Hi Anjali Aunty,

I have been reading your advices for various people on various incidents. But I never dreamt that I would one day post you with my problem. I am completely lost and broken down thinking about my issue. Please help me with the best of your advices.

I have a girlfriend and we have been in a relation for almost 5 years now. Initially I never had sex with her thinking we have to be an ideal couple. But 18 months back I got an opportunity to go to US on my project work. Before going I turned kinky and asked my girlfriend for some sex which she accepted without saying no. We had it for 8 times in 12 days.

After going to US, I used to chat with her and she used to skip sex topics saying she would be interested if I was beside her. Before leaving to US I knew a guy in her office who used to flirt with her a lot. When I was gone she grew very close to him. Many times she used to tell me that they have been hanging out to movies and restaurants all alone. But I never stopped her because I believed in her. She grew so close to him that she starting hanging up my call when he calls. I also observed that she started giving him a lot of priority than she does to me or even her parents.

When I asked her about that she just said he's her best friend and grew very angry on me. With sources in her office, I came to know that they have turned very close and rumours of having a sexual affair were prevailing. Now I am back and I see that her figure has changed a lot. She is no more that hot as she used to be. Her firm breasts have turned a lot saggy and she has a layer of fat on her belly and ass. I even found a scar on her boob which she says is because of a pin in her blouse. But I feel its a nail mark. There was no change in her diet or regular activities and she says she rarely masturbated. Is the change in her body stats because she has been sleeping with him? Does a girl's body really shape out after having sex regularly? I don't want to ask her directly because if what I am thinking is wrong then I would surely miss her.

How do I get to know what happened when I was gone? I love her a lot and brought lots of gifts for her from US. But, I also don't want to get along with a girl who cheated on me. Please help me how I can solve this problem out.

(1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
You need to be a registered member to rate this question.

 Loading ...

29 Answers »

1. If you are so interested in finding out whether shes been cheating behind your back, first confront her directly. If she denies it and you still feel that she is indeed having an affiar, then why not go for something like emotional atyachar that comes on UTV Bindaas? I am sure that they would be able to find out the truth for you. And are you pure? Have you never ever cheated her??

   Rate this answer » Good / Bad
   Current Rating: -15

   Answer by lonelyguy_00 — March 2, 2010

2. Body change can be a factor of so many things. You can't directly correlate it to regular sex. If you have doubts in a relationship then it is as almost over with you and her. Confront her directly and get it over with. There is no magic way to tell if someone is cheating on you buddy.

   Rate this answer » Good / Bad
   Current Rating: +4

   Answer by sivamdavid — March 2, 2010

3. In India…If girlfriend is loyal and true She would never hangout with other person…This story seems to be on the same track what you are thinking….I think forget about her…restart your life…you will get thousands of girlfriends…get rid of her…she doesn't seem to be loyal……..rest upto you buddy…this is what i thought!

   Rate this answer » Good / Bad
   Current Rating: +40

   Answer by decentboy — March 2, 2010

4. if you want to know that ur girlfriend is loyal or not there is a tv show known as emotional atayachar contact them and see bindass channel, how they solve your problem at 7pm on friday…

   Rate this answer » Good / Bad
   Current Rating: -6

   Answer by him221989 — March 2, 2010

5. Look bro do u think still she loves u
   if yes then this suggestion can work……………….
   try to stay away from her if she tries to come near to, or try to figure out y u loosing interest in her, then try to give her lots of love dont even try to ask what happened if u really love her accept her as she is take it as a fresh start, and if she dont come then u can understand days of ur love are over she is his now can be due to anything…………………..
   hope this thing work coz its completely the situation i faced only difference is i never went out of country but i was really busy with my newly started business but now once again i can trust her

   Rate this answer » Good / Bad
   Current Rating: +31

   Answer by vikas.sharma24 — March 2, 2010

6. Dear Frd,
   Yaa it's a real tough time for u & this situation happens with many guys like u. Here first be clear what u want :
   1.  u will continue relationship with her if u know for sure that she had sex with her frd. if yes then don't try to open the pandora box.
   2. if not then apply some trick to find out like changing the mobile of her frd with urs & then sms some hard core sex msg & see the reply. it will confirm.

