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My hubby and my Girlfriend want to continue having sex. I want them to stop. How?

asked Aug 11, 2017 in Questions by meesha (245 points)
edited Aug 14, 2017 by longhands1

I'm a 30 year old married woman. Ours was an arranged marriage. My husband gave me time to settle down with him before initiating physical intimacy but I somehow never could come in terms with sex at all.

I had never had intercourse and always avoided any sexual advances of my boyfriend before marriage too, giving the excuse that I wanted to do it after marriage only. But even after marriage my problems have remained the same. I never enjoyed sex, so I never let intercourse happen between us leading to my hubby becoming very frustrated.

A very close friend of mine, knowing my problem offered to help me out. The arrangement was that she would come over and seduce my hubby and have sex with him. I was convinced it was the best thing, as I didn't have any sexual attraction and I wanted both of us to be happy. I also knew divorce was not the answer.

One evening, my friend came over to my house in my absence, as we had planned and was able to have sex with my hubby. She later told me it was quiet easy as hubby was sex starved and they had sex 3 times. I was pretty shocked at their stamina but was in a way happy. When I reached home, he didn't tell me anything.

This went on for a couple of months and my friend had accepted a marriage proposal but told me outright she wanted to continue this arrangement after her marriage too. I was alright with this 'outsourced' job but got curious and once decided to check them out when they were doing their session.

I spied on them with assistance from my friend through a louvered walk in the closet door. I told her to make sure he didn't walk in and catch me watching. Seeing them having sex was probably the hugest turn on, I ever had. My pussy was wet within minutes and I fingered myself which I had never done before. I was quiet surprised that I wanted to be in the bed and get fucked by hubby so very desperately that evening but of course I couldn't. I watched their Sex sessions, and they were amazingly hot and wild. My friend knew that I was watching and kept looking in my direction with her sly suggestive smile as she sucked him and fucked him.

After this got over, I was horny as hell and initiated sex with my surprised hubby late in the night. He looked at me thinking I was crazy and we fucked. His stamina was amazing and I was slightly in pain as I had never been fucked  before, but I was too turned on, it didn't matter.

The other day, I called up my Friend wanting to call off the arrangement. I was very jealous and possessive about my husband. But she started yelling at me and told me she would continue fucking my husband. I was quiet shocked. I confided with my hubby and though he was shocked, that I knew all about him and my friend, he told me that he wanted to continue too.


I was in tears. I know I am to be blamed for all this. I have lost my rights on my hubby. He of course likes to fuck me, which I desperately want him to. I don't know why I didn't let have sex with me before. Maybe it was the fear of getting penetrated. I thought that I could stay without sex forever, but now my thinking has changed. I'm left feeling all possessive and jealous as hubby and my friend do it in my knowledge and without my permission.


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8 Answers

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Best answer
I will give you my Advice. You may not like it. But do give it a thought.

I am sure just speaking about your problem here and putting it in writing would have helped you to overcome some of the pain and anguish you feel.

Do not blame yourself for what happened. Look for a solution.

I can see three possibilities.

First one you have already said No to. Divorce. Often when there seems to be no resolution, Divorce seems to be the best solution. But it is the most difficult. Also the reasons that you had thought about earlier, no longer hold good. You were afraid of Sex and penetration. Now you seem to love it. Your earlier concern was seeing your Husband happy and now that he has sex with you, that should make both of you happy. So Divorce is out. There are no grounds that you will be able to put forth.

The second is to try to convince your husband that you love him and will not share him with another woman. The past is the past. Make your husband the focus of your life. Do everything that he wants. Spend as much time with him as possible. Give him so much sex that he will not need to look outside the home. Be the opposite of what you were. Your peeping sessions would have thought you, what he likes in sex. Do that with a vengeance. Take care of your appearance. He needs to be convinced that you are better than his mistress.

But this is easier said than done. When a man tastes another pussy, it is difficult for him to forget the flavor. Since he is getting the variety easily, why should he give it up. Also, sex over time builds up a bond and now it may not be the physical grinding that he wants. But the mental bonding. Did they kiss a lot while making love? This would show mental bonding. You can also hope that things will change after your friend gets married. That time you will have the sword of revealing all to her husband. This could become messy though.

