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Is it ok to talk with my mom about her having an affair with someone?

asked Aug 10, 2018 in Questions by Idontknow (200 points)
edited Aug 11, 2018 by longhands1

My mom is alone since 12-13 years after my father's death. She had a second marriage after 4-5 years of my father's death but it did not work out and they seperated within a year. Since then she did not have sex, she watches porn in my absence ( dont ask me how I know about  it). I know she is alone now and needs some one in her life. I am ok if she has an affair with some one. I don't have a problem if someone visits her at home and they make out in our home in my presence.

I want to know, if at the age of 50. does her sexual desire get decreased? Or she needs sex more or less? Please answer all of my questions.

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6 Answers

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The good thing is that you do not have any issue if she would have an affair but that does not mean that you need to talk to her about it. If she gets someone to have sex then let her do what she wants to do but it is useless to encourage her to have an affair since it is not your place to have a conversation with her over it.

She is a mature woman and she must be aware what she needs to do to be happy so just stay away from her personal thing and support her as a son in whatever way you can. However, if she talks to you about something like that and needs your opinion then the matter would be different and you can tell her what you feel.
answered Aug 12, 2018 by alpesh kapdi (28,795 points)
selected Aug 20, 2018 by Idontknow
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I don't think talking to her straight about this will be a good idea. Sexual desire vary from person to person she might want someone in her life might not. The only thing you can do for her is to create her FB account if there isn't teach her how tk make or add friends she will find someone if she needs.
answered Aug 12, 2018 by myselfarun (2,005 points)
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The good thing is that you don't have any problem if your mother do any affairs.

things are different for different people so cant say she need sex or not once she passed to 50 age.

As you mentioned that she first get widowed and then her second marriage is also end, she might be feeling lonely.
and as you are now 20+, that doesn't mean that your mature enough to tell her to do that do this. you can't force her to do affairs, etc.

so things you can do -

you can have a conversation with her about her being lonely. if she responds positively then you can continue on this or else you need to stop this discussion.

and about sex. so you asked does she needs sex more or less.
well we seek someone so we can talk with them, share our thinking with them. it can be anyone, like our friend our cousin etc. so basically we need a person to share our thoughts etc. that's why people married ( most of us get married coz of our parents). anyway, sex is important for every human being, but it's not must do thing in every relationship.
 for example, suppose you introduce her to any friend of yours or any other guy, she is lonely now, with him she might go to movies, to shopping,to dates etc. but it isn't compulsory to have sex with him.
I hope you understand what I'm trying to say till this  point.

thing is that you know that your mother is lonely. but you can't suggest her to do affairs and have sex directly. and you shouldn't make that approach.
Instead you can talk with her that you see her being lonely, if she wants to get remarried or not, etc.

any doubts  then ask me here. and keep us updated
answered Aug 12, 2018 by Harsh.03 (1,120 points)
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You mentioned she's 50, right! She can take care of her needs on her own, she doesn't tell you when and with whom you should have an affair or that at what age you should start having sex, right? So just let it be, if she wants sex she can get it on her own, after all its men who do the hunting not women, sex comes to women easily, they hardly have to act desperate like us men.
answered Aug 12, 2018 by gr8gaur (3,190 points)
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Why do you want to push her into an affair? Do you think shes waiting for permission from you? Even if she has one I doubt she will go off having sex in front of you or anything of that sort. My advice is just let her decide. You can just casually mention to her your free to see someone, but not force her into it or mention about doing stuff in front of you.
answered Aug 13, 2018 by Asanka (805 points)
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how you know she is watching sex videos?
answered Aug 14, 2018 by ana (645 points)

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