   Rate this answer » Good / Bad
   Current Rating: 0

   Answer by xyz — March 2, 2010

7. Dear Frd,
   Yaa it's a real tough time for u & this situation happens with many guys like u. Here first be clear what u want :
   1.  u will continue relationship with her if u know for sure that she had sex with her frd. if yes then don't try to open the pandora box.
   2. if not then apply some trick to find out like changing the mobile  no. (name) of her frd with urs & then sms some hard core sex msg & see the reply. it will confirm.

   Rate this answer » Good / Bad
   Current Rating: +1

   Answer by xyz — March 2, 2010

8. don't be a fool to go in public

   Rate this answer » Good / Bad
   Current Rating: -1

   Answer by xyz — March 2, 2010

9. Dear Chotu,
    
   The first thing I would like to suggest is to relax for a while.Trust is one of the vital part of a relatonship. It is only the great faith that can keeps people together.
   I dont want you to decide anything based on your doubts. You never mentioned that you have ever talked with your girl about it instead you are simply listening to your sources from her office. You know how gossips spreads in our society! Forget what people are saying from her office. The first thing you should do is to find the facts. It will certainly help you to decide what to do. The mission starts with releasing out the pre-assumptions that you have in your mind. Next step would be to talk wiht your girl that you are not comfortable with the friendship she is having with her friend. Anways you ahve nothign to lose as you ahve already set your mind that you are going to leave her if she has cheated on you.
   Regarding bodily chnages in your girl, it could be because of other factors as well. The main reason could be becuase your head is full of doubts. I wonder if you really measured her size before you left and after you arrived. Kindly stop assuming and try to find the facts by talking to her.
    
   Regards
    

   Rate this answer » Good / Bad
   Current Rating: 0

   Answer by ding — March 2, 2010

10. relation lives on trust, and we judge everything based on our perseption. the most important is whether you love and need her or not. love without trust is not love may be something else. as you have said that you are also worried that you may lose her, it means she is important to you. figures of any human may change over time, havving sex in this regard is not neccessary. the girl or lady we are thaking about is best known to you, as you are in a relation since last 5 years. the best solution is ask it to your ownself that how far she can go. if you cannot conclude, the best is to get rid of her as you simply cannot live rest of your life with a person whom you just dont trust.
     

    Rate this answer » Good / Bad
    Current Rating: 0

    Answer by king2lions — March 2, 2010

11. Mr Chotu,
     
    You are in a real mess dude! The fact is that you will never be able to breathe easy as long as you do not find out the truth.
     
    You need it the most; knowing what happened. Without that i don't see you progressing.
     
    You might want to try out a few tricks so confirm whether they had sex. You already know that the guy flirted with her. What you don't know is whether your supposed love responded positively to him.
     
    The Blouse Pin Truth-  If breast is injured with a blouse pin, the injury will always be a simple pointed one types. It wont spread out un-uniformly. It will pointed, rounded, and will never leave a scar; will heal quickly.
     
    Female Body Changes–
     
    i dont think female breasts start sagging just because she is having sex, and that too in a year and half. Look around, there are hundreds of women that have regular sex with NO EFFECTS on their bodies.
     
    Particularly, you mentioned that she hasnt changed her diet routine and activities.
     
    As far as i know, one of the MOST common reasons for breast rigidity to alter, is pregnancy.
    Due to pregnancy breasts can sag under hormonal influence and body will get plump and flabby too. (in most cases)
     
    Moreover, these changes can happen even if pregnancy is NOT continued to term, and abort, for instance, within a month.
     
    The OTHER important change that will happen, is that the the area AROUND the nipples (areola) will "siginificantly" darken, and will also increase in circumference. 
    The change in nipple and areola is something that one can't miss.
     
