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What precautions should I take in hiring a new male servant? I live alone.

asked Dec 6, 2017 in Questions by guruofalldivas (405 points)
edited Dec 8, 2017 by longhands1

Hi Members,

Hope you are all well. I usually think deep about sex related issues - what has baffled, really confused me is the growing number of people thinking about getting intimate with their servants. I initially thought it's a risky business dealing with them especially after a top Bollywood actor faced embarassment in the media when his female help entraped and eventually ended his career by converting a consensual sex scene into a rape crime!

The role of the servant in typical Indian households is usually to wash cars, maintain garden plants or mop floors (room servicing) about two times a day. A neighbor actually had two servants, a couple who lived on top floor where the society has permitted a particular flat to be run as servants quarter. The female servant washed clothes, helped in cooking and cleaning while the husband took up physical jobs - such as bringing ration, kitchen supplies, fixing sinks and even the plumber jobs and all.

Now, naturally, the servant couple didn't use much of their furniture and in fact were treated like 'extended family' members, to the point where my wonderful neighbor Mrs S, had until now- borne responsibility of educating their seven year old son. I even saw her scold the kid as he skipped school. However, seeing her son being scolded (for his own betterment), the female maid (child's mother) had a horrible argument with Mrs S and as things spilled out of control- she ultimately sacked them and then requested the agency owner that to supply a new domestic help. I was sadenned to see them leave, especially because the bond between them all was pretty good.

Since I knew Mrs S well, she tasked me to check out the agency. The Agency then sent us many servants - men, women and even couples from remote areas around our city. Mrs S chose a female but at the eleventh hour, she didn't turn. The agency suggested a male servant for her family because as per his version unlike women, the men are more loyal and will stick long term and not think of marriage/kids/ selling foodstuff like the female counterparts. Also, the risk of theft is more with female maids than the men because some ladies work in group and share detailed info about owner's business or most attractive aspect of certain household.

Mrs S is still 50-50 about hiring one but as she knows that I live all by myself in parental property (with parents working in another country), she suggested that I could 'try a male servant' on trial basis but this trial basis is interesting scheme of the agency owner! He conveyed that if i am not satisfied by work ethic of a helper, he could replace the male helper with another one whereas the trial period is for one week only. That is, if he works fine-very well and good but see adjustments usually take time. A domestic may put on 'his best show' in first week and be on decline or fatigue in later weeks, so i find this option bit dicey..

Despite working, I hardly eat any thing greasy. My diet comprises of oats, milk, cottage cheese and whey proteins because it isn't time consuming to prepare them. Either the protein shake or the ladoos I make by myself. Now if i agree about hiring a male help, won't he find my eating habits boring?

Another related query is that: I must feed him three times meal, which may comprise of meat, rice, lentils and mix vegetables - something I am reluctant to do because my home isn't a charity ball. How can I convince him to eat somewhere outside but within close distance of home so that he can be punctual?

The situation this previous week was such, that my negotiation was ongoing with agency owner and he whatsapped me details (photo+verified profile) of helps who can cook, clean and if I offer live in permission - there is 15% discount on half yearly payment to agency. Mrs S spoke about unhygenic areas these men come from and employing even one can change their life for good.

With permission from agency owner, four male helpers spoke with me about their varied experience, including NGO's, a South Goan villa and one has worked in pantry services of Indian railway (the long distance trains). I cut out the desperate one's wanting to work soon, as they were so infatuated by my social app display picture, that I didn't care to think twice about blocking them.

The third query is, especially to some experienced users here - How not to send signals to male helper that I am not interested in developing sexual relations because it is inevitable that I will at some point, skip wearing conservative kurtis and put on tank tops-skirt/hot pants especially on weekends where I am mostly resting at home. In case certain clothing types turn him on, what can I do to possibly defuse the situation, not depict myself as a fuck doll he can have anywhere anytime or the ones available in their cheap areas!

On personal note, I am convinced about hiring a 42 year old person who's roughly- twice my age. The purpose from my side, is to help him gain financial independence so that he can atleast afford a one room kitchen anywhere in Mumbai. Will look forward to hearing response from you people.

Great Thanks..!

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2 Answers

1 like 0 dislike
Best answer

Reading your question, I blinked. I had to look at the tag line of AA.

I began wondering from when had AA entered the business of providing Maids and Drivers and the intricacies of hiring them. The part about providing them a meal and what constituted a Servant Meal was quite laughable.

Fortunately, your third query made some sense and I breathed a sigh of relief ….knowing that AA had not changed and we were still in the Business of giving Advice on Sexual and Relationship issues.

It seems a bit odd, if you are a single woman and you intend hiring a Male Help to assist you in your chores. If he were a Driver and resided in the Servant Quarters, I would accept that. But you said he will not cook and wash, then what do you want him to do?

Men are quick to understand their limits and unless you drop some broad hints like having tired feet and wanting a massage, none of the Sex stories you may have read, is going to happen.

If you are going to wear hot pants in his presence, what would you want him to do? Turn the other way? You seem to have already made up your mind about being a “fuck doll” then you need to go the whole hog.      

Do you really think that a 42 year old man would have lost it? He is at an age, where he would be at his maximum sexual prowess.

Don’t decide what he will do to you. Decide what you want. That you will get.
answered Dec 7, 2017 by longhands1 (85,805 points)
selected Dec 9, 2017 by guruofalldivas
1 like 0 dislike
First of all you should know his bio data,address and contact number.Identity card with a photo is must.Your age is only 21,remain careful so that he may not seduce you for sex.Can you resist his advances? Hiring a person of 42,will not improve the situation and is not safe,from sexual point of view.You may utilize him to feel his manhood,if your morality fumbles.Nothing is safe,for a solitary women.Maidservant will be a better choice.
answered Dec 6, 2017 by Motilal (8,265 points)
commented Dec 7, 2017 by guruofalldivas (405 points)
Hi Moti,

I appreciate your reply.

The female maid is out of question. Since mine left for her village last month, she left a replacement who never turned up again. So as Mrs S said, it is unthinkable that I will clean home, wash the dishes.. these are things that I need to have done by somebody else.

The agency is somewhat reputed and has that common sense to verify helpers by default. Also, it is communicated to them by rules that they will not eat the same food that we eat, unless there is food left over (but i think, that's very outdated stuff). A helper cannot eat from the same vessel, so he'll dig in from a plastic made vessel and I am not sure if glass utensils could be well handled because they are somewhat exquisite.

Mrs S let me know that servants are made to sleep on the floor and may require mattress.. Also, they cannot use air conditioning facility and the shower at all but suppose- during summers if i switch on the air conditioner, should I push him out and say 'you enjoy and rot in the heat outside, come later'?

No.. that'd be so inhuman! I have been to our terrace, the floor beneath it hosts massive servants quarter and in fact, its reasonably large but totally occupied. One elevator in our society has a sign marked 'servant's not allowed', so there is policy of restricted entry.

I seriously disagree about fumbling morality because why suspect a servant in first place? The agency has done the homework, police understands and investigates into where they come from.

Also Moti, I have no intention to demonstrate ownership of an elder man. Servants unfortunately have this. I don't know, this hunted look of someone who acknowledges inferiority, which is so unnecessary!

So as conversations with him are ongoing, through the week he may not have time of his own. Will not walk out of home when I leave and provide snacks only when I come in. He has no hobbies as such but has asked if he can watch live cricket. I plan to pay good, give a room and provide good clothes, not old clothes ML but ones that make him look at least presentable. Old or torn clothes can show a lot of undesirable things, you know!

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