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My Son who is a Divorcee has Sex with me. How to cope with the guilt?

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asked Jul 22 in Questions by rasmii (125 points)
edited Jul 22 by longhands1

Hello,

I am a 54 year old widow living with my Son. He is 35 years old and was divorced 3 years ago. I lost my husband 7 years ago because of heart attack. I used to be a Maths Teacher in a school near my home before my husband's death. Then I quit teaching. My eldest daughter is happily married and staying in different city.

She visits me twice a year. My son is addictd to alcohol and that was the main reason for his divorce. He always comes home drunk and sleeps like a dead man. I used to cry sitting in his bed. Some times I used to change his clothes when he came home drunk.

Me and his ex-wife would try councelling him about his addiction. In the morning, when he became sober, he used to behave with me normally, talking with me and helping me till he gets ready for office.

Since last 1 month, he has stopped drinking. He spends most of the time with me after office, talking with me and helping me. Naturally, as a mother I got closer to him after his divorce as I was worried about him. Since I had crossed 50, I used to change my clothes infront of him. I used to take bath in petticoat, without closing the door. Sometimes he would stare at me when I changed my clothes and bathed, but I took it as normal.

Ten days ago, again he came home drunk and started crying in his room. I asked him why he was crying but he kept crying. I put my arms around him to console him, but he continued crying. Then he hugged me. I also hugged him. I kissed him on his head. He kept hugging me tightly and my breasts were crushed on his head. He was sitting on the bed and I was standing. He suddenly put both his hands on my both ass and press them gently.

After sometime he grabbed my ass cheeks and held them tight. I asked him what are you doing and tried to free myself, but he held me even more tightly. He said Please Amma. He then kissed both my boobs. I was struggling. He let me free.

I was shocked by my son's actions. I asked him why you do this to me? He replied, Amma, I feel really lonely and need sex desperatly. His words shook me. He began begging me. "Amma, please I want to make love to you. Please don't disappoint me. No one will know. It will give pleasure both of us. I was totally shocked and don't know how to react. I told him you are drunk and not in your sense. Stop talking like this to your Amma. We can talk tommorow.

I was ready to leave his room, but he held my hands and said, Please Amma, I want you from many years but never had guts to talk with you. He again hugged me and kissed me all over my face. I was crying and begging him to leave me. But he was strong.

He pulled me on the bed and pulled up my maxi. He then touched my vagina. I had stopped wearing panty and bra after the death of my husband. That night my son had sex with me. That night was the most painful night for me. I could not shout for help as he is my own son.

Since that day, he keeps having sex with me. I really wanted to leave home and go to my daughter for ever, but I really dont have a good reason to tell my daughter why I left my home.

Now a days, I have begun to enjoy Sex with my son. I know it is morally wrong to have sex with one's own son. I have already crossed 50. To be frank he made me feel so young. What should I do? Some times my mind says leave home forever and sometimes it says keep continuing this relationship.

What to do?

featued question



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14 Answers

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Best answer
Hi Rasmii !

Your situation has two aspects:

1. In your words, the first time you had sex with him, that wasn't sex but a RAPE ! He raped you and you didn't shout or scream cause he is your son and you didn't want any legal trouble for him and spoil his life. Now ideally you should have complained and put him behind bars but you didn't and I won't comment on your judgement, thats up to you to decide. You thought about leaving him but you didn't, perhaps you pity on his condition, didn't want to create a scene or perhaps you started to enjoy the intimacy which leads to our second aspect.

2. Now it has become a routine and the rape (in your words) has turned to consensual sex which you've started to enjoy. Morally wrong or not that is for you to decide. Mom-son, father-daughter, brother-sister incest is not so common and not so uncommon at the same time. We never know what happens within the 4 walls and so we shouldn't judge.

Moral and immoral things can never be defined by the society. At the end of the day all that matter is ARE YOU ABLE TO SEE YOUR FACE IN THE MIRROR? DO YOU FEEL FROM INSIDE THAT YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG ??? If answer to both these questions is 'NO' then its not immoral. If he satisfies you, fulfills you, makes you happy and it stays within those four walls then let it continue.
answered Jul 23 by gr8gaur (2,400 points)
selected Jul 26 by rasmii
commented Jul 26 by rasmii (125 points)
Yes, I did not shout and I didn't complain to the police to put him behind the bars because he is my only one son.

