Welcome to AskAnjali.com India's No 1 Sexual Health Forum. Ask Anjali and other experts & members questions on Sex, Masturbation, Relationships, Love, Affairs, Penis and much more.
Want to listen to the voice of your HOT Anjali Aunty? Click on the "Audio Answers" menu link and listen to her answer all your sexual questions.

8,924 questions

32,399 answers

25,058 comments

38,052 users

The Ask Anjali Team

Sidebar

Why do I have such incest feelings towards my daughter?

–2 votes
38.9K views
asked Aug 10, 2011 in Questions by lunguda (123 points)
closed Oct 28, 2012 by lunguda

Dear Anjali and all,

I am a 47 years old male. I am married with two kids. One is a son of 12 years and another is a daughter of 09 years old. The incidents described below may seem to be improbable and impossible but I swear every word is true and my family has been destroyed because of that.

It all happened when my daughter was around 05 years old. She was taken care of by one old lady who was staying in our house. I loved my daughter very much and even my son was jealous of that. She used to lie beside me while watching Tv and was very close to me. But one night when she was sleeping in the night by my side, she held my finger and put my finger on her vagina and tried to caress her vagina. But ignoring this I withdrew my finger but she slept all along the night clinging to my body.

This had happened regularly and I ignore that thinking that it is all childhood fetish. Then one night she caught hold my penis and tried to rub my penis around her vagina. At that moment I withdrew and when I looked at her with annoying eyes she said “please Baba for a moment please”. But I went away and slept in another room. Next morning I told that to my wife who got furious and started beating her. Later, I consoled her and asked her why she is doing that. She said that she feels good while doing that and it gives her some pleasure. I was crest fallen.

I was surprised from where she learnt all that. I doubted the old lay who was taking care of her and removed her from my house. After that my wife used to lock her when she was to be left alone in the home with me. She was also highly disturbed. I tried to pacify her saying that it will go away with age and she shouldn’t give importance to such things. But she refused to accept and she started to doubt me that I allowed her to develop that habit. Frequent quarrel over this followed and i have to swear that i have and had no such intention. On my repeated assurance things got normal but she was not allowed to come nearby me at any cost. But after some months things were normal.

But one day after some months finding me alone in my house and my daughter who behaving normally for some months kissed me and but when she started kissing me repeatedly I thought something was wrong. I just affectionately told her that it is all normal to show affection when deprived for long by her mother. Then after some days finding me sleeping alone in my house she slipped inside my blanket naked and embraced me and started kissing and pleaded that i allow her to hold my penis and to caress her vagina with my hand.

When I was frightened and she said that she shall not tell anything to my wife and she want it for minute or two. In order to discover what her real intention was i just allowed her to do what she wanted. She first kissed me in my lips and tightly embraced me and slept over me and was rubbing my penis over her vagina. I got an erection and at the point of ejaculation I moved away and told her that it is all wrong and she shouldn’t do such things again. I enquired how she came to know all such things but she simply said she knows it and she feels good by it. She also said to me that if I permit we can continue and she likes to do it with me because she loves me very much.

We continued to such for over a year thinking that she is only a baby, nothing is serous as long as we are not doing anything more than embracing or of her holding my penis and rubbing her vagina for a minute or two. But one day my wife found her sleeping with me naked. Whole world was fallen on me that day. My wife attempted suicide and even tried to kill my daughter and with much difficulty I prevented her from doing so. She even tried to move away from the house and was abusing me thinking that I am destroying my daughter and I am the worst creature in this world.

My daughter being afraid with the rage of my wife also told her that I forced her all the way to do all such things. Unable to bear the shame and humiliation I also attempted suicide by jumping into a river but i was saved by a stranger. Then I got my transfer to a distant place and I immediately moved away to the new place of posting some eight month back. Since that day i have never visited my house even when my wife requested me to return home. My son is also missing me a lot. But i know my has not forgiven my for that and till date she still think that I have a crush on my daughter and on the first opportunity I shall resume my relationship with my daughter.

I am unable to explain my position nor can I also free from self guilty. I love my daughter actually like any father loves her daughter. It is she who started all this. And perhaps it was wrong in my part to ignore and allow the things to continue thinking that since she is a small girl of 09 years and I will be able to make her understand what is right or wrong. I have done nothing wrong with her. But still deep inside I also never forgiven myself, for this I have opted for self imposed exile. I don’t know here my fault lies but surely some fault lies with me certainly otherwise why I am suffering Now I have lost my family and love of my children and on the verge of separation from my wife. I don’t’ know what to do now.

You may not believe this but I swear every word of it is true. I shall testify with my phone no. & other details if Anjali asks me and assures me confidentiality about my identity. Rest is up to God & my destiny. I am a 47 years old male. I am married with two kids. One is a son of 12 years and another is a daughter of 09 years old. The incidents described below may seem to be improbable and impossible but I swear every word is true and my family has been destroyed because of that.

closed with the note: no more answers needed
featued question

12 Answers

+2 votes
The Elektra Complex generally happens in the Phallic stage (or the 3rd Stage) for girls, especially if they see similarities in their father. If this is not properly treated and progresses in a negative direction, it leads to neurosis and makes you a pedophile.

