Dear Anjali Aunty,

I am a 28 year old male working in a multinational company. My question is related to my sister. She is 24. She was dating a guy and was engaged with him since last year. After their engagement, they started living more like a husband and wife. She used to stay with him for sometime and he was staying at my home and was getting the full respect as a ghar ka daamaad. In the meanwhile, she got pregnant and she had to abort. After 8 months of engagement, they broke up and separated. Everyone in my family was quite shocked. He slept with her so long and then separated. We were under tremendous pressure.

Finally, the bad time were over and she got together with a new guy two months back. But my concern is that she is going the same path with him. She stays with him in his flat most of the time. After the past experience, we don’t want her to sleep so openly with this guy. We are very afraid of her getting pregnant again or getting separated after making frequent physical relations. But she is not ready to accept our idea and insist that she can’t marry a guy until she knows him very well. We are under pressure and are unable to understand what to do in such a situation.

Should we allow her to do what she is doing with him and let them understand each other before they marry or do we need to stop her from meeting that guy? Please look at all the consequences and give me a right suggestion please.

*****

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6 Answers »

1. Hi Manit

   As per your question u r tension is right because she has abort one time and this time it should not happen. So talk to u r sister in a cool environment talk slowly if she shouted also don’t get anger and talk politely and make her vision about his future that what will happen. Allow her to go with him with in certain time limit not to stay for night with him. Tell to u r sister u can also understand the guy by meeting her and talking with him. Ask your sister what she needs in her life partner. What i thought i told, if i am wrong i am very sorry. I hope it will help u.

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   Answer by ismav — October 6, 2009

2. Try to convince your sister that what she is doing is not correct or not ok, becoz last time she was denied by one guy. Your sister is ultimate decision maker of her life. You and your family only can support her.

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   Answer by ibbd — October 6, 2009

3. well well

   Blame yourself and Your Parents for the Freedom Given to her Dear.

   Blame yourself and Parents for continuing the freedom generously bestowed on her.

   Now from her point of view…

   She is 24 and hes harmoenes wants to be humbled and she is enjoying it at the best opportunity with your concent…………..

   She is a little immature and little will it help to convince her of the consequences u and ur family are facing,

   Let us see SEXUAL enjoyment and this kind of relationship is something which from Akbar’s time has been termed as LOVE IS BLIND and well u need to get her packed off ASAP before she lands up with a bloated belly again.

   let her quit and seperate if she likes after marriage if they don’t like………….

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   Answer by jaipurnat — October 7, 2009

4. intefere in this matter and be with her in every step and try to do your help in choosing the best.

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   Answer by evening — October 10, 2009

5. Dear Bro

   this is not a way to know each other bro…. i wish u can take ur sis for a good restaurant and talk with her about this things so that she dont feel bad tell her what she is doing wrong and abortion is not a good option every time…. tell her if abortion is a curse, she is killing someone say her to find a guy who is ready to be with her and get marry with her before they have sex…

   To all my friends here please take a necessary precaution while u have a sex if u are not married bcoz if u get pregnant dont do abortion
   abortion is not a good way, u are killing some one.

   be Careful dont play with others life

   Regards
   John

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   Answer by john_corp20 — October 21, 2009

6. talk to ur parents.dont allow her to go ahead as this guy will also do the same thing

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   Answer by meenakshi — July 31, 2010

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