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My nephew flirts with me. Should I respond?

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asked Nov 8 in Questions by Mitalid9 (125 points)
edited Nov 11 by longhands1

Hello friends,   

I am new to this site. My question is whether dating my nephew is wrong ?

I am a 38 year old, married woman very plump. I had an arranged marriage. My husband has his own manufacturing unit and so he is always busy. Six months after my marriage, I met my nephew.

Whereas all my Family Members never considered me for any function because of my hefty looks, this nephew was very kind to me. He helped me gelup with my in laws and we created a great bonding. After some days, whenever I had any work, I used to call him and he too was present on his toes to help me.

Even though I was plump. I used to wear thigh length nighty at home (this was only when my husband or my nephew were at home as I was comfortable with them). Once, I found him very gently touching my thighs, which I ignored. Once he hugged me from back and squeezed my boobs. I got furious but his casual smile made me cool down.

In a family wedding my husband had to go out of state for work, so he told my nephew to take care of me. During the entire wedding he was next to me and in post-wedding party, he tried to put his hands inside my skirts. I have a gut feeling he is trying to get on me.

If yes will it be right and also safe to date him? He is 24 years old and has finished his studies. He is a handsome guy and has started working in an MNC.

Please give me your advice.

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12 Answers

1 like 0 dislike
 
Best answer
Dear Mitali,

According to me, you are completely alone because your family members are not in good talking terms and your husband is busy in his work and in all this you got a nephew who has accepted you with all your faults ( you being fat is not a crime just love the way you are).

You said he touched your private body parts in wrong way, which ethically is wrong.

I would suggest is that you should stop your nephew at this very point before he crosses any limits. Do not hesitate to speak to him, and make him understand what he is doing is wrong but if he doesn't stops it you will complain to his parents and your husband too which can land him in big problem.

After making him understand, as you suggested you can be an aunt who will be like friend to your nephew. If everything goes right do not hesitate to go for movie or dinner with him ...

Cheers
answered 4 days ago by pakkd17 (400 points)
selected 2 days ago by Mitalid9
commented 4 days ago by Mitalid9 (125 points)
Thanks a lot dearest Pakkd17.

Finally someone got my problem right and also gave a resolution which is worth considering.

As per your suggestion, I am trying to talk to him. I am also hoping that he will understand and I will have the last laugh.
1 like 0 dislike
Mitali,

You have asked us whether you can date your nephew? Since you are married, obviously you cannot date someone. What you really want to know is whether you can flirt with your nephew and possibly have sex with him.

You have asked whether it is morally right to do so. The answer is No. But then we cannot sit in judgement and you will have to decide. You have not told us, how your husband treats you sexually.

You seem to be very conscious of your Plump figure. If there is something you can do about it, then do it, but if you cannot then just accept the way your Creator has made you. Be confident about yourself. If you like yourself then only others will like you.

Now, about the physical attraction. Deep down in your heart, you also have a thing going for your nephew. You are only trying to put the blame on him, so that you do not feel guilty. If you are confident that your nephew has the hots for you, then don’t think of the moral aspect. Having sex with a young man, will boost your confidence and make you feel on top of the world (besides lying on top of him).

But I must warn you, that most extra-marital affairs do end badly. The chances of being caught at some time or the other is very high. If you can handle your guilt and the consequences of being literally caught with your pants down, then go ahead. There is also a high possibility that you could fall in love with your nephew, which would complicate matters further.

Weigh all these and then decide.
answered Nov 8 by longhands1 (71,455 points)
commented Nov 9 by Mitalid9 (125 points)
I am not upset with my figure i am very much happy with my big body & most importantly my nephew likes me the way i am thats the only reason for attraction ...
No where in my question did i mention of having sex i asked he is flirty with me should i date him not fuck him ...
commented Nov 9 by longhands1 (71,455 points)
Mitali,

You did not say that you want to have sex with him. Agreed.

But why would you want to date him? Do you intend marrying him? You date someone, so that you get to know him better and then you want to have sex with them or you want to marry them.

You have to decide what exactly you want. Dating seems to be a lame excuse. You can flirt with him, but understand where you want to lead him. For a young man, the destination would be to get between your legs.

Do you want that?
commented Nov 9 by Mitalid9 (125 points)
Right from the day, I met him till now, I have never had a thought of having sex with him.