No matter what I do, I love him a lot. He enters forcefully at the place where I birthed him 35 years ago. That was the most painful time for me in my whole life. After that night I just hated my self.

I never ever thought my son will do this to me. In the 2nd night when he wanted to have sex, I just lay in bed and allowed him to do the rest. I know it is very much wrong but i submitted my whole body to him.

I think this is my destiny now. I give response to him, trying to receive all the pleasure from him.

Thank you for your precious comment.
commented Jul 30 by gr8gaur (2,400 points)
You're welcome Rasmii !

Thanks for selecting my answer as best, sorry for the late response,  I forgot to see the updates(still ain't completely used to this site).

Just take some precautions and ask him to use condoms, for you never know if he's having sex outside.
0 like 0 dislike
Hi rasmii,

Once you start enjoying sex, there's no point in turning back.

Looking into your's and your son's marital status, i personally feel that if you already had sex and enjoying sex with him, there is no harm in continuing your relationship.

Believe me, for a son, having sex with mother is the most pleasurable. Sons get a strong erections when involved with their own mother. So mothers also will receive nice fucking sessions from young cocks.
From a son's point of view (Only those who want to have sex with their mothers),already moms show love and care for their sons. Imagine if she gives her body also to son, that will be the best thing that can happen to a son.

So don't worry much and enjoy your new relationship.
All the best
answered Jul 22 by Ilovemumma (165 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Hi Rasmii,

To be honest, I feel that we women sometimes give into our physical desires so easily. We should be aware of the consequences before involving in incest sexual relationship because it may have dire consequences on our conscience and morality. Physically you may be satisfied but mentally you will be always feeling guilty of wrongdoing.

In this case, since you both are already fulfilling your physical desires with each other and you aren't answerable to your respective spouses because of the circumstances, I would suggest you to not feel guilty anymore, forget the past and try to back off from this relationship if you want to feel good.

But if you are enjoying the sex, then carry on because ultimately you are the sole owner of your life and you will decide how to live it than others suggesting it. It's a hypothetical as well as a morality question for which you have to make the decision.
answered Jul 23 by Vedika (505 points)
0 like 0 dislike
There is a stark contradiction in your statements which, obviously reflect your split state of mind. You are enjoying sex with him and yet feel guilty. You have the privilege to have only one.

You can either stop having sex with him or enjoy having sex with him. If you wish to avoid this situation of incestuous rape ( if that's what you are indicating it is on the one hand), you can very strongly reprimand him and threaten him with a complaint with the police. Even if you do carry out this threat ( which I don't think you will), do not involve rape or incest but a physically violent son who is an alcoholic should be sufficient to get police help.

You can request their social service branch, who are very adept at resolving these issues with sensitivity, without imprisoning him and you won't need a counselor/psychiatrist.  On the other hand, If both of you enjoy and no one comes to know of it, including your daughter and ex-daughter-in-law plus any other person, there is nothing I find worth feeling guilty about.

In fact you can use sexual satisfaction as a tool to wean him away from alcoholism, convincing him that the satiety he seeks is with his Amma and she will make him happy only if he gives up alcohol for good, albeit with a bit of anti-abuse therapy.

The second option suits you both best since you too remain satisfied and don't have to look elsewhere for pleasure.There IS a strong desire on your part to be sexually fulfilled since you were changing clothes in front of him and bathed with the door open.The petticoat was just one inhibition left with you as you wanted to convince yourself that you are trying to keep him off.

I feel you should enjoy and don't feel guilty.Many women might be involved in incest without feeling guilty or disclosing the same to anybody. See to it that he stops drinking and gets busy re-building his life.
answered Jul 23 by R2D2 (180 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Hi Rashmi,

" I have begun to enjoy Sex with my son. I know it is morally wrong to have sex with one's own son. I have already crossed 50. To be frank he made me feel so young. What should I do?"

These words are very clear. My personal opinion is that your son is an alcoholic but he is enjoying sex with you. Yes, she is also missing and you also start enjoying but later feel guilty. I think you have to control your son and tell him to stop drinks. Tell him "If you will obey me then I will give you permission to do everything."

