Hope you are all well. I usually think deep about sex related issues - what has baffled, really confused me is the growing number of people thinking about getting intimate with their servants. I initially thought it's a risky business dealing with them especially after a top Bollywood actor faced embarassment in the media when his female help entraped and eventually ended his career by converting a consensual sex scene into a rape crime!
The role of the servant in typical Indian households is usually to wash cars, maintain garden plants or mop floors (room servicing) about two times a day. A neighbor actually had two servants, a couple who lived on top floor where the society has permitted a particular flat to be run as servants quarter. The female servant washed clothes, helped in cooking and cleaning while the husband took up physical jobs - such as bringing ration, kitchen supplies, fixing sinks and even the plumber jobs and all.
Now, naturally, the servant couple didn't use much of their furniture and in fact were treated like 'extended family' members, to the point where my wonderful neighbor Mrs S, had until now- borne responsibility of educating their seven year old son. I even saw her scold the kid as he skipped school. However, seeing her son being scolded (for his own betterment), the female maid (child's mother) had a horrible argument with Mrs S and as things spilled out of control- she ultimately sacked them and then requested the agency owner that to supply a new domestic help. I was sadenned to see them leave, especially because the bond between them all was pretty good.
Since I knew Mrs S well, she tasked me to check out the agency. The Agency then sent us many servants - men, women and even couples from remote areas around our city. Mrs S chose a female but at the eleventh hour, she didn't turn. The agency suggested a male servant for her family because as per his version unlike women, the men are more loyal and will stick long term and not think of marriage/kids/ selling foodstuff like the female counterparts. Also, the risk of theft is more with female maids than the men because some ladies work in group and share detailed info about owner's business or most attractive aspect of certain household.
Mrs S is still 50-50 about hiring one but as she knows that I live all by myself in parental property (with parents working in another country), she suggested that I could 'try a male servant' on trial basis but this trial basis is interesting scheme of the agency owner! He conveyed that if i am not satisfied by work ethic of a helper, he could replace the male helper with another one whereas the trial period is for one week only. That is, if he works fine-very well and good but see adjustments usually take time. A domestic may put on 'his best show' in first week and be on decline or fatigue in later weeks, so i find this option bit dicey..
Despite working, I hardly eat any thing greasy. My diet comprises of oats, milk, cottage cheese and whey proteins because it isn't time consuming to prepare them. Either the protein shake or the ladoos I make by myself. Now if i agree about hiring a male help, won't he find my eating habits boring?
Another related query is that: I must feed him three times meal, which may comprise of meat, rice, lentils and mix vegetables - something I am reluctant to do because my home isn't a charity ball. How can I convince him to eat somewhere outside but within close distance of home so that he can be punctual?
The situation this previous week was such, that my negotiation was ongoing with agency owner and he whatsapped me details (photo+verified profile) of helps who can cook, clean and if I offer live in permission - there is 15% discount on half yearly payment to agency. Mrs S spoke about unhygenic areas these men come from and employing even one can change their life for good.
With permission from agency owner, four male helpers spoke with me about their varied experience, including NGO's, a South Goan villa and one has worked in pantry services of Indian railway (the long distance trains). I cut out the desperate one's wanting to work soon, as they were so infatuated by my social app display picture, that I didn't care to think twice about blocking them.
The third query is, especially to some experienced users here - How not to send signals to male helper that I am not interested in developing sexual relations because it is inevitable that I will at some point, skip wearing conservative kurtis and put on tank tops-skirt/hot pants especially on weekends where I am mostly resting at home. In case certain clothing types turn him on, what can I do to possibly defuse the situation, not depict myself as a fuck doll he can have anywhere anytime or the ones available in their cheap areas!
On personal note, I am convinced about hiring a 42 year old person who's roughly- twice my age. The purpose from my side, is to help him gain financial independence so that he can atleast afford a one room kitchen anywhere in Mumbai. Will look forward to hearing response from you people.
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