According to me (it may be different from person to person). Dating my nephew is to have fun with him like going for movies, dinner, coffee etc.

My actual query is not answered. My nephew is flirty with me. Should I just let it go within the limits up to hugs and kisses ...
commented Nov 9 by longhands1 (71,455 points)
Mitali,

So happy to hear that you don't have Sex on your mind. But can you say the same about your nephew?

You will be leading him on. It is not going to end with hugs and kisses.  This is what you said, "he tried to put his hands inside my skirts. I have a gut feeling he is trying to get on me".

Stop using the term Dating. Say, can I flirt with him? Yes you can. He has already given an indication of what he wants. Are you willing?
commented Nov 9 by Mitalid9 (125 points)
Could you please explain what according to you has he indicated ...

And yes you got that perfect .. can i flirt with him ??
2 like 0 dislike
If you want to start having relation with him then you have to keep in mind that you will never be his first priority as he wants to be with you for your vagina and he will use it as long as it is available or he gets something better than yours so if you are ready to start a relation on that condition then you can but at the same time you have to be very extra cautions that you will never get caught by your husband otherwise you know what may it brings in your life.

It is your right to get physical and emotional attention and since your husband does not provide it to you, you can seek it from outside secretly. If you start having sex with him then it is not a permanent thing as one day he has to leave you to be with his wife so you have to be ready for that also as you cannot ask him to keep having relation with you for the rest of the life.

It is clear that he took the advantage of your situations to get into your pants and it seems that he is getting success there as more or less you are ready to spread your legs for him. It is up to you whether to have sex with him or not as you have to deal with whatever consequences such thing brings in your life. Most of the time I am against when married woman asks the questions to get sex outside the marriage but here I do know why but I wish you would have sex with your nephew and enjoy your life and attention .
answered Nov 9 by alpesh kapdi (21,860 points)
commented Nov 9 by Mitalid9 (125 points)
I am not upset with my figure i am very much happy with my big body & most importantly my nephew likes me the way i am thats the only reason for attraction ...
No where in my question did i mention of having sex i asked he is flirty with me should i date him not fuck him ...
0 like 0 dislike
Hi MD,

Seems like your nephew is a perfectly nice guy and has got a fond liking for you. There is no issue, if you would like to go ahead with a date with him. But you need to be very sure that the next step is surely going to be physical intimacy.

Moreover you did not mention if you have kids or not. If your kids spot you in some place or compromising position your story will be leaked.

Moreover I have noticed women to be slightly chubby and they call themselves plump. This might give wrong impression to readers. But yes being plump does not mean one is not attractive, some people have a fetish for plump women.

I suggest you make up your mind. Do you like to reward your nephew with a casual date as you might just get addicted to this attention and love which you are not getting from your husband?

Best regards

Tangent
answered Nov 10 by Tangent (355 points)
commented Nov 12 by Mitalid9 (125 points)
Exactly on d point ... I am getting that love care and attention i want i need ... I can never think of doing something which will break everything ...
Yes even i say the same i want to make a good relationship with my nephew which he will treasure throughout life ...
commented Nov 13 by Tangent (355 points)
That s very good to hear MD.  
In fact I see the fond bonding between you two which you treasure.  But be aware that he is young and those ingredients which will always tend to go in the physical intimacy way.
Please keep posting on how you move ahead on this path .
Try to go out for a date where it is not a date but you two are alone. Then try to talk with each other on this aspect.
0 like 0 dislike
Hi Mitali.

I read your question.  So when you saying, that he puts his hands inside your skirt and you assume that he is trying to get on you and once he hugged you from back and squeezed your boobs and touched your thigh also.

Yes, you can date (going out for movies, coffee, Dinner) with him and there is nothing wrong going out for movie and coffee. But  do you think that when you will start dating (going out for movies, coffee, Dinner) with him  he will not try to put hands inside your bra and skirt ?

As per my understating, if you date him and he puts his hands, inside your skirt and squeezes your Boobs, then will he not ask for fuck?
answered Nov 10 by Ang (125 points)
commented Nov 12 by Mitalid9 (125 points)
That call will be in my hand he cannot force me and neither do i have such thoughts ...
0 like 0 dislike
It is never a good idea to fool around inside the family, since  family stays with you your entire life . On the other hand, having an affair with someone outside your family , inner social circle, is far more easier to handle.

