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What is the best way to end my affair with my mother-in-law, without hurting her?

asked Jan 6, 2018 in Questions by Diwash (815 points)
edited Jan 8, 2018 by longhands1


I have been having an affair with my mother-in-law for quite some time. I think the time has now come for us to end this affair. But she isn't ready to end it. It's not that I am bored with her. I just dont want to hurt my wife with my affair.

When you start something like this you dont realise the dangers associated with it. You just think about the adventure, the fun that this kind of affairs bring initially. I dont want to hurt my Mom-in-law, but I dont want her daughter to discover that its her Mom who is sleeping with her husband. It will break her.

I love both my wife and Mom-in-law immensely. I dont want my Mom-in-law to feel that its over because I am fed up with her. How to call it off without hurting her? Any ideas?


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10 Answers

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Best answer

These are your words of wisdom "When you start something like this, you don't realize the dangers associated with it. You just think about the adventure, the fun that this kind of affairs bring initially". How true!!

What do you think? Women are like napkins that you wipe your hands on when you finish a meal or like a condom, that you deposit your semen and then throw it away? Women are creatures of emotion and when she has sex with you,  then she builds an emotional bond with her partner. She may be aware that the relationship has no future, but very few women have sex only out of lust and can switch off after having sex.

This is the other problem that I often speak about...having sex with a family member. You are bringing the problem right into your home and it is never easy to just wish it away when you are having sex with a relative. I do not say that there are no problems if you having an extramarital affair but at least you can be in some control if you have to call off the affair.

Is your Mom-in-law staying with you and your wife?

Your mom-in-law will not hesitate to create a scene and your wife will eventually get to know about the affair (remember, just as you love both of them, your Mom-in-law also loves you and her daughter). Actually, you are more worried about your wife finding out about the affair.

I suggest you continue as at present, though you will get caught sometime or the other. What you can do is reduce the frequency.
answered Jan 8, 2018 by longhands1 (93,455 points)
selected Jan 12, 2018 by Diwash
commented Jan 8, 2018 by Diwash (815 points)

I have stated clearly that she isn't like a diaper or a condom. I am emotionally attached to her and no matter how much I love her or want her the truth is that this affair cant be continued forever.

I don't regret having loved her but I don't want her daughter to look down on her. And Society to look upon her as a characterless woman if it gets disclosed.

She is a Divorcee and she lives with her younger daughter.
commented Jan 9, 2018 by longhands1 (93,455 points)

All noble thoughts. But you should have thought of all this about Society and character etc, before you got into the affair.

You are trying to move on...but by your own admission, it is one sided. If she does not stay with you, then why are you worried? You can control when you should have sex with her.

This is only going to get messier, unless you make a clean breast of it to your wife and seek her forgiveness. The fact that it has reached this stage, I suspect that your wife suspects something is amiss.
commented Jan 12, 2018 by longhands1 (93,455 points)
Diwash....Thanks for liking my Answer.
2 like 0 dislike
You cannot end it without hurting her as that is not possible so be ready to hurt her if you do not want to hurt your wife. You and your mother in law do not have a right to hurt your wife on your account as here only your wife is innocent person. You cheated on your wife with your MIL. Talk to your MIL about your feelings and let her know that you do not want to continue with her anymore as you realized that you are doing wrong thing with your wife and be ready to face her anger initially but if you stay firm on your decision to end the affair then at the end she will accept it and move on in her life without you.

There are even possibilities that she will blackmail you to continue with her but you have to be ready for the all the situations that may bring your wish to stop having sex with her and you should do it. I do not think your MIL would inform your wife about this relationship as in this way she will lose her daughter and you at the same time which she may not want but you have to be ready to face the worst case scenario.
answered Jan 7, 2018 by alpesh kapdi (28,825 points)
1 like 0 dislike
Your situation is understood. I want to check whether your father in Law is living, divorced or no more. Accordingly, you can fashion your life.

Considering your mother in law is alone, and your wife is dedicated to you .