    Look for these changes first, when you are with your girl; you surely do remember what her nipples look like when you left for US.
     
     
    **Before trying out any other tricks i think the above findings should be checked for and if they are positive, POST another question; how to coax the truth out of her. that will be simple.
     
     
    Very,
     
    False

    Rate this answer » Good / Bad
    Current Rating: +14

    Answer by False — March 2, 2010

12. go and ask her directly…..dont keep any thing in your heart…if u  r loosing trust on her this is wright time.if u delay now.u will face so many problems after marriage….that will not good for u and ur career and ur family

    Rate this answer » Good / Bad
    Current Rating: +1

    Answer by chiranjeevi — March 2, 2010

13. heya chotu,

                  I am sorry friend but you do not deserve a relationship at all….. how can you bleave others about your girlfriend.. mate you have a 5 long years of relationship and still you trust other people than your girlfriend.. sorry but its disgusting….. yaar she was alone and needed a friend to be with and that might be the reason she was going for movies and resturants with her friend but this does not mean that she is cheating you…
    and what had you said about her body changes…?????
    which school were you in?? actually i am saying this because i have never heard or learned about such changes at all if you have sex… if you had learnt something like this than please let me know about the source..
            friend give yourself a break…. and think logically if she is having another affair than why did she not kick your ass…
    listen to me and listen it very carefully…. trust is the essential ingredient of a relationship and if it lacks there is no taste only wastage of efforts…. and always remember "kuch to log kahenge, logo ka kaam hai kahna.."
       please don't take a dicision based on others saying and if you have an doubts than please don't try any trick or else, there should be enough understanding between you as you have spend 5 years dreaming of you guys… so just go straight forward and just say that you are feeling insecure because of her friend… i hope she would understand….

    Rate this answer » Good / Bad
    Current Rating: -8

    Answer by sam003 — March 2, 2010

14. dude i think she is at fault….but u too r at fault for leaving her…i think she became sex starved after u left…..just confront her and ask her…..emotional atyachaar is also good…..u may go for it…..but if she really cheated u..teach her a lesson such that she will never cheat any1 in her life again

    Rate this answer » Good / Bad
    Current Rating: +5

    Answer by rakesh100 — March 2, 2010

15. 
    One line caught my eyes, "I also don't want to get along with a girl who cheated on me".

    Now, first thing first, trust is the base of all relationship.  She seems severely lacks in having patience for you, and you severely lacks in trust on her.  This couple doesnot have any future.  If she was cheating, she wont stop cheating.  And if you cant have trust now, you will keep on having this mistrust.

    The relationship seems like having more than just a scar or boobs, its not in order anymore. 

    While saying that, I have to repeat you dont have a future together anymore.  You have decided what you will be doing, if she has cheated- not to continue, if hasnot- continue.  When your choices are binary, no point asking us how to find she has cheated or not, when you lack the balls to ask her upfront.

    We are not in your shoe, which is extremely emotional right now.  We cant and shouldnot suggest anything, your your call, take your own call.  Just keep two things in mind before you decide-

    1. you had a long term relationship, should it go away for some quality fuck in your absence?  If she is back with all grace, wont you think about a second chance?

    2. On what ground can you claim so much out of her?  She is not your legal wife, she can sleep with anyone as much as you could sleep with anyone.  Without a legal bond, you cant ask for a divorce when you are not married.

    Go on with your life, sooner you decide, the better.

    Rate this answer » Good / Bad
    Current Rating: +7

    Answer by Oye … — March 2, 2010

16. dost tum ne to 5 saal tak kuch bhee nahi kiya lekin main to 5 sal tak bahut kuch karne ke bawajood or duniya ki har ek kushi di.but now since 1 year she has rejecting me b\c of her new b\f she is not attending my calls and she has changed her mobile number this is my good luck that i got her new no: still she is rejecting my calls but yaar still i m waiting for her and i hope she will be back in my life again.wo thure time ke lie bhatak gaye hai lekin wo zaroor aye gi.

    kabhee baad aye to us main terna nahi chahiye kinare pe beth kar intzar karna chaye.

