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What are your opinions on the #METOO Movement raging in our Country?

asked Oct 10, 2018 in Questions by gr8gaur (3,085 points)
edited Oct 15, 2018 by longhands1

This discussion is triggered by an incident in my office that made me think. Please do read but excuse me if its lengthy.


I guess everyone who has access to internet and TV must have heard about #MeToo movement by now. Its a movement which started way back in 2006 but came to the limelight in 2017, thanks to actress Alyssa Milano which took many industries and especially Hollywood by storm and is now establishing a strong foothold in Bollywood since Tanushree-Nana saga. More and more women are coming forward with their #metoo stories which is a sign of a progressing society and essential to create awareness of the dark world we live in.

But, there's an old saying which goes "EVERY COIN HAS TWO SIDES", and so does this evolutionary movement. Are we supposed to blindly believe each and everything dished out to us? Or should we keep an open mind and believe in what judiciary tells us, INNOCENT UNTIL PROIVEN GUILTY

Let me please, make it clear that I'm not against #metoo or #time'sup movement and am a very firm believer of gender equality. I'll give a couple of examples that I'll elaborate about briefly and rest you can search on google to get an idea of this whole discussion. 

1. Duke Lacrosse Case

2. Sarvjeet Singh- Jasleen Kaur case 2015 

These two cases are examples of what misuse of law or rights can do to the innocents. Men falsely accused of molesting, harrassing or raping a woman, just few words out of the mouth and lives and careers are smoked in the fire of accusations and trials. Pretty much similar to false accustions of dowry demand and omestic violence.

In both the cases that I mentioned, the lives of accused were destroyed and the accuser got scot free or for the sake of punishment were slapped on the wrist. What about #himtoo ???

The backlash of #metoo movement comes in the form of counter known as the PENCE RULE. Mike Pence, current vice president of USA came up with this rule (originally the BILLY GRAHAM rule). He says or rather he has made it a point that he won't meet any woman, have lunch, discussion, attend parties and pretty much everything  ALONE. And if he does, it would always be in the presence of his wife. This is to safeguard himself against false accusations of harrassment, molestation, rape etc. Its sort of a protective sheild to to save his career, reputation and his name. 

Mind you this Pence Rule is fast gaining momentum in countris like South Korean and some European countries as well. 

So what are your views about this ? please comment and share your thoughts. 

Also along with this discussion I have some questions that i'll ask after I get your valuable feedbacks. 

commented Oct 10, 2018 by longhands1 (91,565 points)
Discussions can only be initiated by Editors. So changed to Question.
commented Oct 10, 2018 by gr8gaur (3,085 points)
reshown Oct 14, 2018 by longhands1
I wanted it to be a question but looked more like a discussion, no issues.

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6 Answers

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   We also have a lots of discussions these days regarding the same. So let's take a look at pros and cons.
a) you and me are discussing the issue. We all knew that bollywood isn't woman friendly and people do get exploited. But we never cared about it. Hopefully we might see a welcome change after this movement.
b) This isn't specific to bollywood but any workspace. So woman may feel more secure if we do see some welcome changes.
c) The female who was exploited will be relieved of the mental agony and burden she was carrying all these years. This could be one of the major reasons behind this shaming exercise.
a) This could be misused and  act as a major blackmailing tool (like dowry harassment being misused)
b) There is no way that the girl can prove these charges. So this could lead to more victim shaming and could be detrimental for her if the opposite party is really powerful.

Overall I feel our system needs to change significantly. The powerful get away far too easily. They bypass the legal system with money/muscle power.
We should not see #Metoo just from female perspective. It's more about dominant forces exploiting weaker and helpless.

answered Oct 12, 2018 by gurubhai (160 points)
selected Oct 14, 2018 by gr8gaur
commented Oct 14, 2018 by gr8gaur (3,085 points)
Absolutely! Your each word seems to be plucked out of my garden of thoughts.
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To be honest it would be premature to hold anyone guilty unless facts come out in the public domain but at the same time we should not assume that women are doing it to get attention as there are many cases where it is true. The good thing is that all the parties do have a right to approach the right authority to get justice.

There are full chances that it will take time and a lot of energy but we are in the country where justice always prevails. These are high profile case so we should not worry about it too much since both parties do have enough money to go through legal battle but the main concern who do not have money cannot have an access to get even justice.
answered Oct 11, 2018 by alpesh kapdi (28,520 points)
commented Oct 14, 2018 by gr8gaur (3,085 points)
Thanx for your  point of view Alpesh  ! Agree with you on most parts except 'we are in the country where justice always prevails', no it doesn't.
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It is the Pandora's Box , just opened , See the hype - fuel, will be given by Indian media that has more inclined  on sex and rape .  
One side of the story - it is the pain that the women has faced , she has kept with her for so many years , because our SYSTEM of Police complaint and FIR is very Painful than a sexual harassment .  Now she can tell to the world her story -sitting inside her room,  no need to run behind Govt. offices .
answered Oct 13, 2018 by kapilh (1,400 points)
commented Oct 14, 2018 by gr8gaur (3,085 points)
well said ! but still women have to face the courts. You can't simply accuse and then think job is done, accused will defend himself, even if it means dragging the accuser to the court.
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Let the #metoo campaign going on.Be neutral till the truth to comes out.
answered Oct 13, 2018 by Happy Saint (775 points)
commented Oct 13, 2018 by gr8gaur (3,085 points)
Being neutral gets people trolled like it happened to couple of biggest superstars. I wonder whether tolerance is out of the window ?
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A very topical Subject. Unfortunately it has gained "Gender" sensitivity and views on this Topic will depend on one's gender or which gender you support, which is a pity as a Topic of this magnitude needs to be discussed dispassionately.

