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My Friend (Girl) wants me to book a room in a Holiday Resort for Sex? Should I?

asked Nov 22, 2017 in Questions by ArunK1234 (150 points)
Hi Wellwishers,

I am Arun from Chennai. Recently I got my friend's (girl) contact after 5 years. Five years ago, I was studying in college and took a room separately along with my two friends. This Girl and her mother occupied a nearby house and was pursuing her HSC in a reputed school. At that age itself, she was committed to a guy who was  well known to her family and was 5 years elder than her. Her family and ours had a very good relationship. We completed our studies and vacated our room. I had no contact with them.

Now, after 5 years I got her contact and was happy to speak with her, casually thoughh, since her parents are awesome, very good character folks. Then she started messaging me frequently, asking me to come to her place to have a get to gether. I went there causally, since she was a good friend .

We went for a long drive in ECR, talking about old memories. Slowly, she started talking about her workplace and people in her office having extra marital relationships. We both discussed that and thought it was a wrong thing.
Then she started talking abt intercourse. She kept touching me while speaking. I got confused, whether this is usual or am thinking wrong? She told to drive to the beach. I refused, since it was already 10 PM. I dropped her at the hostel.

She then texted me saying next time we will book a room in the beach resort. First, I thought she was kidding, but then she kept asking me which date can we book the room?

Then I asked her, " Do you know What BOOK A ROOM means" ? She said " Yes I know". I told her, it was wrong and I didn't know she thought like this. She said, who told you it is wrong? I asked her if she was in love with me? She said I like you. I got angry and scolded her and advised her that it was wrong.

Then she apologized and startted crying and said, please dont think ill of me and dont stop talking to me as i am alone in this city. I told herr, it was ok. We all make mistakes.

Please Advise: Now, I am also interested. I did not show it to her because I was thinking about her future and that I should not mislead her).

I am single and have not yet touched a girl. I got few invites in the past, but I regretted those, due to fear. In my home they have started searching for a bride for me.

What do I do? Please advise. I am so confused. Help.

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8 Answers

1 like 0 dislike
Sex is a natural requirement of the body and if she willing to have sex with you and you want the same thing without any commitment then you can go for the sex as there is nothing wrong and you can enjoy her body. It seems that she is a sex starved girl and she finds you good man to have sex with you as she already knows you so she can feel safe with you. If you refuse her then she will find another man who is ready to have sex with her as her goal is to have sex and enjoy the intimacy.

If I were in your place then I would have fucked her already as who cares. However, before having sex with her set the boundaries and terms of having sex so you both are clear what you want. You should not think about your future wife as there are chances that she may be having sex with someone else right now and that is not a cheating as you what did before the marriage is not her business at all and you should not disclose your past to her as she was not the part of your life then.
answered Nov 23, 2017 by alpesh kapdi (27,745 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Hello Arun
 What is good ?what is bad? Whatever you r  doing if u likes's good..other wise it is per your conversation she is comfortable with you.she wants to spend time with you are also interested..just enjoy....
answered Nov 23, 2017 by dr kalyan (465 points)
commented Nov 25, 2017 by ArunK1234 (150 points)
Hi Dr.Kalyan,
Thanks for the Answer .
You see am 28 y . Everybody will fantasize these things . Some willl use it when get the chance . Some will think abt future. Am second category with the oscillation mind now bcos of Age Factor. If i want to do it - on that day itself when we go for a drive i  will be enjoying it rie ?
What to do now ? if we go then she should not blackmail me .,,
1 like 0 dislike
I think, you are too innocent to deal with such things, which that girl knows for sure. I feel that, the girl is trapping you. She will let you do sex with her and then will force you to marry her.

I will suggest you to spend some more time with her. Dig down, what she did in last 5 years and also about her past relationships. Try to understand her intentions behind suddenly coming so close to you.

