Hi Anjali Aunty,

I am a 33 year old married man. I have two kids.

It was my biggest mistake to marry a  typical Indian women, whose life consists of just watching TV soaps, take care of the kids etc. She is of my age and has completely lost interest in sex. It has been more than one year since I have had sex with her. Now I have started feeling it was the big mistake of my life in marrying her. She doesn’t know how to satisfied a man, all she loves is when I finger her. She never encourages me for sex. I didn’t force sex on her as I am not that kind of a man but now I am feeling very disturbed. Almost one year has gone but she has no problem.

She always fights with me on small issues, we have nothing in common in likes and dislikes. She has a big ego. As it was my decision to marry her so I don’t blame my parents for this. I understand the responsibilities of being a father and so I can’t divorce her as it will ruin my kids life but now I can’t tolerate her any more.

Some time I think of committing adultery but my sense stops me. I have discussed this to my wife so many times but she never understand. While making love, she never cooperates with me, never gives me a simple blowjob & with very difficulty touchs my private parts.

Please suggest what can I do ? Options are very few as I can’t divorce her, can’t force sex on her, as no one left at her parent’s side who could understand me & suggest her.

Nowaday she raises questions of my manhood, which utterly disturb me. With great frustration I am writing this mail to you. I have started taking drugs. I am good earner and can easily can afford alternate sex. My friend suggested me number of call girls who are mistresses of sex games.

Please suggest as I am stuck in my life.

*****

Anjali’s request to everyone (Refer to the FAQs page )-

Spread the word among your friends and social circle and see if they share your enthusiasm about Ask Anjali. Put up links to AA on your social networking sites, blogs, personal email footers, instant messages footers etc.

Share the Questions you love in places like Digg, Technorati, Del.icio.us, Orkut, Facebook, Twitter etc. Its really easy, just use the [+Share/Bookmark] button.

If each of us can bring in newer visitors, there is nothing better than that. But please be careful not to spam or offend anyone who might not appreciate the ’sensitive’ nature of AA.

(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
You need to be a registered member to rate this question.

 Loading ...

8 Answers »

1. Everything seems very common to a daily life, except the part you have started taking drugs. Leave this first. As soon as possible.

   I came accross two friends with similar situation, One was no kids, no divorce, no sex. The other was having kids, no divorce option, no sex, and the wife was suspicious that how her man live without sex. I suggested them something and asked to inform me, both were happy later on.
   For the first one, I gave tips on sexual positions, try in variation, drew picture and told what to do how to do. Soon he came out of his missionary position and become a caring stud. Well his wife doubted though that he is having outdoor sex, so I had to go and talk to her wife clearing the air.
   For the second one, similar to you. My suggestion was to spice up sex life, and it worked perfect. I asked to go for role playing , it worked perfect.
   Some examples they played
   Doctor-Nurse, Businessman-Whore, Dad-daughter, Mom-son, Lady-Gardener, Lady-Guard, Guy-Maid, Police-whore, Busdriver-lady passanger etc.

   Later on I tried a few, it was amazing to spice up my own sex life.

   Try this, it might change your sex life.

   Rate this answer » Good / Bad
   Current Rating: +6

   Answer by Oye … — October 12, 2009

2. It is very fair to have a understanding affair with some body who need sex but do not get it from her hubby.may be try a lady who need sex with a good relationship with out any conditions. i feel sorry for the guy.

   Rate this answer » Good / Bad
   Current Rating: -2

   Answer by gunsi — October 12, 2009

3. Hello Frd,

   I see myself in your shoes after 3 yrs…
   I had been married since 3 yrs…hardly we had sex..and she was never interested in sex at the first point…
   She doesn’t respect me…childish in nature…doesn’t know that she is hurting me a lot…though I suffer everyday torture from her I still live with her the only reason being we had kid recently who is 2 months old …it has been more than 9 months we last had sex..she never wanted to have it..she is happy alone…we live in Middleeast working as a manager in a company..I have lot of respect in the office…I enjoy my office life very much..however once I come back to home in the evening she starts…for every small issue she wants to have a fight…forget abt sex..I lost peace of mind as well…not once but many times I thought of committing suicide the only reason I am still alive is for my kid..I don’t want to punish him by giving divorce to my wife or committing suicide… I had decided next year I will return to my home place and work for a company there though the pay I get there is 10 times lesser…I can have paid sex or maintain an affair with someone..here it is really tough to have an affair or going for a paid sex..so have to live for another 1 yr thru this torture everyday….

   Friend,
   I would suggest forget abt her…you need to live for your kids, parents and Friends…so stop taking drugs…start looking life on a positive note…start an affair or paid sex…i know I shld not suggest this but given our situation this is the best we have have to live with such kind of people…really life is a hell if one gets such a wife…

   wish you all the best frd…take a right decision.

   Rate this answer » Good / Bad
   Current Rating: +4

   Answer by Kunal — October 13, 2009

4. @gunsi, Gunsi, you asked me almost the exact same question. I hope you will get the answer from this page itself. There is no point publishing near identical questions.

   All the best.

   -Anjali

   Rate this answer » Good / Bad
   Current Rating: -1

   Answer by Anjali — October 13, 2009

5. HELLO EL,
   this is common and normal problem i seen in real in personal and in posting too.why not you experiment with your married life like behaving like you care,love and honest and show how honestly you love her.lets see other reply’s,cause i am really bored with same questions.

   ….ROH….

   Rate this answer » Good / Bad
   Current Rating: +1

   Answer by baroda7813@yahoo.com — November 22, 2009

6. dude… why dont you first try romancing her, rather than asking her for sex. maybe u aren’t as romantic as before and this could be well be the only missing link. I wonder if you have ever had family vacations or family outings or even movie shows with ur partner in the recent past. Be a lover apart from being a husband and she’ll be back as charming as she was before

   Rate this answer » Good / Bad
   Current Rating: +1

   Answer by chandigarh_da_jatt — November 23, 2009

7. dear friend
   as she is avoid to give u plasure after more coaxing her than try to import a different spice in sex life.
   first u can go for visiting many places(historic and geographic) with ur family(wife n children). psychologiest says it help to make strong bondage. near to the nature may make her wildy and make interested in sex. secound u may share blue flim wit ur wife.

   dont be FRASTED and panic to take drag to destroy u. just keep in mind u are unique in the world and world need u. start love ur wife and give her more gift. sometime gift can win her love.

   try to be her lover and pay honour to her. all things may help u.
   bonluck……..

   Rate this answer » Good / Bad
   Current Rating: 0

   Answer by dingi — December 4, 2009

8. only way out is to speak with her nwork things out or divorce.l the way u have put everything up seems like u want us to suggest u to go for extra maritial affair

   Rate this answer » Good / Bad
   Current Rating: 0

   Answer by meenakshi — July 30, 2010

Answer This Question

You must be logged in to post an answer.