Interested in having sex with other ladies [ not wife ] and masturbating?

Question

Dear Anjali and AAA Friends,

I am 40 years old man. Married and have 2 kids. We got married 18 years before and our married life is happy in all ways but I cannot tell our sexual life is happy. Because, I am masturbating almost all the days some days twice or thrice. I am very much interested to watch porn movies.

Now a days I am not interested to sex with my wife however I have desire to sex with other ladies. Even once in a while I am approaching call girls also.  But not interested  sex with wife at all. I know this is bad habit. She is happy to make pleasure in all ways. I am totally worry about my nature.

Please advise me how to change my sexual habit.

Answer 1

Variety, they say is the spice of Life. But you can spice up your life by bringing in variety in your own sex life. You do not have to look "outside" for fun.

Somewhere along the way. as your children were growing up, you have neglected your wife. Watching porn is ok, as long as it is not an addiction. And what is addiction is a fine line indeed. Masturbation is easy because it is one sided. It does not involve lengthy foreplay and the goal of bringing your partner to orgasm.

If at your age (40+) you are masturbating 2/3 times a day, it means you have too much time on your hands and not enough distractions (work).

Your comment about visiting call girls, will solve nothing. On the contrary you are playing with fire. All that you have worked to achieve, will be destroyed, if you contract any disease (especially AIDS).   

Married life cannot be happy, if there is no sex. Make a conscious effort. Communicate with your wife. Maybe she has become obese, sloppy, lazy. But she is the mother of your children and your wife. It is for you to make the effort.

Best of Luck.

Answer 2

Many wives lost their charms due to the household work but as you are interested in the other ladies so you always want to avoid your wife and approach towards the call girls.

You cannot change your nature instantly as you are habitual of it now but time will teach you a lesson & definitely make you aware about the importance of your life partner too.

But at present situation you have only one option that try to find the Love in your wife & when you get it then only approach her for sex otherwise spend your money on the call girls & take the fun till your pocket allows as We always ignore the FREE offers.

Answer 3

You said she is happy to make pleasure in all ways.
So it means she is enjoying sex with you. Problem is from your side.
You are 40 years old & father of two kids so going to call girls is not a good option because this will cause bad effect on your character.
It seems like you are not satisfied from your wife because of same boring sex sessions. trying new things could spice up your sex life. Try to control your masturbation habit. Love your wife. Tell her your problem. If you feel masturbation is much pleasurable then let it on your wife, tell her to give you a good blow job or hand job.
Also your problem is not completely physical it is also mind game. Go 7 enjoy a good vacation with your wife only (not Kids) sure you will feel some change & this will help you.

Answer 4

When we eat same dish from same plate almost every day we may get bored and look for something else, its normal behavior, so wise men mix things in different ways  to get a different taste, so as to avoid hoping from one plate to another.

You are an addict to masturbation, after masturbating for 2 or 3 times in a day and how can you expect any interest for real sex when your sack is empty. When you feel you want to masturbate go to her ask for a BJ, continue it into a real intercourse, don't simply jerk it off. go for quickies.

Discuss the matter with your wife and find out her views in that, don't tell her that you are not interested in her sexually it may destroy her self esteem and respect for you instead ask her for ways to make your sex life more spicy and interesting.

Try to find out the best ways to keep both of you attracted to sex and modifications in your life to make it different and interesting.

Answer 5

Dear Arun, your life has become somehow routine , work , porn ,  masturbate and call girl.

You need to spice up your life , need to go for a second honeymoon, only you and your wife , no kids. Go out for 1 to 2  weeks rediscover each other spend time together , learn what makes her happy and find happiness in making her happy, be romantic, watch movies together, courtship again , remember how you were when you had just met your wife to be.

It may sound strange but you need to rekindle the love flame, dont think of sex at start , sex will come automatically once you can reconnect with your wife mentally. Do similar as youth do or when you were young.
 
Now masturbation 2/3 per day is really not good for you it need to be 2/3 per week for a youth but for you ask your wife for blowjob or make her masturbate you.

Callgirl is definetly a very bad option not recomended at all, you have a pretty wife at home so seek pleasure within your couple and not outside.  

Note : You may take your kids for your second honeynoon , then book seperate room for you couple and one for your kids .

All the best

Answer 6

Dear Arun,

Some Very good suggestions and advises have already been answered for you...
I just want to add a few details....

Yes,such instincts do appear more often than not in this stage of married life..So,you are not alone out there with such problems...!!!

But you are 'thinking' its 'not good' and that you want for some solutions...that's what makes us humans,separate from animals...i appreciate that...!!

Now as most members have already answered,yes you need to spice up your married life..you need a break from your daily routine and if possible a second honeymoon or a holiday..

And most importantly,please try to break your addiction to porn and masturbation alone...you can watch some softcore porn along with your wife for mutual stimulation..
.and never compare yourself or  your wife with the pornstars....!!!
Improvise your sexual art...try and imagine something out of boring typical routine sexual intercourse...buy some erotic magazines and read together with your wife or give her to read..!!.

..stay with us here and ask your doubts and learn..
Tell your wife also to participate...let her also ask questions and learn the art too ....!!!

And please be extra careful of extramarital affairs or going for callgirls..i personaly would suggest you not to go for that 'other option'.if you are not that mentally prepared and smart enough for 'cover-up',it  will only lead to disastrous results and will ruin your married life and most importantly,the lives of your kids...!!

Good Luck...!!!

Answer 7

Its a common problem, repeating the same thing causes this.

Be innovative on sex, do something that she is not expecting, without hurting anyone. Talk to her about her fantasy. If you are doing the same thing as routine, that's a problem for her, she will look outside, if she is doing the same expectedly, it will be boring for you.

Take a leave, spent quality time and talk about how to spice up your sex life, add some fantasy, role play, doing something adventureous.  You will find the flair back.

If the love is there, just because you are having sex for 18 years wont make you tired. The boredom and expected act will. Your interest on other lady, not bad, we all have that desire. You only can go for it if you can risk your marriage life or can really control the situation.  But making one or two effort is not that bad as long as its safe. I remember one guy posted here, he lost all his sex interest in his wife, and started having sex with his maid, that went on for 5/6 month. That made him change his view again, and could work out back to his wife with new vigour. Some change might help you, when you get to see to meet your extra need you are paying too much, then the same good old trusted and free fuck with wife seems the best option.

Answer 8

You cannot change your nature instantly as you are habitual of it now but time will teach you a lesson & definitely make you aware about the importance of your life partner too.

Comments

Dear Friend ,

Why are you copying and paste other users answers, better reply on your own and if you can't better don't do it.

Don't waste your time and ours.