Of course, if you have guts to overcome any kind of emotional blackmail, which she may do to you after doing sex, then GO AHEAD... and have fun with her.
answered Nov 23, 2017 by Rati.Anil (345 points)
commented Nov 25, 2017 by ArunK1234 (150 points)
Yes you are correct Rati . First i straightly asked her  that if you are trying for marriage or love then am not the person .. I told i wont come for room or resort . She is telling to go for theater or beach to have atleast a kiss .... What can I do now ? . I am so surprised of how she can be such brave to call me to her bed. my mind now is 80(not go) 20(go-bcos of my age ).
As of now her intention is to have sex , thats y she suddenly came close and felt that am trustable person.
I dont want to be in the Emotional Blackmail Trap .
Pls suggest .
commented Nov 29, 2017 by Rati.Anil (345 points)
Personally, I feel that you should not go ahead. Everyone starts with a kiss and ends up having sex.

Her intentions looks clear to get as much as possible from you. But if you are not interested in marriage or even a long term relationship then avoid her.
0 like 0 dislike
You are still bachelor,don't fall in a trap of a girl contact for five years.She seems to me of dubious character.Never go ahead for booking a room in Holiday Resort.Sex may be done in residence of either of you.Postpone this Programme and book it after your marriage.Never get confused.
answered Nov 23, 2017 by Motilal (8,265 points)
commented Nov 25, 2017 by ArunK1234 (150 points)
Yes Moti . I told i wont come for room or resort . She is telling to go for theater or beach to have atleast a kiss .... What can I do now ? . I am so surprised of how she can be such brave to call me to her bed. my mind now is 80(not go) 20(go-bcos of my age )
1 like 0 dislike
Ha ha!! take the invitation and enjoy. You are a lucky guy, definitely.  Take a couple of condoms, hopefully she will be on pills.
answered Nov 28, 2017 by zena69 (1,875 points)
1 like 0 dislike
Arun Kalidass
Too much analysis leads to paralysis. Honour her invitation and fulfil your interest. Take precautions.
answered Dec 6, 2017 by solliadi (3,200 points)
commented Dec 15, 2017 by ArunK1234 (150 points)
Hi Arun,

What should i do if she asks for marriage after Sex? How to deal with this ?
commented Dec 15, 2017 by solliadi (3,200 points)
You make it clear to her, before sex.
commented Dec 15, 2017 by ArunK1234 (150 points)
That I will make clear solliadi.

My actual question is: Even after making it clear, then after having sex if she compels me to marry her, then that's a problem right?

How to deal with this if that situation arises?
commented Dec 16, 2017 by solliadi (3,200 points)
What I understand is that you would like to have sex with her without any compulsion to marry her. I suggest you to first fuck your widowed sister-in law. What happened to her visit to your room. What happened to your lunch at her home.
commented Dec 16, 2017 by ArunK1234 (150 points)
Ha ha ha. I am very surprised Solliadi, that you went through my previous question. Thanks a Lot for your time to analyze who I am.  

I will come to this point now. Yes, I would like to fuck her without compulsion of marriage ( whoever @ this age will dream of this only) Even, I dreamed and fantasized about this - but wen situation comes, then I can see the problems and pressure).

Now about my SIL. I have not fucked her. I have not visited her home for lunch. Instead, she one day rushed to my home when no one was at home. I thought its casual. She asked straight away. Whatever I am going to tell next, NO ONE WILL BELIEVE . But that's the truth.

When she hugged me, I also got aroused. Had liplock, sucked her boobs, she put hands on my tool . This happened for 5 minutes. Then something came to my mind and I stopped and advised her to not have this kind of contact.

She too agreed half mindedly, then she left. Till now we have had no contact. This is what happened.
commented Dec 17, 2017 by solliadi (3,200 points)
With the change in your stand, you can approach your widowed sister in law and update us the status.
commented Feb 25 by ArunK1234 (150 points)
Hi Solliadi ,

I dont want to fuck her . But to know whether is she still  thinking to have sex with me ? I just texted her to come home. she is ready only ... then i tolld her i am having some work so dont want  and stopped . :)
0 like 0 dislike

I am glad to see you replying and giving comments to all the Answers that you get from our Users. So, I have decided to also give my Advice.

