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My Friend (Girl) wants me to book a room in a Holiday Resort for Sex? Should I?

asked Nov 22 in Questions by ArunK1234 (145 points)
Hi Wellwishers,

I am Arun from Chennai. Recently I got my friend's (girl) contact after 5 years. Five years ago, I was studying in college and took a room separately along with my two friends. This Girl and her mother occupied a nearby house and was pursuing her HSC in a reputed school. At that age itself, she was committed to a guy who was  well known to her family and was 5 years elder than her. Her family and ours had a very good relationship. We completed our studies and vacated our room. I had no contact with them.

Now, after 5 years I got her contact and was happy to speak with her, casually thoughh, since her parents are awesome, very good character folks. Then she started messaging me frequently, asking me to come to her place to have a get to gether. I went there causally, since she was a good friend .

We went for a long drive in ECR, talking about old memories. Slowly, she started talking about her workplace and people in her office having extra marital relationships. We both discussed that and thought it was a wrong thing.
Then she started talking abt intercourse. She kept touching me while speaking. I got confused, whether this is usual or am thinking wrong? She told to drive to the beach. I refused, since it was already 10 PM. I dropped her at the hostel.

She then texted me saying next time we will book a room in the beach resort. First, I thought she was kidding, but then she kept asking me which date can we book the room?

Then I asked her, " Do you know What BOOK A ROOM means" ? She said " Yes I know". I told her, it was wrong and I didn't know she thought like this. She said, who told you it is wrong? I asked her if she was in love with me? She said I like you. I got angry and scolded her and advised her that it was wrong.

Then she apologized and startted crying and said, please dont think ill of me and dont stop talking to me as i am alone in this city. I told herr, it was ok. We all make mistakes.

Please Advise: Now, I am also interested. I did not show it to her because I was thinking about her future and that I should not mislead her).

I am single and have not yet touched a girl. I got few invites in the past, but I regretted those, due to fear. In my home they have started searching for a bride for me.

What do I do? Please advise. I am so confused. Help.

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8 Answers

1 like 0 dislike
Sex is a natural requirement of the body and if she willing to have sex with you and you want the same thing without any commitment then you can go for the sex as there is nothing wrong and you can enjoy her body. It seems that she is a sex starved girl and she finds you good man to have sex with you as she already knows you so she can feel safe with you. If you refuse her then she will find another man who is ready to have sex with her as her goal is to have sex and enjoy the intimacy.

If I were in your place then I would have fucked her already as who cares. However, before having sex with her set the boundaries and terms of having sex so you both are clear what you want. You should not think about your future wife as there are chances that she may be having sex with someone else right now and that is not a cheating as you what did before the marriage is not her business at all and you should not disclose your past to her as she was not the part of your life then.
answered Nov 23 by alpesh kapdi (22,130 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Hello Arun
 What is good ?what is bad? Whatever you r  doing if u likes's good..other wise it is per your conversation she is comfortable with you.she wants to spend time with you are also interested..just enjoy....
answered Nov 23 by dr kalyan (315 points)
commented Nov 25 by ArunK1234 (145 points)
Hi Dr.Kalyan,
Thanks for the Answer .
You see am 28 y . Everybody will fantasize these things . Some willl use it when get the chance . Some will think abt future. Am second category with the oscillation mind now bcos of Age Factor. If i want to do it - on that day itself when we go for a drive i  will be enjoying it rie ?
What to do now ? if we go then she should not blackmail me .,,
1 like 0 dislike
I think, you are too innocent to deal with such things, which that girl knows for sure. I feel that, the girl is trapping you. She will let you do sex with her and then will force you to marry her.

I will suggest you to spend some more time with her. Dig down, what she did in last 5 years and also about her past relationships. Try to understand her intentions behind suddenly coming so close to you.

Of course, if you have guts to overcome any kind of emotional blackmail, which she may do to you after doing sex, then GO AHEAD... and have fun with her.
answered Nov 23 by Rati.Anil (265 points)
commented Nov 25 by ArunK1234 (145 points)
Yes you are correct Rati . First i straightly asked her  that if you are trying for marriage or love then am not the person .. I told i wont come for room or resort . She is telling to go for theater or beach to have atleast a kiss .... What can I do now ? . I am so surprised of how she can be such brave to call me to her bed. my mind now is 80(not go) 20(go-bcos of my age ).
As of now her intention is to have sex , thats y she suddenly came close and felt that am trustable person.
I dont want to be in the Emotional Blackmail Trap .
Pls suggest .
commented Nov 29 by Rati.Anil (265 points)
Personally, I feel that you should not go ahead. Everyone starts with a kiss and ends up having sex.