    Rate this answer » Good / Bad
    Current Rating: -6

    Answer by sachin — March 2, 2010

17. hi boss……..
    i can understand your situation .  First ,with girls u cant find what is in their heart or mind.
    BUT IF U REALLY LOVE HER AND DONT WANT TO GET CHEATED ….TRY THIS…….
    For one or two weeks dont be so close to her(try not to talk to her as usual) . watch her and his activities yourself or by someone for u
    u will find two answers
    1.if she hangs out with u asking" whats wrong ……….. why no reply.."
    "u are not like 3 months back….whats happening to u….""tell me …..i always love u…….""i need u….."
    and all thest kind of stuff. Accept her and always keep an eye on her..and him too…
    2.if she move towards that guy …and does not care about u…….leave that fucking bitch..u can find somereal love 
    and dont worry for her moving towards him because ..and finally dont blame yourself for everything
    .if not now she will do it later…thank god that u noticed it  at earlier stage itself….

    Rate this answer » Good / Bad
    Current Rating: +4

    Answer by barry — March 2, 2010

18. hey guys
     
    rather than focusing on what this guy should do with his relationship, can we have more suggestions as to HOW to find out if she cheated on him?

    Rate this answer » Good / Bad
    Current Rating: -2

    Answer by False — March 2, 2010

19.  
    kuch mat karo yaraa  bus suk her pussy

    Rate this answer » Good / Bad
    Current Rating: -5

    Answer by shazia naaz — March 2, 2010

20. @ False, there are 100s of active participants with different views. Reading and writing for long, people seems to become an expert on Opinion and Advice here.
    Its true, rather than posting comments, people are supposed to reply, but what to do brother, Opinion is like Asshole, evertone has one!
    The guy wants to know how to know if she was cheating so that he can get rid of a cheater. And we the half witted common people are going one step ahead, suggesting what to do with his relationship. Thats what our asshole, sorry opinion is, which was uncalled for.
    Anyway, I dont care much about evidence or proof, I guess most of us tends to listen to what our heart says, if heart says she is the one- no proof will stand. If heart says she is not the one- no proof is required.
    So if you want proof, all I can say, call CID, let ACP Pradyuman and Dr. Salunke to solve.

    Rate this answer » Good / Bad
    Current Rating: -5

    Answer by Oye … — March 3, 2010

21. hey bro!! don't worry n think positive abt her the best way i would suggest to find out the truth is to gift her a high end mobile say nokia touch screen which supports high end software and get the mobile phone loaded with a spy software which u can get in market quit easily. the software would store every call log nos n duration with complete masseges sent and recvd in a hidden folder which she can't even thnk of those informations will not be deleted even it is done on the mobile manually and best part is one day just ask for the memory card with some accuse and take it to shop n know wht is going ….. i hope if u can visit u.s then atleast u  can spend  12000-14000 bucks for your love.. if she is cheating u the trap is perfect dear trust me on tis !

    Rate this answer » Good / Bad
    Current Rating: -3

    Answer by sumit.devil — March 3, 2010

22. hey bro!! don't worry n think positive abt her the best way i would suggest to find out the truth is to gift her a high end mobile say nokia touch screen which supports high end software and get the mobile phone loaded with a spy software which u can get in market quit easily. the software would store every call log nos n duration with complete masseges sent and recvd in a hidden folder which she can't even thnk of those informations will not be deleted even it is done on the mobile manually and best part is one day just ask for the memory card with some accuse and take it to shop n know wht is going ….. i hope if u can visit u.s then atleast u  can spend  12000-14000 bucks for your love.. if she is cheating u the trap is perfect dear trust me on tis !

    Rate this answer » Good / Bad
    Current Rating: -3

    Answer by sumit.devil — March 3, 2010

23. Boss stop listning to all these answers you wil get mad ok.be positive and be cleavr.just take her for a medical check up by teling something to her.so that your doubt wil be clarifide.i think this was the best idea.and aftr its all upto u .