Are you a virgin? Have you never had sex before? This could be the reason that you are hesitating in going ahead and having sex. On the contrary, this girl had a relationship when she was much younger and may be a few more in the last 5 years. The fact that she initiated the idea of booking a Beach Resort indicates that she has made up her mind.  

I think you have made it clear to her that you are not interested in a long term relationship. If she also agrees, then there is no harm in bedding her and having a good time.

Actually, you are in the best position to gauge her intentions. Does she fleece on you and make you spend on her comforts. Try to find out about her past relationships and why she/he broke up?

Always remember that if you have doubts in your mind, that she will blackmail you, then those doubts are there for a reason and subconsciously you fear that it may happen. If you are confident that you can handle the consequences, then going to a public place like the theatre and having a kiss or fondling her boobs will not cause any harm. But it never ends with a kiss. You will like the experience and will want to experiment more.

Will you be able to stop, if you sense that you are being drawn to her emotionally? That is the question.
answered Dec 16, 2017 by longhands1 (85,805 points)
commented Dec 16, 2017 by ArunK1234 (150 points)
Hi LongHands,

Thanks. Am very closely following Askanjali.

If a person doesn't have Intercourse means that person is a "Virgin". Then I am a Virgin. If a person has done some kind of Sex activities and is  " not Virgin", then I am not a Virgin, since I had liplock with my SIL and my Friend who I am talking about.

I have already asked her about her past relationship and Sex. She replied that at that time she was  not much aware about sex and also did not have the guts. Regarding her break up, she said it was because of astro and from that guy's home, there was some opposition.

Also that guy was getting less salary than her so they broke up, but having contact with that guy like 6 months once or not contacting him. She felt more when they broke up.

In college too she studied in Girls college. She said that this was going to be her first time. (Usually I wont believe anyone that much so also with her).

I was clear and told her that we should not go till marriage as I am not interested in marriage with her. She too agreed.

I am in a dilemma that though she is saying OK for FWB relationship now, later on after Fucking , she may ask for marriage. I dont want to face those consequences as I have faced lots of struggles in my life .

As you said, I too loved that last Liplock which happened but I am fearing to move ahead. She is ready for me (I know she is not going with any one else, as she will highly see a persons hygiene) even tomorrow if my home or room is booked.

I am the person who is stopping her to from going forward. She is telling "That I want to Sleep with you " she also not ready for intercourse but chances may lead for intercourse right?

For your Last Question: "Will you be able to stop, if you sense that you are being drawn to her emotionally?

That is the question." From present situation I am able to stop. But  everything depends on that Situation.

Readers of my age one thing I can say :(Everybody will fantasize about Premarital Sexual Acts of different relation. But when that situation becomes True- It is really very hard to decide or to control.
commented Dec 17, 2017 by longhands1 (85,805 points)
I read your comments to Solliadi. Thanks for drawing my attention too. I had forgotten to read your first question.

You are not as simple and innocent that you are acting to be. You have admitted that you have been clawing your cousins earlier and had oral sex with your SIL. You have told me about the liplock with your SIL, but I am sure it was more than that.

So, considering the above background, you can satisfy your friend. She will always be grateful to you and will remember your services. Do not regret later that she got the service from someone else.
commented Dec 18, 2017 by ArunK1234 (150 points)
Hi LongHands1,

Regarding my relationship with SIL. Whatever I told in that comment, that's the only thing happened. Nothing more than that :) :)  .

Reason why I am not going forward with my friend is that she may emotionally black mail me to get married to her.

I too should not emotionally get attached with her, right?

commented Dec 18, 2017 by longhands1 (85,805 points)

You are right. When you get bad feelings that something may go wrong, then it is better to avoid that situation.

