My husband wants to have Sex daily even when I am very tired. What to do?

Question

It is almost one year since my Marriage. I am now 21 and my husband is 29.

My husband's sex desire has incresed a lot. He wants to have sex daily as much as he can. I had asked question earlier too on this subject. He is into business, so there is no fixed time to go to work or return.

He comes home for lunch and that time also he has sex. In the morning before leaving, he  also has sex. At night his desire  is uncontrollable. We again live in a nucleur family, so he has full liberty to do what he wants.

It is very difficult for me cater to his sexual demand. I have no choice. If I refuse, he will do it forcefully. He is very short tempered and beats me a lot, sometimes with belt. He  drinks a lot and after drinking his state is very bad. Twice, I complained to the police, but he bribed them and they went, saying its internal household matter and you should sort it amongst yourself.

After their departure, he beat me up badly. My in-laws are of no use, as when we were staying together, same was happening. I was not getting on well with them. My parents are under pressure from his family, due to some issue.

I need some advise how can I reduce his lust for sex and what else I should do?

Answer 1

Hi,
 
I do not advise you to go for separation or any legal complaints. I can understand he beats you and that is not good. Try to give him your love. When ever doing sex you too participate give him full support with full love. Just do not do for sake of doing ,and let him not only  perform  

Let him dominates you, but at the same time you give him full support with love. You undress him, let he undress you giving each other deep French kissing. During sex he must be calm so at that time talk to him about beating and drinking. Am sure he will understand.

As he has excessive sex drive, nothing wrong, all humans are not the same. Am sure you must be beautiful and sexy, so his desire to have more sex. Explore different methods of sex. Give him wonderful blow job, deep kissing. Caress his body, lick his body. Allow him to fondle your breasts and suck them. Ask him to give you deep penetration in your pussy with his tongue.

Engage in long and pleasurable foreplay. Am sure you will overcome problems. Never fight with him. Prepare good food of his choice. Sometimes you dominate him in sex by making him  lie on bed and you perform. You too try to enjoy sex with him.

Am sure you will. And am sure he will change absolutely.

Comments

Thanks As per your suggestion I am coperating with him
He has changed a lot. we both enjoying sex now

Answer 2

I feel sorry for the state of affairs mentioned by you.Your husband seems to be inhumane and irrational.Excessive sex will ruin him and he is himself digging his graveyard. In near future he may be impotent.Treating you like a toy.You may install a CCTV to record his unruly activities with the help of your well Wishers.His limitless lust can be reduced through proper medication.Consult a good Physician before doing so.

Answer 3

Hi Priya,

Few men are born with such rare appetite for sex and same applies for few women too. They are called Nymphomaniacs.

If it is unbearable, it is wise to go for a legal separation and find someone who can understand your pain.

There is a clause in court to support your kind of problems. Let me know if you need any further assistance.

Answer 4

The best u can do for him is to give him blowjob or enhance oral sex. Try to ejaculate his semen once before penetration this will cool down his sexual frustration and give relief to you.

On the contrary, if you belong to another Religion, you can allow him second marriage so he will divert him self.

Answer 5

He is raping you daily by going against your wish which he does not have a right to force you into sex. If your parents are not helping you to get out of this situation then I think you should contact the lawyer about police behavior and not handling the matter seriously.

If you have any close family members or friends you should contact to them to inform about your situation so someone can help you. You can contact woman cell to handle the situation but continue under this situation is not the solution and you should not be molested by your husband daily.

You should look for the ouster as that is the only way you should go for it as it is useless to think about how to decrease his sexual desire. You are too young and you have your whole life ahead of you so do not continue with him and end the married life as soon as possible so you can begin your life again with someone who can give you what you deserve.

Answer 6

Priyarah,

I had advised you in my Answer to your first Post, almost a year ago, that you need to make a complaint to the Police, but it seems that this has failed.

I am sure that he must have told the Police, that you do not want to have sex with him and this being a Man’s World, the Police sympathized with him and did nothing to help you out of your predicament.

Just as a Woman can have an insatiable desire for sex and is called a Nymphomaniac, when a man has such a desire it is called Satyriasis. Not that knowing this will help you. But it is a Medical condition and needs Medical and Social Counselling.  

In the present circumstance, your Husband is not going to attend either. What is also unfortunate is that he is also an alcoholic, which makes the situation even worse. Under the influence of alcohol, he would get violent and act irrationally.

You also do not have the support of your in-laws and so there is no one to restrain him. I presume you are also dependent on him for financial support. If you could convince him in his sober moments to allow you to work, that would be of some help.

I do not remember, if you said you have any children. But, you will need to take a harsh decision. You will have to seek divorce (which I rarely recommend), but things will only get worse for you. Take pictures of the physical beating and marks on your body and send them to a trusted friend. Then approach an NGO, who will guide you and help you with Legal Advice. Legal Advice in such cases is free and you will not have to pay anything. They may also help to bring pressure on the Police to file an FIR.

You seem to be educated (judging from your Post, which I did not have to edit), so it would be criminal and foolish of you to bear the physical violence in silence.

Just as you have taken the courage to write in here, you must take a decision to end it all. It is distressing to hear of such inhuman torture in this day and age.

Answer 7

Hi priya

Sad to hear what you going through dese days. Dear dnt bear it more call to delhi police women helpline discus the matter with them or use legal action against him for else for the life time he will use uh as sex object only ( sorry to say that word )and uh haven't mention that uh both have any child or not yet..? If not the better take the separation as it get too late fr uh

But still on other hand we can understand ur situations like uh can't take any action alone as ur family too pressurised... better take help of ur any close female friend whom uh trust blindly en go step by step against him

Answer 8

This is genuine question and needs serious  attention. Look he is 29 and he is not going to change in any way. Some times we have to take a decision which is needs urgent attention. He is a criminal so just divorce him having a good conversation with your parents and your parent's family. Make this issue very open of beating up and sexual harassment to all your parent's families.

Look after filling a divorce petition and showing proof of scars and neighbors who are watching this harassment, court will immediately take action and you will get a monthly living expenditure from him which he has to pay you till your death. If you have children he has to give all expense till they become adults.

After divorce if you want to marry another man then don't take chances. See that he is not having any Criminal record.

I feel you need to also talk to women's domestic violence committee. They have toll free numbers too.

But your case just divorce him your husband is a stupid fraud and alcoholic animal, just divorce him and you will be saved in your life .

We all pray for your fast recovery from him but just divorce him that's all.

Answer 9

I agree with Mr Pratyush answer >Give him chance .Try diff methods of sex Show your love to him If he has excessive sex drive ,nothing wrong All man has diff appetite Man loves blow job ,give him daily Find out cause why he is beating you .Do not deprive him in sex If you deny ,he may turn to other girls Would you like that ?
If you go for separation and remarriage ,you won't know what other man would be I do not advise you to go for separation .unless things get worst Before that do give him a chance I think he loves you .he is very much attracted to you You must be good looking and sexy This all tend to make him to have more sex .Give him love.sex and everything Win him completely

Answer 10

Hi,
 
Sex is to be enjoyed. All men have great desire to have sex. Do not deprive him of sex. He is your hubby so you have to fulfill his desires.

Am sure you too must be enjoying. Do not think he has excessive sex drive. One can have sex as much one can do. Do co-operate with him with full love. His drinking and beating will stop.

Give him your love.