It may be possible that your son become nice and afterwards he realises what he is doing that is wrong or may be your relationship become more strong. In both situation you will have get benefits. But important part is you have to make him your slave. Then only you will get benefits.
answered Jul 23 by kingmyaqueen (2,380 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Rashmi,

It is very easy for us to get judgemental and tell you what is right and what is wrong. But we are not here for that.

Incest though in any form goes against the grain of Society and so is inherently wrong. The specious argument that two consenting adults can decide how they want to indulge in their Life is unsustainable. Just as an Exhibitionist would derive pleasure from roaming naked on the street, but is barred from Society and the Law is an example of what is right and wrong.

But, Incest does exist and by trying to sweep it under the carpet , will not make it go away. We have many Mothers who have shared their experiences here of sexual dalliance with either their teenage or grown-up sons on this Site and the most common thread is the feeling of guilt and remorse, once having experienced it.

Incest between siblings, may come to an end if one of the siblings gets married and moves away from the household, but in a mother-son incestuous bond, it is often a difficult proposition. Another common thread is that once the sense of guilt is overcome, there is a deep bonding and the mother begins to enjoy the sex as much if not more than the Son.

Why do you feel that a woman cannot or should not have sex if she crosses 50? There is really no age that limits a woman from enjoying sex.

Sometimes when you are in a quagmire, you should use it to your advantage. In this case, you can use the sex, to get your son out of his alcohol addiction. It will not be easy as the moment you deny him sex, he will get back into his alcoholic bouts. How you do it is up to you.

You may also be tempted to share your guilt with his divorced wife. I think you should not do this and let the secret remain between the two of you.

We would like to hear your comments to our Answers, so that maybe we can give you more inputs.
answered Jul 23 by longhands1 (84,355 points)
0 like 0 dislike
if you are enjoying then there is no point of backing now, your guilt avout being into all this is natural. you have to choose between guilt and enjoy. Submit to your son as he is the one whom you can trust and he will not leave you for obvious reasons so there is nothing to worry you both can enjoy and complete each other.
answered Jul 24 by myselfarun (1,790 points)
0 like 0 dislike
There is a hero and rascal in everybody. Who wins? The one you feed.

Sometimes the best answer is not to answer.

Happy Mother-ing

Aru Verma
answered Jul 24 by aruverma (375 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Yes, this is morally wrong but that does not mean that you cannot do it if this is the thing you want in your life. If you are able to cope up with the guilt then keep having sex with him as it sounds that you both want the same thing otherwise leave the house.

You can even warn him that if he tries to have sex with you next time then you will report it to the police and he has to face the law for raping you and I am sure he will stay away from you and if he does not then you should report it to the police as that is the only option.

You can even talk to your daughter about his actions so she can support you and do not feel ashamed as you are not doing anything wrong. It is up to you what you want to do and so decide and take the final decision so you can be sure what you want.

If you want to have sex with him then keep doing it and make sure that no one would know about it. You are not alone who is in the incest relationship as it is happenings all around the world.
answered Jul 25 by alpesh kapdi (27,390 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Whatever it is , a son should never  think of a  mother whether  she is a widow or not.It is sin.
answered Aug 4 by elmraj (110 points)
0 like 0 dislike
As you both need and enjoy sex, please continue.

Tell him strictly that, no sex if he drinks. He will give up drinking.

When it is 3+ months of non drinking, talk to his wife (If she is still single) and ask her to comeback.
answered Aug 31 by g_hrny (180 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Very shameful act but morally or legally this is not right
But if you both are enjoying then no harm for both of you
Who knows about this,if you are willingly doing then come out from guilty but your son is an Animal .
answered Sep 4 by S Saxena (135 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Feel better and more importantly I am request you to be relaxed it all happened so fast and you have no need to get wounded of the happened.

Incest is just happen and it looks great to hear for someone

It is addressed not as sin be careful about keeping secrets in your area

You try to improve your son life  OK thanks
answered Sep 12 by ramanravi (225 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Nothing is moral or immoral if you are enjoying sex with son go for it and enjoy sex
answered Sep 13 by abc198903 (125 points)

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