The final solution, that you too have suggested is to let things go on as before. But I have a little twist. You may not like the Advice, but give it a thought. A threesome. Since you have sex with your husband and your girlfriend has it too. Think of having it together. You may think I am mad. But this will solve all your problems. You could even be in control. You will have to overcome your jealousy, which is difficult. But having already participated in it (when you were peeping), things may not be so difficult. This way all of you benefit. Your jealousy will disappear. You will have great sex and so will your husband. Give it a thought.

Do not even think of having an affair. You will not be able to handle it. An affair as a revenge is bound to fail and lead to more complications.
answered Aug 11, 2017 by longhands1 (85,850 points)
selected Sep 5, 2017 by meesha
commented Aug 12, 2017 by meesha (245 points)
hi longhands,
thanks for replying and understanding my problem.
I'm not going to be as good as my friend in bed. she had been doing sex since she was a teen.. she knows how to excite men even without touching them..i can't compete with her..
so i have understood my hubby probably won't leave her until she doesn't.. and she already has got an opportunity to get into bed with another man.. she won't leave it now.

i am not open to threesome..i am too jealous to see her again in my bed with my hubby. i know he enjoys her more..i can't be in a bed with a pro when I'm a novice.. it's a bad option.

affair on the other hand can give me access to getting a equal opportunity. if he can have two women, i feel i should do the same do that I'm at peace mentally..
i don't need an emotional bond..

i have spoken to him that we only concentrate on our relationship, but he had told outright he wants to continue doing sex with my friend.
commented Aug 12, 2017 by gr8gaur (2,565 points)
That's it, Brilliant thought !  for a moment I felt like you stole my thought. Make it a level playing field, if a man can bed 2 women so can a woman. Do it and I guarantee tables will turn.
commented Aug 13, 2017 by longhands1 (85,850 points)

Who said you have to compete with the other woman? I had said join her.

Do you really think that having an affair will solve your problem? It will create more problems for you and will definitely distance your husband away from you.

Revenge is never a solution, though some may think so.
commented Aug 13, 2017 by meesha (245 points)
right.. I'm considering the same..
even if he understood that i did it for his happiness then, he should have stopped it.. he became opportunistic unfortunately..
commented Aug 13, 2017 by gr8gaur (2,565 points)
Well that leaves you with just two options, get even and who knows you find someone better than your hubby and you can enjoy despite being married in a non-committal EMA.

Or, you ask for thressome which obviously comes at the cost of your dignity and self respect much like a surrender. Maybe I'm wrong but you don't seem like you can handle a threesome if you weren't interested in the regular, ethical intercouse in the first place. For majority, its the same old '2s A COMPANY 3 IS A CROWD'.

commented Aug 14, 2017 by longhands1 (85,850 points)

Do you think it is wise to rock the boat at this stage? Whatever you do now, will precipitate matters. If you had an affair, would it be for love or for sex?

Remember, your hasty action can result in doing the opposite of what you want. Your husband may distance himself further from you.

I would say, have lots of sex with your husband and wait for your friend's marriage. Things will work out.

Time is a great healer.
commented Sep 7, 2017 by longhands1 (85,850 points)

Thanks for liking my Answer. We are happy to see you comment on the Answers that you got.

Be patient. Things will work out. Good Luck.
0 like 0 dislike
Your friend has already accepted a marriage proposal. Naturally all the equations, determinations  will change once she get her pole.
You will also get a reason to stop it as her future husband will know.
I put a famous saying:
This too will pass.
answered Aug 11, 2017 by solliadi (3,210 points)
commented Aug 12, 2017 by meesha (245 points)
it won't change... she doesn't mind enjoying two of them.. she had been promiscuous always.. which is why i agreed to let her get into my bed.. knowing she won't bond emotionally.. unfortunately she loves getting fucked by him too much to discontinue the agreement.
0 like 0 dislike
Heard a lot of stories by male cuckolds but then there's always a first time, and here we have a lady who cuckolded herself.

Anyways, what's the big deal in this ? They want to continue but you don't, tell her (your friend's) would be hubby and would be in laws everything. Threaten her that you'll tell her family about all this. 'GHEE SEEDHI UNGLI SE NA NIKLE TO YA UNGLI TEDHI KARO YA FIR CHAMMACH SE NIKALO'.

