Awarded AA$ 100

Dear Anjali Aunty,

I am a 22 year old single girl. I come from a rich and conservative family. All my life, I have had no love at all as I have no siblings and I have never really got along well with my parents. My father is a complete alcoholic and my mom and I have faced a lot of domestic violence from him. Infact I still get beaten up by my mom for pity reasons.

I know that they love me more than anyone else in this world but they have failed to show it to me. They have never allowed me to do anything of my own wish, be it my school, my subjects, my college, my friends, career etc. They have always imposed their decisions on me and my happiness never mattered to them. Due to all these, I have developed a sense of hatred for them. Since the last 1 year, they have been forcing me to leave my studies and get married as my father is pretty unwell. Even I was ready for marriage as I thought I will have someone in my life who will love me and know my worth.

Last August, I met a guy who was the first person in my life with whom I could share everything. We got along really well. Within 15 or 20 days of our friendship, he started showing his love towards me and also proposed me for marriage. He was very serious about this relationship but I inspite of loving him could not move ahead because I knew if my parents came to know of it, they would kill me rather than getting me married to him.

Time passed. I confessed my love to him and we both started dating each other. But both of us realised that if we have no future then we should part our ways and so we did so in last January. After staying away from him for one month, I realised that I can't live without him. The distance was killing me. Meanwhile I had become very depressed and started thinking about suicide.

Then one day, my best friend advised me to elope with him knowing the fact that my parents were least bothered about my happiness. The same night, I called him. Initially he was not sure of his decision but I was able to convince him. We both decided that we would elope in June or July and marry. We have done all the preparations for our marriage. I have also spoken to his family on the phone. They all love me and have no problem with this marriage.

But my problem now is that as the time to elope is coming near by I am having second thoughts about my marriage. I am now more concerned about my parents; my family's name and all. Another concern is that the guy I love is from a middle class family whereas I come from a very financially strong background. We both are from different castes and I don't know whether I will be able to adjust in his family and culture and in a limited income. I also know that if I go for an arranged marriage, I can get very nice proposals in all respects but somewhere in my heart, I know that I love him very much and can't live without him. He loves me a lot and is very positive about our relationship.

What do I do now? Should I leave my family and go? My parents will be emotionally and mentally shattered and never accept me after my marriage. Will I regret my decision of marrying my love? Or if I leave him for my family and other reasons, would that not be a betrayal? How do I convince myself that what i am doing is right?

Please reply Anjali Aunty.

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38 Answers »

1. wow, this looks like a fake question. Sharman Joshiji. Sorry if I offend you but comeon.

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   Answer by Hitesh — May 19, 2010

2. U GIRLS ARE  SOOOOOOOO FUCKING CONFUSED. ND NEVER RESPECT WHAT YOU GET EASILY. jUST BECOZ YOU WERE ABLE TO CONVINCE THIS GUY EASILY NOW YOU ARE LOOKING FOR THE OPTION. IF HE WOULD HAVE REFUSED YOU, YOU WOULD ALWAYS BEG TO GET BACK WITH HIM ON ANY COST.
   BE CLEAR IN LIFE.

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   Answer by LOVE AND KUST — May 19, 2010

3. It looks like when you nearing to wedding lock you are coming to your reality in thinking and your original color… if you think your lover and love are true and strong rest should not much of a deal to adjust or understand….

    

   Now you realizing that you are rich and your friend is of limited income…different case… you will get better proposal…etc..isnt it? If you have this kind of thinking or nature better dont go for it…because you might repent in future for sure in case of any small issue also….

   In case if you think he is the best or better lover with whom you can lead your future life as his family member with his financial status happily then never remember your richness any more… what ever…. all the best to you!

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   Answer by braves — May 19, 2010

4. What are you going to Do Now .. This is Little Tricky As you Don't know The Boys Parents Too well .. They Might Sound Well, But how Do you Know What might Happen .. Best of Luck on whatever You decide .. Keeping my Fingers Crossed ..

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   Answer by rockstud — May 19, 2010

5. along wid u, u have mede me confused too.. i can very well imagine the situation and the facts as u said.
   if u can adjust with him, his family and with the income.. i think now there is no looking back..
   and in most of the cases it happens when u give birth to baby, family accepts it..
   all the best.

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   Answer by Acid — May 19, 2010

6. @hiteshji….it's not fake…it's about my life ……@rockstud i have spoken to his parents and sisters several times on phone…they are very simple people,moreover their son's will is important 4 them.. i dont think they should be a problem.

