Please Register and complete your Profile in all Boxes. Age is mandatory.
Welcome to India's No 1 Sexual Health Forum. Ask Anjali and other experts & members questions on Sex, Masturbation, Relationships, Love, Affairs, Penis and much more.
Want to listen to the voice of your HOT Anjali Aunty? Click on the "Audio Answers" menu link and listen to her answer all your sexual questions.

15,073 questions

48,895 answers


65,906 users

The Ask Anjali Team


How to convince my wife for swinging ?

asked Jun 28, 2017 in Questions by loveubaby2018 (120 points)
edited Jun 29, 2017 by longhands1

Hi All,

This is my first question. I am male, 34 years old. I am married for 8 years. We have a 5 year old kid.

I always dream of swapping, but do not have the courage to ask my wife for the same. I am not even in position to start this discussion with her. She is a typical Indian lady. I don't want to force her and told her, that only if she is interested we will do it.

But, honestly, I feel, what's wrong in it ? Anyway, many people are showing interest now-a-days, it will become normal in another 20 years.

So  please tell mw what can I do to convince my wife about swinging ?


Dear Member,

We are happy to welcome your Question on AA, the No. 1 Site for Sexual and Relationship Issue. We hope you will get many Answers. Please have the courtesy to “Thank” and give your comments to the Users who have taken the trouble to Reply.


1. Please complete your Profile if you have not done so. Go to My Account and update your details. Name is not mandatory, but age is compulsory. We will not approve a New Question if this is not done.

 2. Before you ask a new Question, please choose Best Answer for your earlier Question. Wait for 3-4 Answers before you select the Best Answer. If you do not do this, we will not approve your new Question.

3. Once a Question is approved, do not edit it again. If you want some changes, send me a PM (Personal Message).   

4. Do not reply to Old Posts, which are more than 6 months old. It is a waste of time.

5. Finally, do take the trouble to give Answers to questions asked by others. Your solution could shower you with the User's Blessings.



Please log in or register to answer this question.

8 Answers

0 like 0 dislike

This is a situation now many husbands are facing. Unlike you think, many wives have changed nowadays. So, it is not a big task to convince. Try to talk more about sex and fun with your wife. Check her reactions. Then, while love making and during sex, you can slowly bring in the topic of swinging and sex outside marriage. Check her reaction then also. Most probably, at that time, your wife will be in a positive mood. Hope, our advice helps. Feel free to get in touch on the developments.

Best Regards,
answered Jun 29, 2017 by Ajayeaso (320 points)
0 like 0 dislike


Only honest communication with her can help you so go for it as there is no other way but at the same time you should be ready to listen no as it is her right to say no and you should respect her decision but you can try for it as there are chances that she may say yes for the swapping.

Start having a discussion with her and see whether she shows any interest in the subject or not. See some porn movies together where swapping is the main part and then pull the discussion over it to make her understand that this is common these days and many people take the part in it to make their sexual life great.

However, as you said that she is a typical Indian lady then she may not say yes but you should take a chance to see whether she is ready for it or not. If she says no then do not force her and stop making her uncomfortable by keep asking the same thing. You would not be the alone who does not get the swapping. 

answered Jun 29, 2017 by alpesh kapdi (27,435 points)
edited Jun 29, 2017 by longhands1
0 like 0 dislike
Hii stranger,

You haven't mentioned your wife's age. For suggesting something, I need other details like the city you are living , the life style you have. See these typical Indian ladies are not easy to convince , for convincing her you need to work a lot and you have to be patient.

Actually as a male if you have fear in asking your wife then you can understand how many fears are there in her mind. See its all mind game you have to make her mind and for that you have to train her mind. I had helped some couples in making their wife ready for threesome and swap.

You have to be open with her and play safe by regular training her mind that whatever this is, there is nothing wrong in that. Feel free to ask your doubts here (on this SITE) and provide the details, so that I can help you in getting your wife ready.

answered Jun 29, 2017 by Jhonsm (1,215 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Its difficult Task because as you say in your question she being typical Indian lady
 a Indian lady will never perform such act because her husband loves her and respect her thats biggest gift she has got from her parents when she married you
You can ask her but you can never force her if she say ok you can arrange it if she says no  it means she is not interested in it
Never go against her wish it  may cost you your married life
I dont think she will respond you
answered Jun 29, 2017 by pavan350 (1,355 points)
0 like 0 dislike
You can convince her by following this trick but remember dont force her.

Download and watch a swapping movie with her. Start by watching normal couple movie then slowly try to watch swapping movie with her. If she feels comfortable she will watch with you if not she will let you know after that if she watches you then its a positive sign for you and who know that she might ask you the question, if what we are seeing happens in real life?

If she asks you, then you are already in a win position. Will guide you according to that hope my answer will help you.
answered Jun 29, 2017 by myselfarun (1,790 points)
0 like 0 dislike

Swinging is possible only if you have a great relationship with your Partner. Just because others are doing it, does not mean that your wife will readily agree.

It may take years before she will reluctantly agree to experiment with another man in her bed in your presence. You have to be patient throughout the process of convincing her. She may finally agree, saying that I am doing it for you.

Women have many doubts in their mind about threesomes. Their first doubt is that you have stopped loving her and so are not possessive about her. Or elsehow can you even suggest that she sleeps with another man. You have to keep telling her that you love her and always will.

Another of her doubts will be whether you have another mistress/lover and so are trying to balance out things. She will even tell you, that if I agree, then you may want to have sex with another woman later. You have to address these doubts of hers and convince her that she will always be yours.

Another fear is that in moments of arguments, you will tell her that she has slept with someone else.

You have to create situations where your wife is either a willing or reluctant party to the threesome. This is possible only if you talk to her on the subject. View porn which has threesome as the main topic and talk about it. Ask her about her views etc etc.

Sex is played out in the head and is more exciting to imagine that the actual reality. There are a few problems that you have to consider. Jealousy always affects a couple that’s trying to have a threesome. Insecure thoughts will torment both of you, if sex hasn’t been good for a while, but becomes mind blowing after the arrival of the third person. Questions like those given below will haunt you. “Is she not interested in me anymore?” “Am I just a scapegoat stuck in the middle of these two lusty lovers?” “She wants him with us because he’s better looking and has a bigger cock than me?” “She is kissing him a lot more than she is kissing me, is she falling for him?”

Finally, meet the person few times before you actually go to bed.

answered Jun 29, 2017 by longhands1 (84,390 points)
edited Jun 29, 2017 by longhands1
0 like 0 dislike
View a bollywood film titled 'ajnabee' which focused on swinging activity between two mature couples
What I liked about it was how 'the night after', the hero gets framed after the other man's wife is seen in shower lying dead! The film wasn't a conspiracy theory against swingers but it threw dire warning that such anomalies can happen with strangers.

In short, you may never know who the couple really is, they could extort - defame - tape - rape or do anything unwarranted that may instantly kill off the good space you share now.

Don't be fooled by porn. Its an intangible liability on your mind.
answered Jul 4, 2017 by guruofalldivas (405 points)
0 like 0 dislike
You yourself said 'it (swinging) will become normal in 20 years', then wait till 20 years and then ask.
answered Jul 4, 2017 by gr8gaur (2,405 points)

Related questions

11 answers 28.7K views
5 answers 6.7K views
3 answers 5.2K views