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My Cousin is having extra marital relations. Should I tell her parents about it?

asked Jul 10, 2017 in Questions by Abhi Asha (120 points)
edited Jul 13, 2017 by longhands1

I live in a small town in Jharkhand. My maternal uncle lives in state capital of Jharkhand, which is about 200 Kms. away from my hometown. He has 4 daughters.

I used to go to my uncle's home frequently when I had to appear for competitive exams as all the centres for examination were located in capital city. Since the youngest daughter and I are of same age, we used to have conversation in a very frank manner. I used to hold her hand with brotherly love during interaction and I never had any kind of bad intention in my mind towards her.

But I noticed that during out interactions, her second Sister used to look at us suspiciously. She wrote a letter to my mother and told her in a very bad language about my holding her youngest Sister's hand. She also wrote that I tried to touch her Breasts several times which was an utter lie. I was very badly hurt with the letter she wrote but I couldn't prove my innocence before anyone. 

After a few years, this suspicious Sister got married. Her husband was cousin of her Jija i.e the eldest Sister's husband. It was a love cum arranged marriage. He was a big drunkard.  As her husband had no solid source of income, she had to work in an office as temporary Clerk. She was posted in my hometown for the job. Her husband was living in a different place. When she was working her she had an extra marital affair. I came to know about this from a common friend.

A few months ago, her smartphone had a problem and she gave the phone to me to get it repaired. After repairs when I opened the smartphone, I could not believe what I saw. The phone was full of love messages exchanged with the person she was having extra-marital affair with. The language used in chat records were so obscene that I couldn't imagine to be used by her. A number of selfies taken with that person were there in the gallery.

In some photos she was lying on the bed with almost no clothes and some photos were also there in which she was in a compromising position with that person, like she was taking selfie and that man was covering her private parts with his hand. In one selfie, that man was holding both her boobs and she had clicked the photo.

In another selfie, both of them were engaged in french kissing. Yes, watching all these was absolutely improper and immoral as these were her extremely personal pictures and I was not entitled to see these.

I tranferred all these datas on my smartphone. Though I know that it was completely wrong to do that. I must confess that my conscience didn't allow to do that but I did it. Now I want to show all these stuffs to my maternal uncle and aunty and want to tell them that B used to claim all the time that she was of a very good character but she was the most corrupt of all sisters.

She raised a finger on my character but it was she, who had no character at all. Please tell me will it be proper to reveal all these things to my maternal uncle. I am in a dilemma. 

Please help. Thanks in advance. 

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commented Jul 12, 2017 by gr8gaur (1,830 points)
So....what have you decided ?

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11 Answers

2 like 0 dislike
If I was in your place I would have told the world about it. Like you I'm a man of clean character, principles and ethics. I treat all of my cousins like real sisters and respect them a lot. The last thing I want is a blot on my character for no fault of mine.

Let's talk about the reasons why you should expose her.
1. Her husband needs to know.
Imagine you have a wife and you're totally in love with her, years later you come to know that for a long time your wife was having an affair and your family members knew but didn't tell you, how would you feel then ?

2. She literally accused you of being characterless, if you take it lying down people will think you are wrong.

3. Revenge.
When someone commits mistake you forgive and forget but when someone deliberately hurts and malign your image you got every right to hit back at them. Don't let go of this opportunity.

Remember she complained about you as if you were some sort of molester. The cousin (of your age who was friendly with you) didn't had any problem but she (the elder one) made a hill out of a mole. She could have talked to you to clear mis-understanding but she chose to humiliate you.
answered Jul 10, 2017 by gr8gaur (1,830 points)
2 like 0 dislike
Do not compromise with the illicit activities of your cousin and report the matter to relevant persons.You have been humiliated for no fault of yours,it high time to take revenge.Shake off your dilemma and expose her.
answered Jul 11, 2017 by Motilal (6,475 points)
1 like 0 dislike

You would not get anything by taking the revenge so I would say drop the idea of taking the revenge as that would not take you anywhere. Moreover, she is a married woman now so you do not have a right to ruin her married life by showing all these stuff to others. What she did in the past with you is something you should keep in mind and need to be careful towards her but I would say you should not take revenge at this stage of life.

