P
And moreover cybersex is boring.. Coz there is not much of interesting stuffs u can really do there.. If the person is present physically thr atleast we can do something and enjoy.. E sex if kinda boring.. Jus watching and masturbating.. Instead we can either fantasize and masturbate or watch some nice porn in HD quality and masturbate.. All the same..
I dont think so this is cheating.. Moreover, we do not need to give hope to the other person in the cybersex case to get them remove their clothes.. And u need not assure em to be in a relationship or any crap.. Jus watch and enjoy.. So this cannot be a form of cheating as it does not involve giving hopes..