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   Answer by shraman — May 19, 2010

7. This is very typical problem….arising since long back in our community….. and only 2 option are available in your case….
    
   1.. Choose your family…
   2. marry with guy….
    
   now decision is purely your own….think twice about the result of marriage…if you think you can live happilly with that guys..so there is no problem….after marriage your family will may hate you 4 some time…but with the span of time…everything will goes ok….
    
   wanna know…how..you can chat me..can ask me about my personal experience… rohitsingh197811@ymail.com

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   Answer by rohitsingh78 — May 19, 2010

8. HEY GIRL, LEAVE THIS GUY AND OR MARRY HIM ONLY WITH YOUR PARENTS CONCENT, OTHERWISE YOU WILL BE IN BIG BIG TROUBLE. LOVE GOES AWAY IN FIRST 6 MONTHS OF MARRIAGE AND THEN COMES MONEY AND IF HE DONT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY THEN YOU WILL SUFFER ALL YOUR LIFE AND WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO GO BACK TO YOUR PARENTS IF YOU  MARRY HIM WITHOUT THEIR CONCENT. OR ELSE LEAVE HIM AND GET MARRIED WHERE YOUR PARENTS WILL MARRY YOU AND YOU GET LOVE & RESPECT FROM YOUR HUSBAND CAUSE OF THE MONEY YOUR FAMILY HAS. THIS GUYS PARENTS WILL KEEP BLAMING YOU FOR NOT BRINGING MONEY WITH YOU. BE REALISTIC.

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   Answer by MOFY — May 19, 2010

9. Alright, if you are true and honest as you said then I believe you and I say better consult your mother first before moving on with your decisions. There are certain things in life which only experience teaches you. Who knows she might help you in your confusion/decision. And if she doesn't agree you were suppose to run away anyway.
   These marriage jitters are part of marriage. Even a girl who is having an arrange marriage feels it, as she is going to change her life forever. Ask any of your friends who got married, they might confirm this if you have doubts on this word of mine. And its good. It lets you rethink about the parts you might have not thought of about your future life. And if the guy understands and loves you truly, he will understand your position and your emotions and will support you in all your decisions.
    
   Best of Luck.

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   Answer by Hitesh — May 19, 2010

10. Leave that boy , you are from high class family and you would not be able to survive in middle class family unless you have strong emotion and strength to live with love not money and luxury .

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    Answer by kumar623 — May 19, 2010

11. my story is little bit as same as u .as a boy i ve always loved her and will be loving her whether  she loves me or hates me i dont have any effect,its all up to u how much u love that guy and ur parents.          if i will be in ur position as i love that guy very much as well as my parents.i would have cleared them if i will marry that is only he .and if still they will not be agree to me i would have left my house for ever  but have not married without my parents permission.but i would have loved the guy  till the end of my life.and will wait in the next birth.so,my advice do what u like but dont blame anybody as noone has told u to love that guy .
    

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    Answer by subham — May 19, 2010

12. MY advise "DONT ELOPE"
    As you have mentioned, you have been bought up in a pretty small social group
    so trust me, you have NO idea on how cunning, devious, complex and indifferent men can be
    bloody you don't even have any siblings to help you with advise, no matter how abusive or bad your parents maybe, 
    they KNOW what is best for you and wish for the best for you, you may not like the guy they select, but you can still look on till they find the right person..
    to LOVE is good, but its dangerous to get into a marriage with as lil understanding of the society as you have..
    a bad marriage haunts you for life, so dont do anything without your parents approval, i am into a love marriage and have convinced my parents after 4 years of talks, it brings permanent peace.. dont escape into the belief that your parents will never agree or understand(thats loosers way of thinking), talk with your mom and have a conversation with reasons from both sides.
    if you were my sister i would stop you dead in your tracks.. goodluck..
    and for the record – im a guy

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    Answer by advisewik — May 19, 2010

