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Why am I not reaching the climax? [closed]

asked Jan 27, 2012 in Questions by srujana (150 points)
closed Aug 3, 2012 by longhands1

Hi All,

I am srujna aged 19 years, coming to the point as I was reading lots of sexual stories in some other site, I am maturbating very frequently in my room.

I am not willing to use any type of toy and any such other things. I am masturbating alone with my fingers only, but am not able to reach my  climax. Moreover this is causing some pain and this is disturbng me a lot.

Moreover I heard in some story that some thing squeezes out from vagina if we reached climax, is that true? Anyone can u please suggest me anything? Please dont post rude answers...plz dnt suggest to use toys or contact any other boy, am not intrested in such activities...

closed with the note: Closed as over 6 months old

3 Answers

0 like 0 dislike
First of all,no,you don't need to release liquids/fluids from vagina for reaching climax! Some women do squirt,but this is not necessary for reaching orgasm!! However,vaginal walls keep releasing liquids and get wet when you get stimulated! Usually,this liquid release process starts when a female gets stimulated/prepared for sex/gets horny,etc! Contractions of vaginal wall are mostly connected with female climax!

How do you define "climax"? I mean,how do you know that you will reach climax? What type of physical sensation do you need to feel to understand that you have reached climax?

I'm asking these questions because it seems you are connecting physical sensations with the descriptions found in sexual stories!!

You haven't describe your process of masturbating!! Which part of sexual organs do you use for masturbation-is it vagina or it is clitoris? Note that some females have difficulty reaching orgasm/climax through vaginal stimulation only!! Some women just need clitoral stimulation!! Some need to use both vagina and clitoris for reaching orgasm!! You need to check out and experiment with your body to find out which one works best for you!!!

A female's ability to climax usually improves with age. May be,you need more times....

Go slow. Know your body and mind!! Stimulate yourself on mental level!! Female's sex is deeply connected with mind,too. A female needs to be mentally stimulated! You just can't jump,and start doing it,and reach climax everytime!

If it is causing vaginal pain,that means you are putting too much stress on your organs!!! Looks like,you are trying too hard!! I hope,you are using lubricants of some sort while masturbating!! If not,then use lubricants!! Again,go slow,calm down!! It's gonna come to you in due time!!

Most females do have difficulty reaching orgasm,especially young ones! It's in many cases psychological in nature!! Female's sex is blocked with the negative social conditioning regarding sex!! For example,just have a look at your own view-you said : "plz dnt suggest to contact any other boy"..........The question is : why not? Are you having trouble with thinking of sex with males? If so,why so? Ask yourself,find out your belief systems,your conditioning!!

Don't worry,don't be too concerned!! Give yourself times,relax and have fun!! Everything will be alright!!
answered Jan 27, 2012 by elitely (595 points)
edited Jan 27, 2012 by elitely
commented Jan 29, 2012 by srujana (150 points)
i already mentioned that, going for another boy or usng any others toys was not my intention, that doesnt matter itz wrong or rite... u peopl try 2 understnd my presnt situation...
commented Jan 30, 2012 by elitely (595 points)

I didn't suggest "boys" as toys for you!!!! May be,you didn't read well what I wrote!! Or,may be,I couldn't communicate well enough!! I just suggested that you MIGHT have resistance to sex,which is "indicative" from your "I'm not into boys" mentality!!!

Also,I'm not judging you or suggesting you about "right and "wrong". But if it is a "problem",then you need to get to the core of the problem. And to get to the core of the problem,you need to check out all possible "options"/"choices"/"reasons"/"sources".

Anyway,you are giving strict conditions and expecting remedies!! Hmmmm.............It's unlikely that you'll find solutions that way...

0 like 0 dislike
Girl, watching porno and reading erotica is a mean of stimulating people. Its not for believe on them and feel bad about yourself. A small example, if you keep reading all dicks are 9 inch and in reality face a 4 inch, you should not get upset.

Now as you said, I am not suggesting any toy or boy friend. I feel, you dont know how to frig. For a girl, frigging is an art, she should know what to do and how to do. You cant go on insert two fingers and expect you can reach climax. For any girl, a clitoral orgasm is much more than vaginal orgasm. You have to concentrate on your clit, but not jump on that too.

