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My Wife has Fantasies about Swinging. I cannot even think about it. What to do?

asked Sep 24, 2017 in Questions by obsoletemule (125 points)
edited Sep 25, 2017 by longhands1


I've been married for 8.5 years. Last year, I caught my wife in an affair with her elder cousin Brother and was devastated but somehow managed to keep our marriage intact.

Things improved between us since then and just to test my wife, I casually asked her whether she would still like to be with other men. To my surprise she replied in the affirmative. I got confused and to dig out more details, asked her to share her fantasies, which again took me by surprise!

My wife is suggesting that we indulge in swinging as she wants to see me with other women!!! I don't know how to handle the situation, I just don't see myself with other women. I'm not sure whether continuing with our marriage was right decision or not.

Please tell me what should I do? If I say yes to her demands, how do I bring myself to be with other women and have sex with them?

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3 Answers

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Dear friend....

You both are responsible as husband-wife. As per your statement,  it is clear that  you love your wife a lot and do not want any affairs of your wife with other.

But my dear friend, tell me, did your wife neglect you ? Did less love to you ? Does she  neglect her children ? If not, it is true, that she also loves you and her Family and does all her duties devotedly.  She is a very good woman. You have to keep full faith in her.  

It is 9 years for your marriage.  Your relationship is already tested. So do not  doubt her. She wants some change, she want a little bit of enjoyment. It is not bad. So many couple now a days are doing this.   You have to feel proud that your wife has openly told you that she wants to see you fucking other lady. Very few woman say so.

Your wife is a very lovely and a faithful woman. If she wants some enjoyment, you arrange threesome or foursome.  Enjoy life fully and love your wife. You also feel happy and will enjoy when you see other guys love and romancing your lovely wife. Then you both guys will love her.
Do not take any thing seriously. Love wife and enjoy life, give her full freedom to enjoy  her own way.
answered Sep 25, 2017 by nneha (325 points)
selected Sep 25, 2017 by obsoletemule
commented Sep 25, 2017 by obsoletemule (125 points)
Thanks for your reply, appreciate your point of view!
0 like 0 dislike
Everyone has a right to fantasize but that does not mean that they have to go for the reality in the relationship when other partner is not ready for it so here since you are not ready and not into swinging you should refuse to act on her wish and let her know that you do not like this so she should control herself for the sake of the married life. Let her know what are the things that are deal breaker things for you and she should make sure that she will not cross the limit otherwise she has to ready to face the dire situation like divorce.

It is time for you to set the boundaries in the relationship and she should respect it if she wants to be in the married life. The separation is not an option as you should keep in mind that you yourself asked her to reveal her fantasy to you and she did so you cannot hold her responsible for anything since she did not do anything in real.
answered Sep 25, 2017 by alpesh kapdi (28,170 points)
commented Sep 25, 2017 by obsoletemule (125 points)
Thanks for the answer, appreciate your point of view.
0 like 0 dislike

What happens when you put your hands in a bee-hive? You get stung. Or what happens when you gently tickle a woman’s vagina and finger her clitoris? She will get wet and want to have sex.

You have done the same thing. By asking your wife about her fantasies, you have awakened her hidden desires. I think she was bold and hones in revealing what she fantasizes while having sex.

Marriage is based on Trust. While your wife could have broken your trust when she had the affair, she would have asked for, forgiveness and would have shown repentance. But I would say you have broken her trust, by again casting doubts on her. Often results of a “Test” can be hard to swallow. It is best, at times not to rake up old issues.      

Since you have now opened the Pandora’s Box, you will have to find a solution to this. It is obvious that either your wife is still having a clandestine relationship or she wishes to get into one. All of us have some fantasies and Sex becomes more exciting when you fantasize. Her argument that she wants you to have sex with other women, is only a reason for her wanting to experience the same.

You will have to seriously rethink how far you are willing to go, to save your marriage.
answered Sep 25, 2017 by longhands1 (87,835 points)
commented Sep 25, 2017 by obsoletemule (125 points)
Thanks for your reply, I appreciate your point of view.

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