13.  
    Firstly, are you sure your heart is more inclined toward the love than worry about the caste and financial differences ? Are you okay marrying into a middle class family ?
    Are you sure you will stay by his side no matter what his situation would be, good or bad ? Will you be a good wife ?
    First be sure of your intentions and commitment for him.
    Next,
    Why was he first reluctant to elope ? Because he respects family values or because if you elope, you both could possibly have no right on your father's property ? Have you thought about it ? Remember, while taking major decision, it is not wrong being skeptical, just to be on the safer side. And being skeptical doesn't mean, being suspicious all the time.
    As for finding much love than your parents, you were even ready to marry some stranger. So, it isn't wrong in going for this guy dumping your parents. But don't do the way you have planned to do. Personally, I don't appreciate eloping and hurting even either of the families, unless there is no other option.
    If you have the answers for the questions asked in the beginning and answer is favourable, only then go for this boy. Even if it's against your parents.
    But,
    I suggest you to tell your parents about him. Give a try to convince your parents. Tell them, this is the last time you would ask for something and it is for your own happiness and is very important for your life. Be affirmative. Assure them, they would be glad about your decision in future. Beg them, if necessary. They are your parents after all. Don't be scared at all. You have the guts enough to elope, you sure have the guts to tell your parents. If this doesn't work. If they emotionally blackmail you despite all your reasoning, please go away with your boyfriend.
    Tell the boy to come and pick you up from your home and not be a coward. Don't run away and add fire to insult to your parents. Walk out of house in full view of parents, bravely and not run like thieves. Don't elope or the boy could be in trouble.
    Think about all these, and quickly. Involve your boyfriend's physical presence in every move of yours even that you take within your house.
    But please remember, TELL YOUR PARENTS ABOUT IT. At least they will be content that their daughter, despite all the hardships, didn't do anything behind their backs.
    Regards and Best Wishes,
    AJ.
     
    PS : Do tell all of us here, whatever decision you take. Thanks.

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    Answer by Aj — May 19, 2010

14. Dear! Even i have faced similar situation in my life and it was late when i understood that you always over value your first love. Indian society still now haven't grown to a stage they can overlook beyond caste, creed and other taboos of our society. Trust men now you'll feel his love is the only true life you will find in your life but it is not so. 
    Tell him your reasons and tell him to convince your parents if he want to get married with you. If his love for you is as strong as your love for him at least he will make an attempt for that. You are willing to let down your parents for your love blindly?  That is not fair from your part. 
    So listen to me, tell you love that you will marry who ever your parents find ok! So ask him if he is interested in marrying you convince your parents. If he is  not willing to do that then that means he doesn't love you sincerely. Leave him then. So first confess everything to your parents if they find him ok then good, you can marry otherwise i am sure your parents will find someone worthy for you for your entire life. 
    And from my experience i learned "love you receive before marriage is a love marriage is not the same as you receive after the marriage and love you receive after an arranged marriage is more than both the above "

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    Answer by anonymous — May 19, 2010

15.  
    Can you please find out the data of love marriages happen in India, I remember one thing all love after few times of marriage gone break. Only few love marriages came to success.
    Your parents slaps you for your better carrier not for dark carrier , they loves you that’s why they slaps you  let me give you some difference in middle class and in upper rich class
    1)  Community
    Your family background is good and your boyfriend background is middle class remember one thing you have to do all work which you have never did in your whole life
    a)   You have to make breakfast + launch + dinner not only for your hubby but also for your hubby whole family
    b)  You have do limited shopping as per your hubby salary never like as per your present
    c)   You have to do wiping in your hubby house
    d)  You dress choices also decreases as per present value
    So it whole about community
     
    2)  Culture
    You have to adapt all culture of their family
     
     
     
     
    3)  Understanding and responsibility
    It is also a main part if after marriage   you are not able to understanding their family then it would also a bigger problem for you my dear
     
    4)  Family expectations
    Their family expectations is also increases after marriage of their own son like groom should have taken all responsibilities
     
     
    Remember these then elope with your boy friend but do some research on love marriage data.
     
    Don’t elope otherwise you would be ruined your whole life
    Think if this boy gave you divorce or live you ,or any problem come in future like he have any extra affair then what you should do at that time where did you complaint for this if your parent is not with you
                                                                  Parents always a backbone for a girl after marriage remember this word then elope with your shorter love  
    So don’t elope my dear otherwise you ruined your  whole life Parents beaten you for your better future   
    they never want you to repeat  that mistake which they already did in their life and how did trust on anybody with in shorter frame work of life why you dont trust on your mummy papa who ruined their  whole life for your better future  
     
       

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    Answer by yaten — May 19, 2010

16. Just close ur eyes and try to listen to what ur heart says.See, we all have a single life and  the time period in this life is very very limited.So, its our responsibility and the right to live happily in this limited life. I will suggest u to go for ur love without thinking much.If ur parents really love u more than their ego then definately  they will accept u along with ur partner. So dont worry dear. Its very tough to get someone in ur life who truly loves u. And u r really lucky. So all the best.