Her intentions looks clear to get as much as possible from you. But if you are not interested in marriage or even a long term relationship then avoid her.
0 like 0 dislike
You are still bachelor,don't fall in a trap of a girl contact for five years.She seems to me of dubious character.Never go ahead for booking a room in Holiday Resort.Sex may be done in residence of either of you.Postpone this Programme and book it after your marriage.Never get confused.
answered Nov 23 by Motilal (6,220 points)
commented Nov 25 by ArunK1234 (145 points)
Yes Moti . I told i wont come for room or resort . She is telling to go for theater or beach to have atleast a kiss .... What can I do now ? . I am so surprised of how she can be such brave to call me to her bed. my mind now is 80(not go) 20(go-bcos of my age )
1 like 0 dislike
Ha ha!! take the invitation and enjoy. You are a lucky guy, definitely.  Take a couple of condoms, hopefully she will be on pills.
answered Nov 28 by zena69 (1,480 points)
1 like 0 dislike
Arun Kalidass
Too much analysis leads to paralysis. Honour her invitation and fulfil your interest. Take precautions.
answered Dec 6 by solliadi (1,410 points)
commented 2 days ago by ArunK1234 (145 points)
Hi Arun,

What should i do if she asks for marriage after Sex? How to deal with this ?
commented 1 day ago by solliadi (1,410 points)
You make it clear to her, before sex.
commented 1 day ago by ArunK1234 (145 points)
That I will make clear solliadi.

My actual question is: Even after making it clear, then after having sex if she compels me to marry her, then that's a problem right?

How to deal with this if that situation arises?
commented 1 day ago by solliadi (1,410 points)
What I understand is that you would like to have sex with her without any compulsion to marry her. I suggest you to first fuck your widowed sister-in law. What happened to her visit to your room. What happened to your lunch at her home.
commented 12 hours ago by ArunK1234 (145 points)
Ha ha ha. I am very surprised Solliadi, that you went through my previous question. Thanks a Lot for your time to analyze who I am.  

I will come to this point now. Yes, I would like to fuck her without compulsion of marriage ( whoever @ this age will dream of this only) Even, I dreamed and fantasized about this - but wen situation comes, then I can see the problems and pressure).

Now about my SIL. I have not fucked her. I have not visited her home for lunch. Instead, she one day rushed to my home when no one was at home. I thought its casual. She asked straight away. Whatever I am going to tell next, NO ONE WILL BELIEVE . But that's the truth.

When she hugged me, I also got aroused. Had liplock, sucked her boobs, she put hands on my tool . This happened for 5 minutes. Then something came to my mind and I stopped and advised her to not have this kind of contact.

She too agreed half mindedly, then she left. Till now we have had no contact. This is what happened.
0 like 0 dislike

I am glad to see you replying and giving comments to all the Answers that you get from our Users. So, I have decided to also give my Advice.

Are you a virgin? Have you never had sex before? This could be the reason that you are hesitating in going ahead and having sex. On the contrary, this girl had a relationship when she was much younger and may be a few more in the last 5 years. The fact that she initiated the idea of booking a Beach Resort indicates that she has made up her mind.  

I think you have made it clear to her that you are not interested in a long term relationship. If she also agrees, then there is no harm in bedding her and having a good time.

Actually, you are in the best position to gauge her intentions. Does she fleece on you and make you spend on her comforts. Try to find out about her past relationships and why she/he broke up?

Always remember that if you have doubts in your mind, that she will blackmail you, then those doubts are there for a reason and subconsciously you fear that it may happen. If you are confident that you can handle the consequences, then going to a public place like the theatre and having a kiss or fondling her boobs will not cause any harm. But it never ends with a kiss. You will like the experience and will want to experiment more.

Will you be able to stop, if you sense that you are being drawn to her emotionally? That is the question.
answered 1 day ago by longhands1 (73,095 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Look she is married now and you'r family is looking for a girl for you. Dedicate your time to getting married .You have a great future since you are virgin. After marriage see how you get a peaceful life when you have kept yourself virgin all these years.

After marriage, see what all changes are coming into your mind, according to this only decide to have an extra marital affair with your old friend if required.

Your friend is just looking for sex life may be her way of enjoying it with her husband is not going in proper way. I mean she is not following methods of proper foreplay, arousing techniques etc. If all women start going for extramarital affair then there will be lot of crisis in society. Look at good women around you. They are living for many years with one partner, because they are enjoying sex properly while look at few women who go with multiple partners. In each case they don't practice proper sex. Both get no satisfaction, so they again and again go to many partners just counting how many partners they have done sex with and how many rooms they have booked in life. Buy some Kamasutra book for your  friend and tell her to live a chaste life with her husband even if her husband has some disability or mind control problem they can consult a doctor get a happy life.  

Avoid sex with old friend but keep her in touch and I will say in your preference, But decide on intercourse after your marriage. After your marriage you will get a security in sex, then your mind will think maturely.

A man who gets good fresh honey at home will not go outside to taste honey left over by others .
I have replied taking into consideration you are a chaste man. As men, we need not satisfy all women who are welcoming for sex with them. Men also have a dignity .

So be loyal to your wife then life will give you all loyal and good things to you.
answered 21 hours ago by Lifewithfreedoms (220 points)
commented 12 hours ago by ArunK1234 (145 points)
Hi LifeWithFreedoms,
Thanks a lot for your time .
One thinng want to make clear is . She is not married .She is Single.
Whatever you said was correct . I was waiting till now without having any kind of sex act . But around me most of them are doing in a very very lite stuff. may be because of Envy am also thinking like that.
You r Rite "As Men we need not satisfy all women as we aHave a Dignity "

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