You do not want to regret your foolishness for the rest of your life. Generally when a woman is so insistent on having Sex, with a man, she has some motive in her mind.
commented Dec 19, 2017 by ArunK1234 (150 points)
:O is that True ?  sometime she may ask like ... "Then you wont come with me a ? or you wont contact here after a ? " am so hurted when she asks this . .

My heart is saying one thing and my mind is asking to proceed . Fine I have to stop or want to proceed . will decide and update you . thanks LongHands1
0 like 0 dislike
Look she is married now and you'r family is looking for a girl for you. Dedicate your time to getting married .You have a great future since you are virgin. After marriage see how you get a peaceful life when you have kept yourself virgin all these years.

After marriage, see what all changes are coming into your mind, according to this only decide to have an extra marital affair with your old friend if required.

Your friend is just looking for sex life may be her way of enjoying it with her husband is not going in proper way. I mean she is not following methods of proper foreplay, arousing techniques etc. If all women start going for extramarital affair then there will be lot of crisis in society. Look at good women around you. They are living for many years with one partner, because they are enjoying sex properly while look at few women who go with multiple partners. In each case they don't practice proper sex. Both get no satisfaction, so they again and again go to many partners just counting how many partners they have done sex with and how many rooms they have booked in life. Buy some Kamasutra book for your  friend and tell her to live a chaste life with her husband even if her husband has some disability or mind control problem they can consult a doctor get a happy life.  

Avoid sex with old friend but keep her in touch and I will say in your preference, But decide on intercourse after your marriage. After your marriage you will get a security in sex, then your mind will think maturely.

A man who gets good fresh honey at home will not go outside to taste honey left over by others .
I have replied taking into consideration you are a chaste man. As men, we need not satisfy all women who are welcoming for sex with them. Men also have a dignity .

So be loyal to your wife then life will give you all loyal and good things to you.
answered Dec 16, 2017 by Lifewithfreedoms (920 points)
commented Dec 16, 2017 by ArunK1234 (150 points)
Hi LifeWithFreedoms,
Thanks a lot for your time .
One thinng want to make clear is . She is not married .She is Single.
Whatever you said was correct . I was waiting till now without having any kind of sex act . But around me most of them are doing in a very very lite stuff. may be because of Envy am also thinking like that.
You r Rite "As Men we need not satisfy all women as we aHave a Dignity "
commented Dec 17, 2017 by Lifewithfreedoms (920 points)
Oh sorry could not take the answer to a proper way as she is not married then find out with her do she only require a sex life with you or permanent solution through out life..Find how much your mind says yes to live with her then decide its your beautiful life if she can say to take a resort room same she could have experienced with some one else.I would say just leave her aside for some time and get married first after marriage you will get a answer whether to go to her for sex .Since you are a virgin and good person in thoughts let your mind get satisfied first with a marriage life then your good mind will speak to you automatically say whether to go to your old friend or not.Its not only body enjoyments its also the  mind which also has to be taken care off.

Its not harming your perseverance in life before marriage  .Becoming used to more than one women require lot of cosmopolitan mind which you can gather by understanding women body theory ,man body theory acting on sex as a need only.
But I consider what ever a man go to many woman there should be a mind security in sex .I believe that when you have access to all things in life your find or anybodies mind becomes Normal.
  So just get married enjoy a healthy mind then you will get a healthy life and body ,peace of mind is more important before having or enjoying sex otherwise you know a restless mind cannot concentrate in sex and the sex becomes miserable and never ending room taking story around 80 percent of hotel rooms in Europe also country places  like Dubai are taken up by customers for private sex only .There is always uncertainty in India for check ups by police as illegal sex is not legal in Hotels and resorts be care full a hotel can be raided at any time .

Anyway I am not demotivating you I am answering accordingly feeling that you are a good minded man and you deserve a good life.
commented Dec 18, 2017 by ArunK1234 (150 points)
Hi LifeWithFreedoms,

You perfectly understood my Mind . Thanks a lot :'(  :'( .

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