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    Answer by Rudra — May 19, 2010

17. tk ur tym.if he loves u tll him to approach ur parents with a proposal.dont run away.he may tk u smwhern then demand cash frm ur parents.

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    Answer by meenakshi — May 19, 2010

18. before anything else, i want to know one thing ,u r from a rich family  but have u or your mom ever been happy with your father?big question is that money is everything u need to keep yourself happy specially in case of a person who was deprived of love and affection  all her life but who never felt short of money.secondly if the guy is genuine and having good propect in future life in his career then does it really matter now how rish he is?even he can earn a lot in future. if u both are in love  then as a couple u both have  a resposibility to support each other in all circumtances be it good or bad.your parents does not seem to have any respect for your feelings .now what if they force u to marry  someone like your father?choice is all yours. u have to decide what is more important for u right now?money or love.
     

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    Answer by barigadbad — May 19, 2010

19. My advise would be NEVER ELOPE. It is the most foolish thing on the part of girls these days and it is a trend going on. Remember the girl is viewed as the IZZAT of a family meaning thereby that the status of a family depends on their girls.If a girl elopes than the family loses respect and reputition in the society and every other person gets reason to pass comments and taunts on the girls family. If your parents didnt cared for you whole of their life or your mother still slaps you DOESNT gives you the right to run away with a guy.If your parents failed to perform their duty towards you than you did not get a licence to disrespect them. you are doing the same thing.Come on they gave birth to you ,brought you up ,gave you good education ,good clothings ,money ,status etc. Now what else do you want from them?…..MOON ? So dont even try to act foolish. The love marriages does not last for long these days and it will be very difficuilt for you to adjust in his family due to difference in financial status. The girls now a days doesnt seem to think about their future while falling in love these days and then they REGRET afterwards. What is the use of learning from owns mistakes. So i will advise you never let your parents down. It is possible that the guy with whom you intend to marry purposefully did friendship with you knowing your financial position. Do you know enough of him and his family? How will he maintain you after marriage and what is his future planning.,If you still want to go ahead then first tell your mom everything and tell this guy to talk with your parents and both of you try to convince them as far as possible. I am sure they will not agree at once but you both hav time and sincere efforts always bear fruits. gdssandhu@yahoo.co.in

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    Answer by G.S.Sandhu — May 19, 2010

20. Okay let me break this down for you into 2 basic points…
    Point  1: 15 days and this guy proposes to you?? Are you sure he loves YOU and not your money?? Because im convinced he isnt. Guys are known to do stuff like this and marry into rich families… maybe you're too naive to realise he is just after your money or maybe he really loves you. Think your relationship as an outsider… how things went ahead and then decide.
     
    Point 2: Eloping is always a bad choice… no matter how your parents behave towards you, leaving home and starting over is extremely hard. You can think "atleast my husband loves me" but guess what you cant survive on so called 'love' You cant buy food from love neither can you pay your bills using love… you need money for all those things. Give your parents a choice, they might realise how much you love him and accept him into their family. Starting out alone can be a bitch…
     
    In the end I hope you make the right choice… first about realising if your boyfriend actually loves you or not and then about eloping… Good Luck and god bless.

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    Answer by Reality check! — May 19, 2010

21. Oh and meenakshi has a REALLY good point… I wonder why she has a -1 on her post… You dont know if the guy might start abusing you and asking your parents for money!

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    Answer by Reality check! — May 19, 2010

22.  
    dear money dsnt matters in life as LOVE
    
    
    nvr loose Love jst for money n minor adjustments
    
    
    face every problem but maintian ur love 
    
    
    coz LOVE IS GOD

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    Answer by xxxdecentguy — May 19, 2010

23. If this is not fake, then you guys should get married if you really love him and after that you can sell your story to ekta kapoor. That would probably save you from a middle class life

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    Answer by big jay — May 19, 2010

24. he  loves ur money not u after marriage u will understand that

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    Answer by ganesh — May 19, 2010

25. Love…Love is a mix of emotions, hormones and feelings towards another person. We all love our parents but do we think twice before we decide to love someone else?Our parents have bought us up from scratch, and during their life span they made money,respect and made a position for themselves in society and now we are part of that society.
    