Go slow, rub the whole vulva, except clit. You can use lube also. once labias are attended, keep your self busy with U spot and vagina. and at the end go for clit.  On clit start with surrounding area on circle, and eventually go for clit stimulation. You sure can reach there.

For a sure shot one, insert one finger on vagina and rub upper wall, use the other fingers on your clit. Take time go slow and enjoy. If this doesnot help, dont read any of my further replies.
answered Jan 28, 2012 by oye (25,670 points)
commented Jan 29, 2012 by srujana (150 points)
thnks 4 ur suggestion oye... definitely i will try...  but 2 b frank i didnt like ur way of suggesting... dnt b rude nd misunderstnd me.. anyways thnks again... :(
commented Jan 29, 2012 by oye (25,670 points)
I am extremely sorry for hurting your feeling. If possible do inform me, I will make necessary editing on my reply.

My intention is never to undermine, sometimes I talk in a jovial mood, if that offends people, I will try not to write.  Rather than write and make an unnecessary complication, its better not to write.

Sorry for offending, again.
0 like 0 dislike
Any man who claims to know the answer to this question would most probably be wrong. But I want to take a go at it with my experience of pleasuring my partners with a hand job (if that phrase can be used in a male to female situation) which you may be able to use by yourself.

Different women like it different but a series of steps that seems to work mostly are:
1) I don't go on to the vagina directly. I move my hands around thigh joints on both sides for at least 15 to 20 minutes. You could do this to yourself while you are enjoying the story. I guess it will take more than a single story for that duration
2) Next I gently and softly caress the entire organ from top to bottom for around 10 minutes. I am careful that it is just a gentle and soft touch and no attempt to insert fingers at all. At this time I observe that women tend to close their eyes enjoying the sensation. May be you could close your eyes and imagine the hands of that handsome hunk you have a crush on :)

3) By this time there is a slight wetness which creeps in the vagina. The idea may be is to continue until you start enjoying the sensation. I gently move my index and middle finger inside and hold the labia between the two fingers. Then I start twisting the fingers with the labia between them. I do this gently at first and increase speed and pressure as per expressions of the woman. I guess this you should be easier for you since you are pleasuring yourself would know what amount of each is good for you. For most women the wetness increases at this stage.

4) Once the entire organ is fairly wet I move my index finger toward the vagina and keep rubbing as I go and proceed as I observe pleasure on the face of the woman.

5) As the wetness increases (and hopefully the sound of the moans) I move first my single finger and next the other finger into the vagina and turn the fingers to rub the inside wall of the vagina. At this point mostly the women tend to guide me or I encourage them to guide me on the amount and insertion and speed of movement.

6) Continue until orgasm.

1) Each one of my steps is based on amount of wetness however I have observed that some women don't easily get wet and in such cases a lubricant and quick sucking onto my fingers usually helps. It has given me good results.
2) Environment is very important. Make sure you are relaxed and don't expect someone to walk into you. This ensures peace of mind.
3) You are engaging in self pleasure and make sure you are showing yourself a good time. Dim lights, scented candles could come very handy in this.
4) I can see that you enjoy stories and you don't like the idea of toys. Just as a suggestion you could try soft porn. There are a lot of women friendly (not too rough, the way women tend to prefer) videos on net
5) Some of my partners also prefer to watch women on women porn while I please them. This does not mean that they are lesbian. They tell me they like to see the general gentleness involved.

I hope this is helpful. Don't forget you gotta love yourself before you expect someone else to do it for you. You are young and just entering into an interesting phase of your life. Make sure you you spend a lot of time discovering yourself (if you know what I mean ;) ) and not feel dejected or worried so soon
answered Feb 1, 2012 by sg (130 points)
commented Feb 1, 2012 by oye (25,670 points)
Why people are so judgmental? The lady asked this question is judgmental, the guy replied as SG is judgmental. How come we male are so wrong only one emotional lady is right and a man with great skill is right?

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