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I want to stop having sex with my Devar, but cannot. Why?

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asked Jun 13 in Questions by Jaansalma (170 points)
edited Jun 13 by longhands1

I am  Salma Khan, aged 28 years. I stay in Mumbai with my husband, aged 31 and my devar, aged 19 years.

My father-in-law and my mother-in-law, stay in the village. Nine months ago, I came to know that my husband is having an affair with the neighbour girl,  who is just 23 years. I was shocked. I kept silent thinking what to do.

I told my friend Rekha about this. She is 34 years old. I told her everything about my husband and his affair. She told me that she is also having affair with her young  brother-in-law and suggested that I do the same with my Devar.

Six month ago, I  seduced my brother-in-law and from January till now we are having sex every day. I have become addicted to having sex with him.

Now, I want to stop this but I can't. He wants me have his baby. Why am I addicted and cannot stop this?

Please help me and suggest what I should do?

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9 Answers

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Best answer
Dear S.K,

Sex other than​ partner may be spicy and exciting but it cost a lot. You have taken the cream of the milk and don't to drink​ the rest!.

It's obvious that you felt depressed when you came to know about your husband's affairs. My question how you come to know about your husband's affairs... Whether you come to know from third source or anyone told you. He has sex with another lady doesn't mean that you have to build another affairs with others. You needs to be serious for your relationship by keeping faith on your husband.

Both married each other to spend time for each other not for EMR. It may be hazardous if you get caught by anyone. Your devar might well aquanted with your body as well as smell ..That might be wonderful for you but maintain this is next to impossible. .

What is the real problem with your relationship ..Please tell us..
Why he wants to make you pregnant?? Is he used contraception from starting of sex?
Also inform us when both of come to on bed...What type if relationship he wants from you..? I mean to say feeling..

Thanks
answered Jun 15 by bubu_002 (2,735 points)
selected Jun 17 by Jaansalma
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Why u want to stop?
U guys are enjoying
Keep going and enjoy
But keep everything full secret and no to baby.
Always be safe and enjoy with condom
answered Jun 13 by vrslvrslvrs (230 points)
commented Jun 14 by Jaansalma (170 points)
I enjoyed it earlier but now I want stop this. We do safe sex. We use condom sometimes and sometimes we don't.
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Salma,

As you have rightly noticed it is very difficult to stop having sex, especially when it is forbidden sex. The thrill of it rarely stops till you are caught and shamed. That is why, so many people end up having sex with their Ex.

How is the relation with your Husband? Is it strained because he is cheating on you? One way to stop having sex with your Devar, is to pay more attention to sex with your hubby. I agree this may be difficult till such time as he is sharing his cock with some other woman. You will need to communicate with him and gently ask him to stop his relations with that other woman. You can take the help of his parents in the matter.

But, I really don’t know what your response will be if he is aware of your illicit relationship and questions you about it. Don’t be under the impression that he does not know. The only reason he may not be broaching the subject, is because he is enjoying young pussy outside.  

Have you stopped to think, what if your devar refuses to stop having sex with you? What if he threatens to tell his brother? You are stepping on dangerous ground, if you give into his wish of having his child. That will complicate matters in the future. Just put your foot down and insist that he use a condom, if he wants to have sex with you.

If you really want to stop having sex with your Devar, you will need your Husband’s support. Get him to ask your Devar to find other accommodation.

Some difficult decisions you have to take. You have taken the first one, by coming to this Site for Advice.

Best of Luck.             

answered Jun 13 by longhands1 (71,455 points)
edited Jun 13 by longhands1
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Salma, Most people  enjoy forbidden fruits more . Doing taboo things. As what you or for that matter your husband doing is not acceptable as per the normal norms of society. You are getting immense cheating pleasure out of it,  thinking you are getting even with your hubby right under his nose. 

               There could have been absence of the thrill of cheating and excitment while you have sex with your hubby. No fear of getting caught  or of being seen together . Exactly these are the things which are making the illegitimate sex with your dever more spicy  and raunchy. 

     And add to this another element . And that is while with hubby you have to behave like a homely, cultured, humble woman while with devar you can behave the way you like without feeling shame. You can tell him to do the things or can do the things which you can not do or get done with hubby thinking    he would judge you. And such frenzy acts as a aphrodesic and  acts as stimuli the way alcohol attracts drunkerd. 

    Just try to reason with yourself and take further decision. And having baby of your dever is a strict  no no . Because if your relations get sour in future he always can blackmail you. For example in property dispute which might arise in future you never know. So take an informed decision. 

