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I got a Job on the recommendation of my Mom's Ex Boss. Seems they are having an affair.

asked Aug 22, 2017 in Questions by (130 points)
edited Aug 22, 2017 by longhands1

I am 24 yrs old. My mom is 49 and dad is 50 years old. Recently, I got a job in a private MNC with a good package as well. Thing is that my Mom's ex boss had put in a strong recommendation for my hiring.

This was ok for me but I read their whatsapp message some days back and was shocked. Many times he has called her to meet him at his home when his wife was away and many times he messaged her some hotel address too.

Mom and dad have a normal marriage but I dont think they have sex anymore. Reading her messages with her boss made me see that she is having an affair with him and has definitely had sex with him.

Now I feel guilty that mom had to sleep with her boss inorder to get me a job.

I am confused... should I tell dad about this or speak to mom or not do anything at all?

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9 Answers

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Hi dear,

Don't take this matter very seriously. He's your mom's ex boss, there might have a good friendship between each other.

As you mentioned that you got job by his reference. Yes its because of your mom. She has tried her best to give you a job. That's why she might have frequently visited him.

What you have seen in Whatsapp, I don't know. But don't blame yourself that she has slept with him because of you. Don't get depressed, think maturely. She might have slept with her ex boss, But there must be a reason behind it.

May be your dad is not giving that pleasure that she wants or she is not satisfied by your dad. Whatever don't worry and don't inform your dad and don't try to talk with her. The situation will be ugly. So let her do what she is doing, it's her life.

She can live the way she wants. And you focus in your new job as you have a long way to go.
answered Aug 23, 2017 by dashing prava (420 points)
selected Aug 24, 2017 by
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Yes she is having an affair else they don't go to Hotel.

Just speak with your mom so your heart will be feel better but don't talk to dad as it will mess the situation more
act maturely if your mom confess and agree that she has affair then pls tell her to stop and bring the dignity in relationship as mom and wife to your dad.

Tell her you want to see dignity back as it is giving you bad message and poor role model

saying this and hope she will understand , but its very important you talk her privately outside house.
answered Aug 22, 2017 by simple_man (160 points)
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My guess is 'the affair' is not the result of you being recommended for a job, it goes before that.

Now what do you want to do next ?

You mentioned three options :
1. Telling your dad.
2. Confronting mom.
3. Do nothing.

Well 3rd isn't an option since every human kid is bothered if one of his parent is involved in EMA. People will say 'thats none of your concern, it's her life' but that's totally wrong. Won't your parents get involved when you plan to get married ? Family members do have the right to get involved and ask questions.
Also if you were to choose 3rd.... you won't have bothered letting it out here, right ?

So now the choice is between 1st and 2nd option.

I say confront your mother and ask for an explanation. Catch her lies cause she'll try to bluff you even in making confessions. If she says 'its just for your job, a kind of payback', say you know it goes beyond that and you know everything. This way she'll be left with no option but to come clean, totally. And as for telling your dad, convince her to confess in front of your dad. If your dad is a good person who loves his family and lives for you two, he deserves to know... otherwise it's backstabbing.
answered Aug 23, 2017 by gr8gaur (1,900 points)
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They are having an affair and you can do nothing about it. If you inform your father there will be chaos. If you really want to do something than just ask your mom if there is something that she wants to tell you about her and her ex boss?

She will tell you the answer most probably. Inform her boss that this should end here. If she does not then there nothing much you can do.
answered Aug 23, 2017 by myselfarun (1,045 points)
1 like 0 dislike, Congratulations for getting a nice job with good package! You have not done or not doing anything wrong. You are pretty confident that your mom did have sex with her boss. And their interaction also points towards it. But now grow up man! Try to look at her as an individual. She too have desires and wishes. There is a full possibility that they are having consensual physical relations. Those could have started while she was working with or'under' him . And also most probably no force would have been involved And as one good turn deserves another he would have helped you to pocket this nice job to you. But remember if you have been hired by MNC then they would not have offered you a job if you would not have fulfilled their preliminary  criteria ! So dont be such narrow minded.
  And also never reveal this to anyone including your father. He would not have been in need of sex at this age but your mom could still have been needing it So she is getting her need fulfilled by her ex boss. Best of luck!
answered Aug 23, 2017 by prashant69 (7,010 points)
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From your message you can be sure that your mom has a sex encounter..same thing has happened to my friend as he also knows and has accepted both.. (even that uncle comes and stays frequently at his home).

You can inquire secretly, since how long its going on and tell your mama...Bro you can show your support to both as you got job due to this.

Tell us if you're happy with this or not..

Please don't be stressful as this is very common nowadays..
answered Aug 23, 2017 by rohan_incestspark (115 points)
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Hey, I don't care what other says but this is my opinion.

As your mom goes to her ex boss's house and hotels too, it certainly clears they aren't playing ludo together. Yes they are having sex for sure.

Does your father know this? I think before you tell this matter to your father first you should talk with your mother. Ask her what is going on and if she is having sex what is the reason. May be she does it for her pleasure or may be she gets something in return from her ex boss.

You ask your mother first and then tell us what happened and we will give you our opinion on that matter.
answered Aug 23, 2017 by Harsh.03 (610 points)
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Every mom will be helpful for their son.. so ... please dont do that.

Even for helping me to join Tuition classes, my mom slept with her boy friend so its common.

Moms too need enjoyment.
answered Aug 30, 2017 by mithun mike (140 points)
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Hi sam,

I find you are very open minded and an understanding guy. You have written in other post that these days our moms have several sex partners for fun. Then why are they not open minded that much? I find it very difficult what our parents taught and what follows in their real life behind our back.

Man, If I were you, I would have talked to her. My intention is to know them and what they are? I would not accept their lies. I will accept them how they are, and protect their secrets. But if still they lied behind my back, then it would be very difficult for me to maintain the relationship with my mother.

Don't you think children will lose interest in parents, after finding out their affair. Will children respect their parents like before? Will children take parent's advice when they give moral values about affair / relation ?
If parents has open talk with children don't you think it will create + ve result in children life?? Believe me,it will.

My point of view is parents should be the first, most preferable, most trusted friend. These days parents do share so many things except sex, relationship. I know many people will show red flag to me, but I think the time has come. Parents should  share everything in theirs life including sex. It will create more matured, open minded people who will understand about others sexual need.

In any happy relationship "  None of your business" is not a helpful word. If you want a good relationship with your family, I think it is better to use these word " it is my business as you are my son / father, lets talk about it"
answered Nov 28, 2017 by Kitkatray (355 points)

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