(editor please don't edit this vernacular phrase)
answered Aug 11, 2017 by gr8gaur (2,565 points)
commented Aug 13, 2017 by meesha (245 points)
it won't resolve the issue i feel.. since my hubby is already habituated of another woman, i doubt it would stop him for getting into another affair.
plus she can threaten me the same too.. of revealing everything.. and that shall make things more difficult than for her..i was the one who gave access to my hubby..
commented Aug 13, 2017 by gr8gaur (2,565 points)
Okay, idea isn't feasible. But think about this, who's gonna believe her ? You know she has been a nympho in the past and she is today. She would lose her face, dignity and everything.
commented Aug 14, 2017 by meesha (245 points)
she is a dear friend.. I'm not gonna do anything to screw her life.. and respect..

she ended up with my hubby only because i let her.. but she probably couldn't stop as my hubby is a nice and well endowed man..i can't expect her to stop like a switch..
0 like 0 dislike
there no need to become panic.
Let's cut this whole situation piece by piece.
As you said you had a bf before marriage but never had sex with him before marriage because of some moral ethics whatever. this wasn't good or bad. moving on you get married but your husband gave you time to settle. It's very hard to get in new surroundings. but did your husband help you to become settle, comfortable with new surroundings. It not look that. so you had fear of sex.

next one of your friend offer help to you and had many sex sessions with your husband. before even thinking odds and evens you accepted it. and you also said that you thought you can stay without sex. are you robot or what???
this is your mistake.

very human being want sex no doubt it.
as your husband knew that you made this plan and now he wants to continue and on the other hand your friend also want to continue. One thing is sure man wants to fuck 24*7. your husband can fuck you and your friend. and note that he loved that. either you are okay with that or not but he will do this.

so whats to do? this may feel somewhat crazy idea. as they said ice break ice. means one mistake can be undone by another mistake.
first it was your husband's job to make you feel comfortable so both of you enjoy some good time. but he failed to do so
your husband seem comfortable with your friend. he may be comfortable with you but you are not. so you need to become comfortable. but you need to find new sex partner. the guy should make you feel comfortable so you can enjoy good time. learn some moves. and then try to win back what right fully yours.
this may be another mistake but you must planed well and do things in controlled manner so you can have good future.
I hope you understand what I'm saying. keep us updating on your scenario so we can give you suggetions time to time
answered Aug 11, 2017 by Harsh.03 (1,030 points)
commented Aug 12, 2017 by meesha (245 points)
I'm slowly considering the possibility.. mebbe even discuss this with my hubby to see if he can be alright with me being in bed with somebody else. i don't want to disturb my married life of course especially for sex. but the whole feeling that he is enjoying my friend too is killing me.

your suggestion is in my mind..i might want to give it a try but I'm not sure of the implications which hold me back.
there's some sanctity of marriage which i feel bound to uphold but seeing around me, there are quiet a free i know who freely are involved in affairs which is changing my mindset too
0 like 0 dislike
You can only make them stop having sex if they willing want to do it so you have to be patient and let the right time come where they themselves stop having sex with each other. Once your friend would get married it would be difficult for her to have sex with your hubby as she might not be able to do all those things which she used to do it before marriage with your hubby.

I do not think you can make them stop by just asking them that now you are ready for the sex so she should back off because she helped you were in need so you have to help her as she is need in of sex. You made such an arrangement where they hold hands above you. You made a mistake so you have to pay the prize for it as there is no other option.
answered Aug 12, 2017 by alpesh kapdi (27,770 points)
0 like 0 dislike
There is only one thing that u can do now yes u r to be blamed for this but it does not mean u cant di anything. see get over this possessiveness and allow them to fuck i ma sure you are gorgeous lady you can seduce anyone too as ur friend have a bf for urself sex with him and if your hubby findsout about this simply say i told you to stop this but u denied now if you can continue so can i :)

He will stop doing if he cares for u else you too csn enjoy without any hasitation pleasure is pleasure.
answered Aug 12, 2017 by myselfarun (1,850 points)
0 like 0 dislike
I think you have committed a gross mistake,in bringing your friend in between you and your hubby.They took the advantage and you are no where now.Talk with your friend and hubby separately.Try to find out amicable solution otherwise threesome is the only alternative solution.
answered Aug 12, 2017 by Motilal (8,290 points)
0 like 0 dislike
hi Meesha,

i understand and somewhat related with your situation.
i can only suggest that you try to open up to the idea that there are more men you can enjoy as your husband hasn't reciprocated that you did it in good faith.. for good happiness.
you can also enjoy a fling.. and even be open about it.
I'm sure the more sex you have, the more enjoyable it shall become for you until you become as good as your friend, after all it's all about practice.. and you can win back your hubby too in the same way.. cheers and chill..
answered Aug 13, 2017 by wick007 (460 points)

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