Dear Anjali and all,
I am a 47 years old male. I am married with two kids. One is a son of 12 years and another is a daughter of 09 years old. The incidents described below may seem to be improbable and impossible but I swear every word is true and my family has been destroyed because of that.
It all happened when my daughter was around 05 years old. She was taken care of by one old lady who was staying in our house. I loved my daughter very much and even my son was jealous of that. She used to lie beside me while watching Tv and was very close to me. But one night when she was sleeping in the night by my side, she held my finger and put my finger on her vagina and tried to caress her vagina. But ignoring this I withdrew my finger but she slept all along the night clinging to my body.
This had happened regularly and I ignore that thinking that it is all childhood fetish. Then one night she caught hold my penis and tried to rub my penis around her vagina. At that moment I withdrew and when I looked at her with annoying eyes she said “please Baba for a moment please”. But I went away and slept in another room. Next morning I told that to my wife who got furious and started beating her. Later, I consoled her and asked her why she is doing that. She said that she feels good while doing that and it gives her some pleasure. I was crest fallen.
I was surprised from where she learnt all that. I doubted the old lay who was taking care of her and removed her from my house. After that my wife used to lock her when she was to be left alone in the home with me. She was also highly disturbed. I tried to pacify her saying that it will go away with age and she shouldn’t give importance to such things. But she refused to accept and she started to doubt me that I allowed her to develop that habit. Frequent quarrel over this followed and i have to swear that i have and had no such intention. On my repeated assurance things got normal but she was not allowed to come nearby me at any cost. But after some months things were normal.
But one day after some months finding me alone in my house and my daughter who behaving normally for some months kissed me and but when she started kissing me repeatedly I thought something was wrong. I just affectionately told her that it is all normal to show affection when deprived for long by her mother. Then after some days finding me sleeping alone in my house she slipped inside my blanket naked and embraced me and started kissing and pleaded that i allow her to hold my penis and to caress her vagina with my hand.
When I was frightened and she said that she shall not tell anything to my wife and she want it for minute or two. In order to discover what her real intention was i just allowed her to do what she wanted. She first kissed me in my lips and tightly embraced me and slept over me and was rubbing my penis over her vagina. I got an erection and at the point of ejaculation I moved away and told her that it is all wrong and she shouldn’t do such things again. I enquired how she came to know all such things but she simply said she knows it and she feels good by it. She also said to me that if I permit we can continue and she likes to do it with me because she loves me very much.
We continued to such for over a year thinking that she is only a baby, nothing is serous as long as we are not doing anything more than embracing or of her holding my penis and rubbing her vagina for a minute or two. But one day my wife found her sleeping with me naked. Whole world was fallen on me that day. My wife attempted suicide and even tried to kill my daughter and with much difficulty I prevented her from doing so. She even tried to move away from the house and was abusing me thinking that I am destroying my daughter and I am the worst creature in this world.
My daughter being afraid with the rage of my wife also told her that I forced her all the way to do all such things. Unable to bear the shame and humiliation I also attempted suicide by jumping into a river but i was saved by a stranger. Then I got my transfer to a distant place and I immediately moved away to the new place of posting some eight month back. Since that day i have never visited my house even when my wife requested me to return home. My son is also missing me a lot. But i know my has not forgiven my for that and till date she still think that I have a crush on my daughter and on the first opportunity I shall resume my relationship with my daughter.
I am unable to explain my position nor can I also free from self guilty. I love my daughter actually like any father loves her daughter. It is she who started all this. And perhaps it was wrong in my part to ignore and allow the things to continue thinking that since she is a small girl of 09 years and I will be able to make her understand what is right or wrong. I have done nothing wrong with her. But still deep inside I also never forgiven myself, for this I have opted for self imposed exile. I don’t know here my fault lies but surely some fault lies with me certainly otherwise why I am suffering Now I have lost my family and love of my children and on the verge of separation from my wife. I don’t’ know what to do now.
You may not believe this but I swear every word of it is true. I shall testify with my phone no. & other details if Anjali asks me and assures me confidentiality about my identity. Rest is up to God & my destiny. I am a 47 years old male. I am married with two kids. One is a son of 12 years and another is a daughter of 09 years old. The incidents described below may seem to be improbable and impossible but I swear every word is true and my family has been destroyed because of that.