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Should I tell my Wife (on our first night) about my past Girlfriend?

asked Aug 20 in Questions by Armaancool4u (125 points)

My name is Armaan. I am 28 years old. I am going to marry next month. It is an arranged marriage.

When I was in college, I had an affair with my classmate. It was for 4 years. In that time we only spent time with each other and did only kissing means smooches and french kiss but not more than that. We had never done sex.

My question is: Should I tell my wife on the First night about my past. Because it can hurt her and can affect on our marriage life.

What should I do?

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13 Answers

0 like 0 dislike
Tell her, that will be better. She will be happy to know that you told her about your past. Assure her that you will be loyal to her and she is your present & future. Wishing both of you a Happy Married life in advance.
answered Aug 20 by Happy Saint (350 points)
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Hi Cool

I think there is no need to tell her. Yes I admit personally life should start with truth and faith but girls are too much conservative. You may face some issue so that better do not tell her about your girlfriend.

Best of luck
answered Aug 21 by kingmyaqueen (2,380 points)
commented Aug 21 by Happy Saint (350 points)
Issue is there when hidden truth comes out. Now a days affairs are common even girls have more affairs than boys before marriage. It is up to you to decide to live your Life with the past with fear or start life as a faithful partner.
commented Aug 22 by kingmyaqueen (2,380 points)

Practically something not possible as words. If she will narrow minded then life becomes hells. Always she will see you with some doubt in her mind. So better to keep secret past life.
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Only if she tells you about her past and stuff, otherwise no need to tell her all by yourself, let her ask and then you tell her that sharing past has to be mutual.
answered Aug 21 by gr8gaur (2,400 points)
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Don't try anything foolish, Just forget your past.
None should discuss their personal affairs in first night it's my opinion.
answered Aug 21 by abhi14343 (1,850 points)
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Hi Armaan,

Honesty is the best policy. But I would advise you not to confess about your past relationship on first night itself and spoil her mood. You can tell her after a few months. Anyway, you didn't have sex. So that should mollify your wife to a large extent.
answered Aug 21 by Austin George (660 points)
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You should have told her before you got engage to her so she could decide whether it is a deal breaker thing for her or not but you did not do that. Therefore, even if you tell her now she has no option other then go ahead and get married to you as she has little time with her but if you tell her on your first night then it must be a cheating on her so now better not to tell her.

What you had done in the past is not her business and she cannot judge you based on your past. If you are over your ex girlfriend and you are into your would be wife now then you should focus on your present time and not on your past.

If you tell her then the dynamic of the relationship would get changed so better to keep it as a secret and live your life without bringing this to her as that is not now required.

One thing you should keep in mind that it is your right to keep certain things secret if those things happened before she was part of your life. If you tell her then you would just going to upset her so better not to tell her anything and the good thing is that you had not sex with your ex so this is useless to inform her about your past. Make sure that after marriage you keep her happy as that is what is going to matter.
answered Aug 21 by alpesh kapdi (27,390 points)
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Dear Armaan ,

If presently you are not connected emotionally or physically to your EX- GF  then ,    Few smooches and french kisses are not big issue now a days ,  
I think you should not reveal those all things in first night ,  
why are you making complications it will no were affect your marriage life  , even she will also be having some BF or so , so in current scenario you should be faithfull after marriage thats all .

nothing to worry , just ignore those small incidents , and go ahead . and keep the same view for her also.

ALL the best
answered Aug 21 by kapilh (1,205 points)
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What benefit you are expecting to confess the past? Keep the matter secret.Never tell about your past life and never suspect her.
answered Aug 21 by Motilal (8,030 points)
commented Aug 21 by Happy Saint (350 points)
Its strange for me, as every one suggested not to reveal. May be all of you faced this type of situation before.I always believe to face the situation. So my opinion will be different. I always think girls & ladies are soft targets in our society. So my answer will be more favorable towards them. I do respect all your opinions. I hope I will not change.
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Asnwer is straight past has nothing to do wtih present you have done nothing wrong so there is no need to tell her and even dont ask her about her past.
answered Aug 21 by myselfarun (1,790 points)
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I had known a real story that past broke the marriage.The boy had told everything about his ex gf to his fiance.After some time the pics of the boy and his ex gf had been leaked and the girl saw this pics and broke the marriage.Also there is a real story how past destroy the present.Wife's ex bf came into present.The husband doubt his wife that she is having sex with her ex bf.After the mutual communication between three of them the problem had been solved.In this case there is no divorce.

Think the outcome what will happen when you tell about your past to your partner.Study the nature of your partner First.If your parter is agressive,possesive about your past please donot tell.What if your past will come in your present.

Have a great day ahead..
answered Aug 22 by wassekaran (780 points)
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I dont think it s a good idea to say that on first night. Why ruin that moment? Not like you had sex with her. So keep it for yourself and later on if it comes up then tell her.
answered Aug 28 by Asanka (525 points)
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You have got many replies, but I have not seen any acknowledgement or feedback from you. We appreciate feedback, so that we can understand what you.are thinking.

It is not a very good idea to confess on the first night itself. You never know how your spouse or partner will react as you have not spent enough time with them to know their beliefs and mind set.

Are you trying to clear your own conscience by confessing? What you have done cannot be undone so learn to live with your conscience, without trying to share it with your partner/wife.

Human mind is very suspicious and if you give it a chance it will create scenarios which may not exist. Many marriages have been destroyed due to suspicion and by confessing you will be creating grounds for suspicion.
answered Aug 28 by longhands1 (84,355 points)
commented Aug 29 by Armaancool4u (125 points)
yeh but is it right to hide from her. After marriage we start our new life can't we make our relationship on truth.
commented Aug 29 by longhands1 (84,355 points)
What will you gain from telling the truth? Maybe a clean conscience. But it could also lead to disharmony and problems in marriage if your partner is the jealous and suspicious type.
0 like 0 dislike
First I would suggest you to assess her mindset and her views about relationships. If she comes from orthodox family and you feel that she would not be comfortable with your past relationships, don't tell her at least not on the first night.
The only thing you both should do is to enjoy the moment to the fullest, the first night not going to come back again in your lives. Talk to her about the future of both of you and other stuffs but not about your ex, it may backfire. If you still want to tell her, tell her before your marriage.
answered Aug 29 by gauravtri8 (165 points)

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