Try to stop having this illegitimate sex no matter how hard it is. Also try to tell your devar that what you have had   till date is enough and if get caught both of yours lives will be destroyed so tell him to preserve sweet memories of your togetherness and move forward or one day when you both will get caught your lives will be devastated. 

answered Jun 13 by prashant69 (6,925 points)
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WHY ARE YOU ADDICTED AND CAN'T STOP ? Thats the power of forbidden fruit called EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIR. People indulge in EMA for different reasons like in your case its revenge or maybe lack of attention form your hubby, but once in its difficult to get out. The reason is simple, we as humans like doing things we aren't allowed to do, having something extra than what is allowed is always an exciting prospect. What your hubby can't offer you, you get it form your Devar. You think 'a young boy desires me because I'm beautiful and because we can fulfill each other's needs'. The thought of cheating and getting caught is very tempting and difficult to resist till you actually get caught.

Now coming to the part where he wants you to have his baby, BACK OFF IMMEDIATELY! He's just 19 and can't take responsibility of a kid. Moreover child out of wedlock brings disaster, his/her future will always remain in the dark. Having an affair is one thing but resulting it in having a baby is just ridiculous. You need to ensure that if you refuse him having his baby he doesn't start blackmailing you. He's just 19 and can resort to arm-twist tactics to have his way, teenage is the most exciting and dangerous phase. He can resort to blackmail. Gently tell him the consequences of his demand and ensure that he understands your point.

Coming to the core of your question as to how can you put a FULL STOP to all of this ?

1.Try telling him that you have abdomen pain or some girly problem (irregular periods and all) and you find it extremely painful having sex.
2. Or maybe you can tell him that your husband is starting to doubt on you and this will be disastrous if he comes to know about this.

But be sure that this is what you want (to discontinue this physical relationship) and you'll not miss it or will not give in to your desires. You have to convince yourself that you can control your urges in future.

LASTLY coming to the most important point which I want to discuss here, you having an affair to get back at your hubby isn't a bad thing, neither is having an affair with your Bro in law. But having it just because your friend said so and just because she's doing the same is real stupidity. I mean what are you, a teenager !!!!! You have got brain right ? You don't have to copy or do exactly the same your friend has been doing. If she divorces her hubby to marry her Devar later on will you do the same ? Or if she has another affair at the same time will you go for another one ? Having a discussion with friend and asking for solution is good but blindly following it is not. I bet your friend is not in the same position as you're. She's having an affair just for the sake of fun while your reason is revenge and anger, totally different situations.

ASK FOR HELP BUT USE YOUR OWN BRAIN (Not intended to offend you).
answered Jun 13 by gr8gaur (1,680 points)
edited Jun 13 by gr8gaur
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First of all you did a blunder by having sex with your brother in laws because your husband has an affair with young woman, your friend should have given you a solution but she dragged you to her level so she can justify her act that most of the women are having sex outside the marriage. You should have confronted your husband when you came to know that he is having an affair and need to resolve the issue there but you also stepped in the shoes of your husband so morally you do not have any right to blame anyone.

However, if you want to stop having sex with your Dewar then self-control is the only way. Tell him that you do not want to continue with him anymore as you feel guilty so you want to stop it. You should be prepared for his blackmailing as I do not think that he will leave your vagina so easily but you should be firm on your decision not to have sex with him anymore no matter what may come so tell him that you are not going to have sex with him anymore and let him do what he wants to do.

You just keep yourself ready to face all the things that may come when you tell him that you want to stop. He will threaten you for so many things but he may not do anything as he is in the fault too so do not worry about his threat. 

answered Jun 14 by alpesh kapdi (21,880 points)
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You have done mistake already by having an affair with your brother in law and you both have gone to different level of your relationship
If your husband had relationship with another girl that doesn't mean you should try the same its was not good idea given by your friend to have relationship with brother in law
You should speak to your brother in law about extramarital relationship and try to convince him that it will lead miserable ending of their life
Be careful now if dont want to continue speak up and make clear decision
Try to convince him GOOD LUCK
answered Jun 14 by pavan350 (785 points)
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I have a better option for you, Divorce your husband, and you can start your life again. Find a loyal partner and marry him.
answered Jun 15 by whatisinaname (105 points)
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Misbehave with devar and make friendship of your devar to any beautiful women .most important tighten your grip on your husband.
answered Jun 19 by Riyagoyal5555 (120 points)
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