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How to solve my Life's dilemma?

asked Jul 6, 2017 in Questions by Shaan22 (120 points)

Hello everyone,

I'm Shaan 23+ yrs old. I've just completed my post graduation in computer engineering. I'd like to tell you about my past.

When I was in class 7th, I fell in love with a girl who was in 4th. When I went to class 11, I started talking to her. I proposed to her in 12th and we got committed. She was from a different religion, so we decided to separate. Now five years have passed. I really loved her and never took advantage of her. I just loved her soul not her body. We had a mutual breakup.

After her many girls approached me but I told them “we can be friends". So every girl left me after 3-4 months. I don’t want to be in love again. The problem is that after she left, I used to watch porn daily to reduce my stress. I used to smoke. I used to watch MILF porn. I got attracted to older women. I love watching them in leggings, nail paints rings and get aroused. I get aroused after watching any aunty aged from 25-45 but this feeling develops only in night. But in the morning I regret all that.

There are girls who sexually want me. They used to give their nude pics to me with face hidden, I got aroused that time but in morning, I think of that whether it is appropriate or not. I want to be a good and moral person. I want to divert my mind and I want to live a happy life. Everyone says, that I should be in a relationship with a girl so that I can divert my mind, but I don’t want to hurt anyone.

This is my Life and my dilemma. How to solve this dilemma?


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4 Answers

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Best Solution,

Get into a new relationship and leave the past behind. You are wasting your life and energy on old things
answered Jul 6, 2017 by blr_cool_guy (165 points)
commented Jul 6, 2017 by Shaan22 (120 points)
Exactly sir i knw im holding my past. I really want to get rid off my past. Bt main thing is after that breakup im fond to women. Now a days i feel like having sex with older women like very badly. Bt frm inside i exactly not wanna do it. Im between thing.
1 like 0 dislike
You have just completed your post graduation. Have you got any job in hand? If not, get placed first. If you have already got, concentrate on your work. Let the senses do their job -in between. Never allow this at your priority at this point in time.
answered Jul 6, 2017 by solliadi (1,805 points)
commented Jul 6, 2017 by Shaan22 (120 points)
Thank you. I appreciate ur ans actually im looking for job. Bt the thing is when use to go fr or do something productive like for studying fr interview or looking for job the evil comes in mind is "if u r doing only this then u r missing the fun u can enjoy with somebody, u can approach that aunty fr sex u can do that thing u can watch porn in this time" and then i ended up with masturbating at 5 am then go to sleep. I'm literally fed up off this. I'm just doing what is pleasing me. Plz share ur advise or suggestion.
commented Jul 7, 2017 by solliadi (1,805 points)
Suggest to engage in sports or meditation in the morning. Do not allow any distraction during trying for something important in your life.
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The things you adopted to divert your mind is your mistake as that would never reduce your stress because after watching porn, thinking about mature women etch would only lead you to go for masturbation and then you will start regretting your thing later on because deep down you know that you have selected wrong path to divert your mind and you know that you chose it because it is an easy thing for you to do.

It seems that you have low self-esteem and that is why you are unable to forget something that happened when you were so young so I would say it might even not love but you gave the name of the love so you are missing something that did not take place in your life properly.

However, masturbation is the healthy thing at the same time if you do in limit so do not feel guilty for the masturbation or fantasizing so many things to get yourself aroused because it is normal thing and all the human beings do it so you are not alone.

Your friends are that you should try to be with a girl as that would make you realize that you have to move on and your partner would help you too in this regard. There are many things you could do to divert your mind and to be successful man like set a goal in your life to achieve and put your best effort into it. Hit the gym, do some hobbies, meet your friends, join some volunteers work, do good things in the society and lean simple happy life without analyzing your past with that girl too much as that is not required. You are normal if you stop analyzing things too much and start dating girls to find a good partner for you. 

answered Jul 7, 2017 by alpesh kapdi (22,910 points)
commented Jul 12, 2017 by Shaan22 (120 points)
Thank you very much. Its just, when i use to concentrate on productive work one thing strikes in my mind is "what m u doing, it is not giving me any kind of pleasure" i always use to find pleasure in everything. I use to think alot imagine alot it gives me pleasure and i also have a fetish of women feet and thighs. Like i love that feet which has nail paints n ring also. When i see i a simple woman with tights clothes i get aroused immediately. I knw what im doing is inappropriate bt trust me i always think of getting sexually attached to an older woman..Tell me to get rid off all this.please.
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I think the most you try to search, harder will be to get a relationship. Just let the things be, relax, have pleasure  if you feel you need it and dont force yourself too much dear.
answered Jul 7, 2017 by ana (335 points)
commented Jul 20, 2017 by Shaan22 (120 points)
Plzz ans me?

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