Here you can plan to slowly explore your wife and convince her through sex stories between two females loving one man porn which shows attachment of two female with one man. Be very very specific in educating need of freedom of sex and be specific to the idea since in future you expect both of them to be together with you. Only such porn and stories to be suggested to your wife. Try for few days...look at your wife's behavior. If she cannot understand the situation because of ethics, rural thinking, tradition etc, then just live it and forget it.

If you are successful then your wife will agree and you all can live together and enjoy happy threesome life. Since your question has less info about your wife's approach to sex. The Answer is Just "quit relation with your mother in law " and be dedicated to your wife .

I am suggesting this because I am a big fan of FFM and already for few years I have relations with two women. I have mentioned this in an earlier answer to a widow friend on ASKANJALI. But in my case my Partner has agreed with my relation with these two ladies, so I don't have guilt. If you do things without permission of your wife this makes you in all trouble some times say irreparable damage to your wife .

Imagine if your wife comes to know and divorces you and live a psychotic life because of your deeds with her mother, she has all rights by law to divorce you on this incident and she will also hate and lose her mother. Imagine if she is open minded and allows you to maintain relation with her mother .

You are in the mildest of a big danger. It's your choice to decide life for both of them. Sex should not decide life. It is life and lifestyle of freedom which should decide life. Take both of them to freedom of thoughts then decide is it possible to have both of them on board, if not just live it and dedicate your life to your wife since she is going to live longer with love to you in your long  life .
answered Jan 7, 2018 by Lifewithfreedoms (945 points)
1 like 0 dislike

It will be very difficult to stop for sure. But not impossible. When in lust our logical mind usually stops working at its best. Hence even if you try to explain to you MIL your good intention it might not penetrate her mind.

Alternate route should be to find her your substitute. Do you have any other person in your family who could play that role? If not then you might have to get someone from outside which is risky but at times better option also.

Think about alternatives. And meantime try to leave her unsatisfied in sex, like do some sex position which is difficult for her to climax or you can early or cum on her body if she does not like it etc etc. This might make her loose the high sex drive from you.

Best regards

answered Jan 7, 2018 by Tangent (595 points)
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The only way to end this relationship with out hurting her is to give her pain during sex like bruise and bite her nipple, slap her during sex, in order to become afraid of sex

She will then avoid you and you can find another one... try it update us whether it worked or not..
answered Jan 7, 2018 by Tanzeel (275 points)
1 like 0 dislike
Discuss the matter with your mother-in-law and tell her that you are cheating your wife and she is cheating her daughter. This affair is hurting your conscience and you don't want to continue further.

I hope she will realize it and you can keep distance from her. You may kiss and hug her. She may do the same with you.
answered Jan 8, 2018 by Motilal (9,595 points)
1 like 0 dislike
Not much of a problem. You have to clearly explain this to your Mon-in-law. She would not want to spoil her daughter's married life.

Secondly, she might just want you to fuck her a few times more say for a month or so. There after she will agree to your suggestion. Remember there is nothing better than TRUTH and straightforwardness. It always pays.

If you do not succeed try and introduce your friend or somebody to your mom-in-law without giving any indication of your intent. Both of them may come closer. But this option is only if you fail in other alternatives.

Good luck.
answered Jan 8, 2018 by pklalgarh (155 points)
1 like 0 dislike
The best way is to make sex painful to your MIL by slapping biting etc. When your MIL feels the sex is always painful with you, she will avoid you.
answered Jan 8, 2018 by Sheel (250 points)
commented Jan 8, 2018 by Tuff (400 points)
What if the guy follows your advice, and the MIL gets addicted to BDSM? Then our friend will have a new, more aggressive affair on his hands?
0 like 0 dislike
First thing: Does your wife know about your affair with MIL? If so you may inform your MIL that her daughter's marriage with you is at stake.

On the other hand, you cannot end this relationship all on a sudden. You have to reduce your sexual interaction with MIL by stages. It might take a year or so, I assume. Gradually she will understand the situation and will be able to accept it.

In that situation she might ask you the reason - you may say that you want to save her daughter's marital interests with you but want to keep family tie with MIL as well.
answered Jan 9, 2018 by zena69 (1,875 points)
0 like 0 dislike
no problem I suggest you to discuss the matter with your wife and mother-in-law.
answered Jan 13, 2018 by like2suckchut (165 points)