    People will talk, they always do even if it is good or bad but that is how us humans are, we always chatting behind someone's back without realising what we are saying, and if you start thinking about what will the society say then I don't think you are capable of "elopping" with that guy because you will always feel scared when you walk out on the street and someone see's you and starts spreading the word around about you running away with a middle class family and then you will feel unsecure and have petty arguments which will turn to some serious arguments and then a "link" in your relationship with your husband will be broken and then your love for him will change into hatred slowly due to your anger.
    
    Now eloping with that guy can give you happiness then do it, but remember you can always fight for your right to marry this guy with your parents I mean if you can't live without him and he means the world to you don't be scared if they kill you, because your were going to die even if you don't marry him and get married with another guy. I'l be honest how long has your relationship been with this guy? Im 25 and I have been with my gf for over 5 years, I have a problem of my own and it was a mistake of my life and I am still regretting it. My gf is getting married to someone else because in anger i told her to move on with her life and didn't fight for my love because of my ego coming in the way but now she is getting engaged very very soon I am fighting for it till my death bed only because after breaking up with her I realised how much she meant to me, she is my life and I cannot give my life to someone else.. Sometimes you have to be selfish and think about yourlself and not your parents because its you two who are going to be sharing the bed, the vows, the commitment and the happiness and sorrowness of your lives not your parents..
    
    No one in this world or on this site can tell you what is right and what is wrong for you, we only can advise you but its you who will be living with this guy not us, it will be you who will be going through this time of hardship not us, and it is ONLY YOU to decide if this guy is the right person who can love you and take care of you for the rest of your marriage life.
    
    P.S If you truly love this person then you will know if he is right or wrong for you and how much happiness he can give you..
    
    I wish you the very best on your decision, but remember it is all about YOU!!!
    
    take care x
    

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    Answer by Raz — May 19, 2010

26. hi .., dear
    i have one question for u .., when u cant judge your love , than how u expect from us . its your love and only u have to decide . however  i have a sugestion , n its really upto you whether u like it or not  .., do u think arranged marriage is bad idea , however not bcoz there are many good people in earth than your lover , and they will also love u more than him  , but its not about them its about u . do u think u will keep anyone happy ? coz when u r so insecure with your lover , then how will u be ever be secure with any other guy ,money gives what u want but not what u need , people talk coz they got mouth to speak , live for u for your loved one's  , love can make anything happen and one more thing nothing worthwhile comes easy in life //
    All the best 

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    Answer by 73 — May 19, 2010

27. Hi
    Well come to the point….If u loves him….try to adjust financially or if u can't leave with out money or enjoyment u can marry ur parents choosed person and enjoy with old memories DARLING.
     
    BUT REAL LOVE IS ALWAYS REAL LOVE……….

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    Answer by SAMBASIVA — May 19, 2010

28. well sharman Joshi you are a classic case of a confused girl.
    remember the old addage love is Blind and marriage is an eye opener. let this not happen in your case also look into the fact of whether he loved u or the fact that you are the only daughter of a resonably well to do family. and all of that would finally be yours.
    if it already pricking you that he is from middle class family whereas u come from a very financially strong background. U may not even be in love then you are thinking about it seriously. it just seems that because u feel that u were never loved by your parents and u got some one to love you you are emotionally attached to him. This is not love. Love is a much stronger feeling.
     
    I suggest you inform you parents that you want to get married and let them find a suitable groom for you and you wil get your share of love from your husband to be.

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    Answer by Rajesh007 — May 19, 2010

29. Hi There!

    Based on your writings, i understand that you have an issue with the family in terms of sharing the love. There is a reason why your mom asking you to get married with someone soon, she may feels that your life shoud be safer and to get rid of this problem she is facing,

    Having said that you don't get much caring or love from your family members, you'll always look out for the person who can hear your problems and constarins but it can't be a love. Love should come when you are living normal life and regular thoughts at least to judge the person well.

    Just for seeking peace in your life, you can't find a person to make it better in a short time. Though your parents not showing much love, they will worry if you have some problem. My suggestion is, if you know that person well and if you feel his love is true then you can talk to your parents and get accent.

    Emotional decision will not help you out. Once get married to someone you need to accept it either good or bad. Think twice before making decision.  Authentic love will survive else it will kill you badly  than your family problems.

