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My Friend wants to know if he can marry his cousin sister.

1.6K views
asked Sep 6 in Questions by Harsh.03 (1,025 points)
Hello users,

This question is from my friend Pratik( name changed). I had recommended to Pratik this site many months ago. He is here, but he feels awkward to ask this question.

Pratik, wants to get married to a girl named Sneha ( name changed). Sneha is Pratik's cousin sister. Pratik likes Sneha very much and few months ago he proposed to her. But Sneha rejected his proposal by saying that they are cousins and their family members won't accept their relationship.

Let me explain how Pratik and Sneha's relation.

Two brother A and B.A is elder brother.
both brothers have 1 daughter and both are married in different family. B's daughter is elder than A's daughter.
let say A and B have daughter name A1 and B1.

B1 have a son who's name is Pratik and A1 have a daughter named Sneha.
that's how Pratik and Sneha are realted to each other.

When he came to me with this question I also have some doubts. as far as I know a man can't marry his own sister or his cousin sister ( from paternal side, like father's brothers daughter etc). but I have no idea about cousin sister from maternal side. and Pratik is belong to Hindu community.

So if any one have any knowledge about this issue please let me know



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4 Answers

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This might not be possible as they are relatively considered as cousins so for them it is not an easy thing to go against the religious thing. Moreover, she has rejected him already citing the reason so no chance of him getting married to her remained there. Matter would have been different if she had said yes to him. There are certain things that we need to respect as we are living in the society which runs by some basic rules.

If she was her mother’s brother’s sister then there are chances that their family may get ready for their relationship but she is her mother’s sister’s daughter so she is his cousin sister and all the family members would see things from this point of view. Talk to him and ask him to find a new girl with whom he can see his future as this union is not possible at all so he should  not waster his time to persuade her.
answered Sep 7 by alpesh kapdi (27,390 points)
commented Sep 7 by Harsh.03 (1,025 points)
I thought so. all I knew that you can't marry your mother's full or half sister daughter. but I don't know about mother's cousin's daughter that's why I asked.

One thing I want to clear. they both meet outside and their parent's don't know about this. and they treat each other as bf gf. but when Pratik asked to get married, that time she refused and said that they won't able to marry as they are cousins.

I also told him that he should move on. instead he told me that he is considering changing religion for this marriage. I told him that changing religion for marriage is dumbest idea.

I will try to clear his mind once again. if he won't listen then he will responsible what gona happen next.

thank you for taking your valuable time to answer this question.
0 like 0 dislike
Harsh03

This might not be possible as they are cosidered cousin sisters.

In the system of much acclaimed, Dravidian Kinship for social hormony also, it is not acceptable, as per the rules.  The rule suggests that Sneha and Pratik are considered as marital alliances only if either B1 or A1 is a male and other is a female.
answered Sep 7 by solliadi (2,910 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Suddenly I felt I was solving a reasoning question of a bank exam with all this A1, B1 daughter uncle.

Anyways, so if I understood correctly then mothers of both the girl and boy are cousins, so they aren't direct cousins. Now going by the pseudo names you mentioned, I guess they belong to a religion which is the majority religion of our country, right ????

Now the problem here is that I don't know whether one can marry cousin's distant cousin or not. Its best to ask elders in your family in an indirect way, or maybe others here on this forum can tell you as to whether its allowed or not.

RELIGION / FAITH IS A BIG FACTOR HERE.
answered Sep 8 by gr8gaur (2,400 points)
commented Sep 13 by Harsh.03 (1,025 points)
asking my parents indirectly!!
few months ago when it comes to marriage, my marriage, I told my parents that I decided to I won't bother about her martial status. I found a women who was widow. It was very tough to convince my parents, plus I got so much headache from my relatives. unfortunately that women backout on issue of kundali shanti etc(and whatever else which I really don't care) again my relatives gave me headache on that too.
I said that enough and cut all my contact with my relatives and my family.

now to get clear idea on this topic, I need to ask my parents in any way, so they think that I'm in love with my mother's sisters daughter. so again this merry go round!!

for me what happen with me was more than enough. now I'm living in peace, and don't want to spoil it for anyone.

I tried to convince Pratik before this. and I will try one more time. if he won't listen then that's his fate.
0 like 0 dislike
Two question arise here...
1) Is this possible or not..??
2) and both are ready or not...???

Let me tell you first that cousin relationships are always avoided due to scientific relation. Chances to get healthy baby get at lower level in case of cousin relationships. And with the same gene baby won't have better immune system. I AM AGREE WITH ALPESH THAT AS SHE HAS ALREADY SAID NO. So do not waste time. Still if you want to take a chance go step by step. With this life may give you an experience with slap and pain but it will lead to better life. Chances of Positive outcome are very low.

For the possibilities don't ask parents directly. Because every one will have there difference of opinion and later on they will ask to elder person of the family and Pandit. If you really want to know about the possibilities. Make a proper family chart on paper for better understanding and represent that to Pandit. Let him answer is it possible or not. If he says yes then you will have some kinda back-up to convince.

Then if possible ask your friend to take help any elder/old person with whom he is friendly and on whom he can rely. Because even in hindus every caste have their own rules and believes. I will give you example of my case. I had asked about a girl casually to my mother. in our case she said her maternal grandmother and my mater grandmother (NANI ) both were real sister. So we are cousins not possible. If we see from the paternal point of view we are not cousins but from maternal point we are cousins. In our caste we believe there should me gap of minimum 3 generation if maternal relationship is involved.

Then question arise that both are ready or not. First get confirm that is it possible or not. Dn't involve too much emotions. If possibilities are almost nil then your friend should not waste time. It would lead to heart breaks, depression. There would be someone for him too.

It would be better for your friend to take it as arranged marriage not as love marriage. This approach won't harm anyone's emotions or family reputation. Even with this approach parents will understand that at this young age attraction happens and they will be friendly with him too. They will respect approach & maturity of pratik too.

Dn't try to convince her on chats / calls or dating. Dn't make it self challenge k and dn't be in dreams k she has yes in heart but no on face. This all happens in movie not in real life. Make your personality that girl should like you. All the best for your and your friends life.
answered Sep 14 by SHREYASH PATEL (580 points)

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