What she has been doing in her life it is her personal life and she will have to face the consequences of it on her own but you do not play the role of punisher here as that is not your job.

You should keep focus on your life and keep doing well in your life as that is what one should do. Delete those things which you transferred in your mobile from her mobile as that is not required and that things would keep instigating you to take the revenge. Take a mature and sensitive decision. 

answered Jul 11, 2017 by alpesh kapdi (22,895 points)
1 like 0 dislike
Good going ... show it to all.
She must learn good lesson.
But do not destroy her life.
answered Jul 11, 2017 by Aksh (180 points)
2 like 0 dislike


This is a difficult choice you have to make.

On the one hand, there is no doubt that she insulted you (but are you sure that you are blameless…I do not know if it is the custom to talk holding hands…just maybe, you had a soft corner for that Sister and it appeared that you were closer than you thought you were).

But quite a bit of time has passed and it would be petty of you to hold grudges now and think of revenge. Your Cousin Sister is now married, which means the equations have changed.

But, on the other hand, it would be your duty to inform her family if you have come across instances where she has strayed and is having an extra marital affair. If her other Sisters are still not married then, it would be necessary to caution the family about what you have discovered. Besides her sisters, it would also not be fair to her husband.

Since she gave the phone to you for repairs, I presume that the relationship between you two is not as bad as it was earlier. I would suggest that you first talk to her and give her a chance to change. Do not tell her that you have downloaded the evidence to your mobile. You can tell her that it was brought to your notice by the repairman. Do not feel guilty that you have seen the pictures. Anything that is captured on film, implies that it could be seen by other too.

Do what you feel is right, but do not do it out of revenge. Do it as your duty to the Family.        

answered Jul 12, 2017 by longhands1 (77,000 points)
1 like 0 dislike
Don't you feel, you have the responsibility to protect her. Insulting happened long before, everything changes over time. You have not mentioned whether 3rd and 4th daughters are married. Talk to her. Even if it is necessary, there is no point in working as temporary clerk in a different city. She should stay with her husband.
answered Jul 12, 2017 by solliadi (1,805 points)
1 like 0 dislike

i feel u should not indulge in such things and just let karma do its work. You know right karma is a *****.

also if u show such pic to others then unnecessary it may lead to lot of unknown things in future to u and ur life

i feel u can mail ur uncle or anyone of ur family from an anonymous mail . Let them decide what they wanna do later. Dont give away ur identity and act as if u dont know anything ok.

Most of the times such things are suppressed within the family and disposed of so i thing u should not reveal ur identity and just share the pic to ur uncle as a unknown.

answered Jul 12, 2017 by Riyashastry (135 points)
2 like 0 dislike
yes u can definately inform her extramarital affair to her parents , but think once before saying to her parents or her husband, her entire life will get spoiled and it should not be left like that you better talk to her friendly first, ask her why she was having someone , may be her husband cant satisify her. you better try to find where the problem was? someday she will realise her mistake in ur matter.
answered Jul 12, 2017 by suchethareddy (165 points)
1 like 0 dislike
Taking revenge is sweet divine, but this is not the case.
As ur cousine sister is married she is her own to take decision. Her husband and she is can only decide about their present future. Parents can only guide them. If she is unmarried I would definitely recommend u to tell this to her parents as diginty of family would be in jeopardy.

Now about the letter. Have nice conversation about this letter with ur younger cousine sister. Ask her to tell the.truth to ur mother nd ur family.

Let ur cousine live her life nd live ur life. Why to make rivalry when everything is in limit.
answered Jul 12, 2017 by Harsh.03 (570 points)
1 like 0 dislike
In my opinion u too have sex with her...
Say u know about her affairs n by that u too can enjoy fucking ur sister
Enjoy fucking...
answered Jul 13, 2017 by Jonika (265 points)
1 like 0 dislike
what i  can tell you is, better talk to a person in your family whom you can trust. tell them, what is going on. it would be better if the concerned person to whom you gonna reveal is a woman, as she can talk to your cousin.
I always believe a woman can best understand another woman , better than a man. So instead of confronting her and seeking a revenge which would only hamper your relationship with her even more, take a practical step in solving the issue.

answered Jul 14, 2017 by kvivek17 (205 points)

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