Isloation is a good option for a quick-fix, but in the long run, counselling and treatment are important. Consult a shrink and get into therapy.
And stop being a sick man and take some responsibility. Perversions are not like habits which are difficut to give up. They are anomolies of character that need to be rooted out. If you are unable to resist, choose a higher bridge next time.
answered Aug 10, 2011 by Logical_Guru (175 points)
commented Aug 14, 2011 by mr.xx (313 points)
this guy has got it right , it is Electra syndrome but really difficult to understand how the physical manifestation became so extreme, definately the things she does has been learned by a third source
–1 vote
@" Logical_Guru" is absolutely right. your whole family needs counselling and should get into therapy immediately. isolating yourself or any attempt to forcefully dominate your daughter will do nothing but ruin your family. if you care for your wife and your son then reunite with them and avoid any intimate moment with your daughter. if situation demands you have to be stern and take care of things strictly.
see a reputed mental counsellor, that's the only best opton you have.
answered Aug 11, 2011 by incognito1235 (125 points)
0 votes
pyou have done a mistake which can not forgiven still go and join with your family dont allow your daughter to come near you also just confess with your wife and go for counselling everything will be fine .best of luck god bless you
answered Aug 14, 2011 by mrpl000 (307 points)
+1 vote
You wanted to know what is her intentions and you love her so much..
but this is not the right way to find her intentions in this way your encouraging her and become more frequent while she is growing..be a responsible father you both need counsiling..leaving your family is not a right option..
answered Aug 19, 2011 by ivar143 (245 points)
+1 vote
Some good people have already replied you. I dont have much to add.
Electra Complex is a psychological disorder which arises to girls of 5-6 years old when she wants the father's full attention.
She goes as far as competing their mother to get close to the father as her possession on psycho-sexual way. She sees the mother opens up and can have the father all her own, why cant she? The same happened here.
Its just the opposite of Oedipus Complex where little boys competes with father to get the mother as his possession.
On your case, I suggest you to go for good counselling.  Primarily its required for the daughter, then the mother to understand its not as it looked, rather it was a problem. And you too for opening up your clothes.
My last advice, never ever have open sex in front of children. It always affects them, most cases in a bad way.
answered Aug 19, 2011 by oye (27,125 points)
commented Aug 19, 2011 by lunguda (123 points)
this is the best answer i received from Oye. actually i am confused and now guilt conscious. i hope my daughter foregt all these after growing up and forgive this father who really loved her and i am sure she loves me too. i dont' know, but i hope. what s ur views oye?
commented Aug 20, 2011 by oye (27,125 points)
It depends. Depends on people around her.
When all these happen, she is 5-6 years old. Not much memory remains intact later. Its her mother and surrounding people's responsibility not to remind her later that she was sexually molested by her father. 100 out of 100 cases girls are given with a story that it was not her fault, she was molested.
On an interview La Toya Jackson (Michael's sister) blamed her father for infant molestation, where the issue might have been opposite.
In a nutshell, if surrounding people do understand the real problem and dont bring up that issue, she wont remember anything. If she is reminded, she will have a life long hate on her father.
+1 vote
It doesn't look real by any means!
answered Sep 1, 2011 by samdickalive (258 points)
0 votes
At one hand you are telling that your daughter has incest feeling towards you and you only loves your daughter as like a normal father so why the hell you titled this query as like you have incest feelings towards your daughter?? Do you enjoy fucking her?? This is not good a father and daughter relationship is not good. I detest mom-son and father-daughter relation. All others I feel normal.
answered Sep 3, 2011 by rahulsngh (144 points)
–2 votes
Your daughter is a minor and she may not know what is right or wrong. Her acts can be controlled through psychological counseling.
But you definitely appear to be a 47-yr adult fool. You admit that you have all feelings for her which a normal father should have for his daughter, and then you ask as to "Why do I have such incest feelings towards my daughter"?
Better you put your daughter in a boarding school and get yourself treated by an expert psychiatrist, where after you can lead a happy life with your mature-mind wife. Let your wife (and NOT you) periodically visit your daughter in the school.
answered Sep 5, 2011 by dr-deepika27 (1,768 points)
0 votes
This is sick...i posted a mom and son incest few days before. The only difference is the mom there is initiating everything. Her 13 year old son is deeply attached and he is enjoying the act these days. I directly tried to pacify the women..that this is not good. U should keep ur son little away after all he has grown up. But to my surprise she replied..."hamare north India mein to yaha sab chalta hai..ma beta bahut pyar karta hai" I am now just pissed off. My resepct for that family has totally vanished.

And man...pls be watch ur daughter as she is not doing the same with ur 12 year old son. I am afraid.
answered Sep 5, 2011 by novi (126 points)
commented Sep 6, 2011 by manish.naran (3,493 points)
moved Feb 1 by longhands1
what is happening here? is this real or fantasy?
0 votes
Dear Lunguda,

A couple of really great answers posted initially. Just want to add that dont be guilty of whatever happened. Be strong and see a psychiatrist along with your wife and you daughter.
Having the guild will cloud your decisions and weaken you, which at this juncture you cannot afford.
As far as how your daughter will perceive this, my best guess is that she will not forget this, but at the same time, wont hate or have negative feelings.

This is a pretty common thing to happen, but a difficult thing to accept and acknowledge. Kudos to parents like you who are now coming out with this.

Regards,
answered Sep 27, 2011 by indiandr (178 points)
commented May 12, 2012 by lunguda (123 points)
thanks dr. for your encouraging answer. my relation with my daughter have been normal recently. I hope everything goes normal ever after. thnak u again for really understanding of my problem
0 votes
i am afraid it may happen with me too!
answered Oct 15, 2011 by ravin69 (526 points)
–1 vote
Nice story @lunguda. Keep it up!
answered Oct 15, 2011 by Rajrocksbebo (104 points)
commented Nov 3, 2012 by Harry17 (125 points)
i pray to god helps you to find the way . Me not able to suggest ,
...