Generally, women avoid taking risks...

And to me, the issue seems to be with your own sense of self-worth. You are better off figuring out how to reduce your weight and improve fitness, rather than trying to debate whether you should be having an affair with your nephew.
answered Nov 10 by blore.guy (305 points)
commented Nov 12 by Mitalid9 (125 points)
I request you to read again the question with open eyes and understand the difference between flirting and having affair
0 like 0 dislike
ya you can date him... and enjoy your life, Also take care of privacy and maintain secrecy about your relationship with nephew...
answered Nov 10 by Rahul4545 (115 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Its clear that ,he really wants to have sex with you.
The question is are you really for that.from the discussion, I think you might be also interested in him.you said that you intend to date your nephew and enjoy with him going to movies at beginning of discussion.but now ,you are asking can I allow him upto hugging and kissing?i think you might know why a man gets into a woman's skirt?my suggestion is, if you are really interested in him, you can proceed,but be careful . it's better to decide what do you really want to do with him.hope this helps.

Thanking you
Coolcracker.
answered Nov 10 by Coolcracker420 (635 points)
commented Nov 12 by Mitalid9 (125 points)
That's what i say is a very low thinking mentality ... An aunt and a nephew cannot hug or give a kiss its very very very casual and morally right also.
Its just a casual flirt and clearly no intentions of sex on my mind.
commented 6 days ago by Coolcracker420 (635 points)
Kindly read my suggestion once again to understand what I had written. I might have low mentality about nephew kissing and hugging his aunt.

A nephew can hug his aunt and even kiss her. It is very common and there is nothing wrong with it. You mentioned that "he hugged me and pressed my boobs, I became furious but I cooled down when I saw him smiling".

But I have minimum sense to know why a man keeps his hand in a woman's skirt and what is the meaning, when a woman was smiling, even after her boobs were pulled by her nephew.

The point is do you know? If not, can you even understand it?
0 like 0 dislike
Your husband is in abroad.He has authorised your nephew to take care of you.Nephew is interested in you and you could not stop his activities with you.It means you have developed some weakness for him.Do not deprive each other and go ahead with precaution.
answered Nov 11 by Motilal (6,020 points)
commented Nov 12 by Mitalid9 (125 points)
I suggest you read the question again properly before answering ... Nowhere did i mention my husband is in abroad secondly if u put a little stress on your eyes and read you will find my husband was just not present for a family function and he was just in another state for a day or 2 ...
I just need someone to share feelings talk and keep myself cheered up and again no where it is mentioned i need him on the bed...
commented 5 days ago by Motilal (6,020 points)
reshown 4 days ago by longhands1
Be polite in your wordings.Abroad...I meant away from home.Husband told your nephew to take care of you.He is flirting you...he has touched your thigh and hugged you and squeezed your boobs......inserted his hand in your skirt.You should have felt Shame in exposing yourself here.You relished his activities therefore,there is no point in seeking our advise.
0 like 0 dislike
Mitalid9,

Why do you want to date your nephew? My answer is that you want to boost up your image among your kith and kin. If my understanding is correct, lure any one or two girls, sisters of this boy or someone else, to have friendship with you and boost up your voice among your circle.
answered 6 days ago by solliadi (1,295 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Dear M,
You are in serious relation with your husband but you got another offer to celebrate. Celebration is good as it gives us ample opportunity cheer up. How date is possible? You can have sex with her. As you rightly said that he has bird’s eye in your assets. If you are serious then have a relation but keep in mind on the consequences. When he will taste you then he may demand more and more so, be prepared to accept this type of challenges. Its obvious that the moral value involved in it but your happiness and desire are also important.
answered 5 days ago by bubu_002 (2,735 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Hi,

I have gone through all your comments and discussion. Its food that you just want to flirt with him and not sex, but is it the same from the other end.

I doubt it. Most guys think between their legs, but maybe your nephew is an exception. So to find out the real truth just sit down casually with him and decide your date or maybe a movie, but tell him clearly about your limitations and his boundaries.

Then check his reactions, probably you will get your answers.
answered 4 days ago by letschat0921 (815 points)

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