The general comment one hears is why complain now....what was the woman doing all these years. The fact is that most women are in a vulnerable position and never had a platform to air their sexual grievances. How many women are taken seriously, even when they bring up this issue in their Families? For most part the reaction of the family is, "Keep Quiet". It will sully the Family name.

It happens everywhere. Recently a Lady Judge has brought up the issue of her harassment and the Honourable Court has taken cognizance of the matter. A high Official of the BCCI has been charged today with sexual misconduct, and these charges pertain to the Gentleman when he was at the Discovery Channel. The woman alleged, "he invited me to his house when his wife was not there". " After some time he took off her clothes and forced her to perform a sexual act".

This does not happen only in high Society. The fact is that so many maids are taken advantage of and made to perform sexual acts against their wishes. For the sake of the job and financial well being, they do not complain.

It is good to see a Movement like this taking root and sweeping the Universe. We are all aware of many men promising marriage to a woman or at least being in a relationship with them, till they get into bed with her and then walking away nonchalantly.

Most Hospitals now have a Nurse present when a male Doctor is examining a female patient.

Now, let us look at the other spectrum. In 50 to 70 percent of the Cases of sexual misconduct charged by a woman, it was found that the cases were false and were instituted to harass the man. We have all read of the 90 year old bed-ridden man who was charged with rape and was put in jail, till he was freed by the court and this was done due to property disputes.

So, it is a fine line to decide which "Gender" is at fault. But at least now the Women have a platform and cannot be taken for granted, forcing men to think about the repercussion of their actions.
answered Oct 14, 2018 by longhands1 (91,565 points)
commented Oct 14, 2018 by gr8gaur (3,085 points)
Its not about why now why not then.  I believe these women especially when they detail their incidents to perfection because it actually happened with them and there is no one to contradict because they are telling the truth. Case in example that of Tanushree and all the women accusing Sajid Khan and Akbar.

My point is how do you differentiate between actual rape and rape fantasy being fulfilled ? Girlfriends/Wives asking their Boyfriends/hubbies to have rough sex with them and then later claim rape, what then  ?

Boy commits to marriage and then backs out, girl cries rape. Can this happen other way around ? Girl dumps boy, then can the latter claim rape ?

What is the difference between dumping someone and claiming rape (in reality consensual sex) when one promises marriage but backs out for whatever reasons ?
commented Oct 15, 2018 by longhands1 (91,565 points)
It has a lot to do with why now and why not then. Read about the Court ruling today, where a woman who was married and 4 years elder than the Guy she was having sex with and had an abortion, complained after 4 years. The Court has acquitted the Guy on the basis of time frame.

There is no doubt that women never had a movement like this, where she could speak up.

The word rape is used loosely in this context as it does not fit the definition of rape per se. Sex is generally consenual, but it is due to some implicit promise made like marriage or promotion or a role in a film. It is only when these promises are backtracked, that rape is alleged.

It is not going to be easy for Courts to decide as many factors are involved, but now a man has to think twice before he has sex with a woman. What is wrong in that?

Women are at most times at the receiving end.
commented Oct 15, 2018 by gr8gaur (3,085 points)
'But now a man has to think twice before he has sex with a woman',  what is wrong in that' ? So a man has to constantly live under threat under all circumstances ?

1. Be it a FWB arrangement.
2. Having sex with Girlfriend.
3. Having sex with wife.

Do you think its normal ? Don't get me wrong but I read a line in one of the articles of THE SUN where one of the feminist said  'if this movement takes casualty of one or two innocents then its fine, women have suffered a lot', your last ine reminded me of this.
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Hi Lovely Peoples.,

Frankly speaking it's utter nonsense n pure act of being Opportunistic.

Me being a women, I am absolutely against this, all the women who are making noise are purely all elite crowd n are just trying to be limelight and garner name, fame n probably money. This is not the voice of actual illiterate n poor and less empowered women who actually face sexual harassment n or being raped. They can't even launch complaint as there near n dear one will not support them, and will be more subjected to sexual harassment n mockery.

This is a pure case of harassment of men... Kind of life style me and all my friend group enjoy, it won't be right that some year down the line same women go ahead n complaint about sexual harassment n rape.

I know so many female, who are over aspirational n to achieve their dream are even ready to seduce their bosses n sleep with them..Even if boss has not at all initiates it or shown an sign of being revert.

I am strongly oppose to current group of women who running this so called #metoo propaganda, but  I am ready to support those ooper females stying in small villages or cities n face sexual harassment every day, be it while traveling or working or in school colleges.

Note: Pls do not bug with PM requesting for sexual relationship, or I will raise this fuckall #meetoo campaign against those perverts...hahhaha

With Love,
Sexy Gudiya
answered Oct 15, 2018 by boldnsexy (1,450 points)
commented Oct 15, 2018 by gr8gaur (3,085 points)
Well well welll ! I must say I'm surprised by your opinion and happy to be proven wrong. I concur with every single thing you said and feel like you stole my thought.
commented Oct 21, 2018 by nehasona (660 points)
I too completely second sexy Gudiya. She has hit the nail with the BIGGEST BANG on the head. Nothing more to add. Brilliant Gudiya, hats off to you mam.

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