DSN: Sex shop employees reveal their funniest customer stories
Working in a sex shop must be a fascinating experience. All the people you’d meet, the conversations you’d overhear.
It’s never going to be a dull day at the office – as this thread asking sex shop workers for their weirdest customer stories proves.
It’s safe to say things got interesting. You’ve been warned.
This 19-year-old sex shop worker entered a virgin and left an ‘electric gynaecologist’
‘One time I had a guy come in to buy an electric vagina, an $80 item. When I told him to have a nice evening he responded, very enthusiastically, “Oh you bet I will”.
‘Three hours later he came back. He wanted to return the electric vagina because the box was missing the lube that was supposed to come with it. Since I’d only been there for about a week and a half I didn’t know how to do a return, so I had to use the inter-store phone to call the manager who was working the cash wrap in the front.
‘She asked what was being returned and when I told her it was an electric vagina she said, “okay the first thing you need to do is inspect it to make sure it hasn’t been used”.
‘”Umm, what?” socially awkward nineteen-year old me said.
‘So I had to open up the rubber vagina and inspect it for wear and tear in front of the guy. Mercifully, it had not been used and I gave him his refund.
‘The worst part about it is that I was still a virgin at the time so that was my first close encounter with a vagina. I told this story to a couple of friends of mine too and became known to them as the “electric gynecologist” for a while.’
That poor girl
‘This is my girlfriend’s story. A customer came in and she said she never had an orgasm and she was told that some women just never have an orgasm.
‘She didn’t buy anything besides condoms and then left. 2 days later she comes back in with her boyfriend.
‘The boyfriend is in a big huff yelling, ‘TELL HER THAT SOME WOMEN JUST DON’T HAVE ORGASMS!’. He was throwing stuff around the room and talking about how his manhood was being insulted and how he was gonna show everyone in the shop how big he is. After he finally left, he peed all over my girlfriend’s car.’
Socks and sandals?
‘I worked at a sex shop from 19-21 and it was interesting to say the least. We were open til midnight on the weekends and about 15 mins before closing this normal-looking woman in a tracksuit comes in. She’s holding a leash with a diaper clad man on the end.
‘What shocked me more than anything was the dude had sandals with socks on. I told the couple they had to leave because pants were required in order to shop. Guy turns beet red (I’m thinking getting humiliated is his thing) the lady smirks and off they go. I had so much fun at that job.’
Reasons why you should never steal a dildo – especially from someone who knows where you work
‘Dude comes in… drunk. We chat for a while. Where he works, etc. Then grabs product and bolts. Except I knew where he worked. Probably a weird one for him when the cops showed up at his job for stealing dildos.’
We’ve got to give it to the guy for trying to keep his wife happy!
‘Was checking out the videos/dvds back in the day when a dude walks in and asks if they have any strap-on dildos. I’m kinda politely pretending not to hear as he explains he just had surgery and he’s not functional so needs a strappy to do the wife. I wasn’t sure which was more embarrassing: a guy attempting to by a strap-on for himself, or admitting it’s because his cock doesn’t work anymore. Good times!’