    Rate this answer » Good / Bad
    Current Rating: -2

    Answer by rohit — March 3, 2010

24. At last…..If you had noticed that How beautifully Anjali aunty has associated the Picture with your Question, You would had understood the Answer Yourself….I again say "Separation is much better than quarral, burden, & Suspicion.

    Rate this answer » Good / Bad
    Current Rating: 0

    Answer by decentboy — March 3, 2010

25. Hey Dude,
    Get over with it, she no longer is a trustworthy person who can be trusted an loved. Any relationship needs trust otherwise it does last long.
    Who knows she cheated on u only after u gone to US, may be she was involved with the office guy while u were around.
    No good girl hangs out with her best frend who ever he may be in the absence of her Boy Frend.
    The scar is not just on her boobs, but on u r relationship,its better to avoid her and call ur self quite and done, than to ask her and know the truth from her. I dont think she will confess about cheating on ur back.
    Even if she tells the truth, what will u do, will u accept her, forgiving her and expect her to be faithful to U, U may still do it, but she wont be faithful to U.
    there is no reason for u to confront her, just avoid her and decide that ur done with her and she is not worth u r love.
    If u still wanna continue u r relationship with her, U'll mess up u r life for no reason of urs. Its better to be safe than sorry.
    About the "gifts" that u bought from US, keep them safe for u r next Gf or give them to ur sisters or some good frends.
    Have A Nice One!!!
    Chandhu_Boy

    Rate this answer » Good / Bad
    Current Rating: -1

    Answer by chandhu_Boy — March 3, 2010

26. First comment for Sachin..one of the commentors who is still waiting for his gf to come back… Maan lo meri  baat…she is not going to come..
    And other thing…Chotu…ask the gal directly…tell her all the reasons you find disturbing abt her behaviour
     

    Rate this answer » Good / Bad
    Current Rating: -2

    Answer by Prem — March 3, 2010

27. You know her better than anybody else.. Trust/belief once lost meanS you are already done with this relationship… It's your call anyways and you can be the only best judge.
    Analyse below 2 points (maybe to console yourself for whatever decision you take)
    1) Physical changes do not prove that she's betrayed you. Various factors affect changes in body that too 18 months is a long time w.r.t female body.
    2) Do you believe what people have to say bout her relationship with the other guy? Off course, you knowing her mindset., can co-relate lotza things and conclude actual facts..
    3) Carrying on this relationship with benefit of doubt., may not be good idea and believe me you can never be happy bout it..
    Make a mature decision basis your like/dislikes..

    Rate this answer » Good / Bad
    Current Rating: -1

    Answer by rockyjasmine — March 3, 2010

28.  
    oh common boy.just think that if she is talking to u that she is going with him alone then u can imagin that lots of thing are happening.she could not not hide her excitement so she tell u some points .she can not tell u everything ,u know.if she love u truly then there is no case of going outside with other.and remember 1 thing that girl like flurty type guys more specialy for sex.leave her.if u want to b happy in life then never fall in love u will b sad for short time and b always happy.and try to b flurty then u will also enjoy others gf.what will go of ur father 2 b in flurty

    Rate this answer » Good / Bad
    Current Rating: +1

    Answer by nishaaaa — March 6, 2010

29. Look Man . The only thing that matters in dis is That u really Love her or not .
    Just think for once . If she has not been cheating on u . Then u r definetely cheating her By doubting her intentions. The only best way To know dis . Is to know if she really loves u . nd u do too. SHe wont be able to lie If she loves u . Theres sumthing named CONCIOUS inside us . nd dat dusnt allow u to cheat ..Just go ahead in ur relation . wait for sumtym …. If she has dun sumthng wrng . she'll herself nt be comfortable wid u . just be at ur best .. Nd u will see the results …

    Rate this answer » Good / Bad
    Current Rating: 0

    Answer by User 123 — March 10, 2010

Answer This Question

You must be logged in to post an answer.