    Thanks,

    Magesh

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    Answer by Magesh — May 20, 2010

30. Ur so CHEAP!! U know very well that ur family will not let u live ur life as u want to. U have someone who u know would support u in every move. His parents are good are they are accepting u more like their daughther than a bahu. I DONT UNDERSTAND WHATS MAKING U THINK OF STEPPING BACK? MONEY? LUXURY? UR PARENTS WHO DONT EVEN CARE OR SUPPORT U?
    I think u'll be 1000 times happier if u get married to the guy u love than getting married as per ur parents wish to some RICH, FAT, NRI OR SOME OTHER ASSHOLE ON EARTH. This is the MOST important decision in ur life and any mistake will RUIN ur life….
    All the BEST you LOOSER (Sorry, BRAINLESS LOOSER)
    I am not sorry to be abusive, but u deserve it ….

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    Answer by Neeraj — May 20, 2010

31. Hi honey… Its your life, decide on your own. We people here do hear oneside of the story, the other remain unheard.
    Your situation is a bit filmy like Ek Duje ke Liye, yet I believe you, its a genuine case.
    My findings are
    You want to break free
    You want to love someone at your wish, not being directed.
    You are confused between your parents love and a guy’s love.
    Now listen darling. There is every reason for your parents to be possessive as you are only child. I am father of 9 yr old angel, I know how possessive we are. Thats not intentional, thats sponteneous caring for the child.
    You want to break free from this suffocation of being loved, once you break free, you wont love that either.
    Someone propose in short term, the guy has done a good homework on checking your family. Love at first sight happens in books, now a days it happens to single rich girl. He is after the money you will repent later.
    Family value, ritual, culture, you wont feel a difference. Soon you will when its too late.
    Dont forget the shock your parent will go through, how would you react?
    Again, its your choice, if you have no doubt at all on youe love, better to go throgh formal way. Truly, I havt seen any couple is having a real good time who eloped. Life is too long to pass everyday, dont take a quick decision and repent later, parents well wish is required for real reason.
    My vote is listen to your parents, once you get ,arried, you will get free of all rules.
    Keep posted.

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    Answer by Oye … — May 20, 2010

32. Stay with Parents and you will get better options. Never get married to a poor guy. If there is any problem then u have to come back to ur parents. They took care of u all of ur life. love will come and go but always choose the mind and heart goes unambiguous and no problem love. and u have to wait for that. finally after some time only love means noting in a relation. just observe ur parents and that is life.

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    Answer by StratMind — May 20, 2010

33.  Hi , ….
           I've been through all your mail and one thing i noticed is you love him and he loves you this is what you told but think one thing you told you are from a very strong financial background .now a dayz the situation prevailing is so vile that people are after money than relations
         there is a possibility he may be faking …also if we think what we assumed is wrong and the boy is good ..do you know about his parents …..also this is one area we meed to think of…
       another one ..i saw you wrote some where your parents like you too much but failed to show it …is that right ?
      if at all you think this way i think ur parents had done a good impression on you about their love towards you …..either you understand it …..After the marriage or any time the parents are the only people who stand beside you at  any times …..the best thing in my opinion is tell  your parents about him and convince them …if you cant do that i dont think even though you people elope and get married ..if even a simple problem comes you cannt jst take it …..think of it again….
    
    
      MY SUGGESTION IS CONVINCE YOUR PARENTS ……

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    Answer by Arun — May 20, 2010

34. tell me friend now u have all ur money and u r with ur family r u realy happy with this , wat is use u have lot of money and no1 to love and care , u cant b happy with the 1 ur family shows ,,,, god has given a true love to u so dont think anything als just go a head ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i promise u u will never cry again in ur life

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    Answer by sachin — May 20, 2010

35. Hey dear……
    your story is same as mine…. becauz m face this problem currently. If you realy love that person so you have to accept that one any how.. See mom dad always makes try to see you a happy… you sholud tell your dad that what he wolud like your happies or not…. you have to realise to your dad that the guy you love, he is realy nice & well cultured even well satled person..
    Look dear, this onece is my personal advice to you that watever you want to do but just informed to your love first…. becauz might be he could do any thing without you…. If you need my help then you should contect me on my Email id. patel_viren18@yahoo.com
    Now it depends on you that what you have to like….
    God bless you & Your Famly,
    Viren Patel

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    Answer by Viren Patel — May 20, 2010

36. I agree with "M". The final decision will be up-to you and the person you love. Let me tell you two incidents from my life – 1st one of my parents and 2nd one of my cousin.

    My parents had a love marriage. The marriage was inter-religious and they married against the will of both the families. It was not a rosy picture for my parents because of the so-called "aate daal ka bhav". But they never lost their love and inter-dependency. They never gave up. Long story short, my father died at the age of 60 in the year 2004 and my mother is still in depression due to the loss. People say time is the biggest healer. Yeah right! It failed miserably with my mother.
    Now, if you share similar intensity and love with the guy you love and have the confidence that you two will stay together even in hell then marry him. Like I said, the decision is for you to make.

    My cousin married this guy against her families will. She has a kid now. However, the marriage lasted for 4 years and ended in divorce. Some of the reasons already mentioned in the above comments. Whatever reason it was, my point is that they found out that the marriage was a mistake.
    Now, if you see yourself heading towards similar situation in the future once the marital bliss wears off, don't go for marriage. Once again, it is for you to make the decision.

    Best of luck.

    PS- I purposefully didn't comment on your parents' would be situation (provided you marry your guy) because, from your question, I presume your family will be against the marriage based on class, social status, caste, etc. which is ridiculous and irrational. Sorry to say, but if these are the reasons, then for me they may go to hell. We are in 21st century where a cell phone is slowly getting integrated with a computer. You don't even need a TV to watch IPL 3 anymore. But, we Indians still have the time to object to caste, religion, etc. and we Indians will still cast our "precious" vote depending on pork and beef. Shame on us.

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    Answer by Anonymous — May 20, 2010

37. Girl!!!!!! With what you have just told abt ur self it sounds like he was the only guy friend  u ever had or met….. In today's world its hard to trust people….. You say u hate ur parents and again u say that u are concerned abt them…..
    
     
    Well long story short….. You shouldn't marry this guy
    
     
    a) Bcoz he may have limited funds, he would have the responsibilty of his own parents & younger sibblings if any….may not be able to buy & give you all you want…. which for you may be just be regular basic stuff like cosmetics (coz u r in rich family now) it would make him think 10 times to buy it for u. And believe me a when i say this, its very difficult for people with high class to adjust with middle class family bcoz of their life style…. best example would be as simple as things you choose to eat in Breakfast– lunch or Dinner.
    
     
     
    b) Thinks may be all gr8 & special intially but this this will fade away by time too…..Every thing does…. just like chewing gum's sweet taste….
    
    
    If he was rich & you from a middle class then may be he could give you the freedom, happiness & etc etc goodie goodie stuff.
    
     
    You should actually have seen or noticed and learnt from ur mom itself, was she happy in her married life…. she had a rich husband…..
    
    
    I can say all this bcoz i myself am from a middle class family & i spend almost 14 hrs very day in office, y? bcoz i have a family that is depended on me. And then is my marriage also… We all marry only 1s….well most of us marry only 1s ….. (Modern days)
    
    
    
    Well my suggestion ultimately is choose yourself a rich guy from the long list of rich guys your parents choose for u…. judge him well b4 u decide to go along…. Shouldn't turn out that ur huddy & dad had some thing in common….(Love for Booze)
     
    Girl every thing will change for u after your 1st night….. And then every thing will again change after ur self will become a MOMMY…… Not scaring you….. but that is reality and a truth of every woman of very class of society.
    
    
    
    Hey!!!! did u say u are studying yet…. ur in college yet…… Oyee!!!!!! All these things after your basic education (Graducation minimum)…..In this case don't even listen to ur parents…… Other wise be it middle class or ur own class of guy…. they always will have some thing to blame you for if you act sometime moody or irritated.
    
     
    All the best…..And yes, b4 i forget….. Please tell ur boyfriend that ur sorry u cannot marry him….. specially his parents……
    
    
    
    And if yet YEAH DIL HAI KE MAANTHA NAI then also all the best ……..
    
    
    
    AAL IIS WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    

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    Answer by Ishq Kamina — May 20, 2010

38. i dont know why girls are like this.
    dear, why before accpting the boy u haven't think over these fuking things?? 
    now,am sure that boy is already in lv wiz u.
    i have gone thew this,i knw the pain,that the boy will have.
    this message is for all gurls wiz short mines,think well before entering a relation

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    Answer by kinglo — May 30, 2010

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