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Why did I get turned on seeing my wife getting massaged by a male masseur?

asked Jun 6, 2017 in Questions by wick007 (460 points)
edited Jun 6, 2017 by longhands1


I am 30 years old and married since 5 years and blessed with a 2 year old kid. I was having issues with my wife as she has been ignoring having intercourse with me stating she is very tired and doesn't want sex.

Of late, she had been trying to get full body massage from a female masseur at home. I told her that I too would love to get it, if she found a good male masseur for me.

One evening when I returned from work, she seemed happy that a male and a female masseur were coming and we would both have a great massage together in different bedrooms. But it happened that only the male came.  

I got started and the lights were switched off and only a mood light was on. I enjoyed the full body massage and the guy was pretty good with his hands. Since the package was for two, he asked if wife wanted the body massage too and on negotiating he said the price stays the same whether it was entire body massage or only her feet and head so she decided to get her body massaged as per her requirements

The lights still stayed off and she got changed into loose shorts and sleeveless top. I was in the living room when her massage started. It felt weird seeing my wife flat on her stomach and the masseur massaging her entire legs liberally with oil. Suddenly, I could sense his hands sliding all the way inside her loose shorts. He continued and saw no protest from my wife.

I was getting turned on seeing my own wife being violated in the other room and somewhat angry at her to let all this happen to her. I could make out him circling the cheeks and probably was quiet close to her butthole. He probably sensed that I was not going to protest. His hands moved down between her legs, and I could feel my wife’s body quivering.

He then massaged her tummy. There was some magic in his fingers as my wife was letting him do all this without protesting, but I couldn't understand why I was enjoying seeing all this. He then began massaging her boobs beneath the top without inhibition. Surprisingly, I wanted him to fuck my wife.

He then got up having done his task and wife went inside the bathroom for a quick shower.  He later told me, Sir I am good at giving couple massage to both together, next time please call, it shall be an enjoyable experience.

Is it normal for women to be massaged by men?

I could not understand why I got so turned on watching my wife's body being touched all over by another guy. I haven't been intimate with her in months now but we had mind-blowing session that night after a really long time. Was she fantasizing the masseur fucking her? Will this spice up my life or screw it up?

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3 Answers

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You seem to have progressed with each question you have asked us. In the first question, you spoke about your lack of intimacy with your wife after your child’s birth and expressed the desire to have an extramarital affair.

Your wish seems to have been fulfilled when you tell us in your second question about your fling with a random girl at a friend’s party. The episode however left you feeling like a lame duck.

You had told us earlier about your wife’s propensity for massage and that was one of the things she enjoyed. So what happened in your latest narration is an extension of what she desired. It is obvious that you read more into the massage than what it was. It was a strictly professional massage and your wife handled it like that.

One of the reasons you enjoyed seeing her get the massage was your guilt feelings of having earlier had sex behind her back. It was a way for you to make amends. I can be sure that your wife will not agree to any idea that you may have of her having sex with another man. Simply for the reason that she does not enjoy sex.  

You have described the massage in erotic terms. How else do you have a massage? Definitely not clothed. Your wife was just having a massage in the presence of her husband. Nothing so novel about that.

If it fires your imagination and your wife is willing to have a male massage then go for it. You can try having a female give you a massage in your wife’s presence and gauge her reaction about it.

answered Jun 6, 2017 by longhands1 (93,025 points)
selected Jun 11, 2017 by wick007
commented Jun 6, 2017 by wick007 (460 points)
hi longhands, thanks for another perspective.
you are right that she doesn't enjoy sex but it was different that night after massage.
so she was very turned on and I'm sure she would be the next time too.i can't explain if i was reading more in the episode and I'm being more conservative but yeah i didn't know that massaging buttocks and breasts should have been allowed by her and I'm not sure again if a husband should feel turned on by seeing them being massaged.

i do wish to have sex with her only and regarding straying i hope i don't have to do it again.
mebbe you are right that in a way due to my guilt, i ended up wanting to consider it even, but then there's no reason for me to want her having sex with anybody or watch her being turned on my someone else, but somehow i think i shall enjoy it again.
the masseur wasn't making love to her but definitely the massage was sensual for her.

i know her and what she feels about massages.. so if I'm right she would probably call for another session.. in my absence..
commented Jun 6, 2017 by longhands1 (93,025 points)


It could be that the massage turned her on, not the masseur. The human body does crave sex, even though it may not be spontaneous. She had not had sex for some time and the physical touch, would have awakened her juices.

Why dont you volunteer to give her a massage and then see where it goes. Is this the first time she has been touched by another man? I remember you said earlier that she has some affairs?

commented Jun 6, 2017 by wick007 (460 points)
she has had no affairs but has been always in touch with her exes which i initially had opposed but stopped as it seems to be making her try making more secrets from me..
but that's past and i don't break my head if she ever meets them and when
but no affairs really.. that i know of

regarding the massage.. yeah.. I'm not sure if it's only the massage or the masseur or a mix of both, but she was dripping when we made love that night and this is no secret for me that she gets turned on by being massaged.. i have done it before too and reaped benefits.. but now somehow the magic of my touch doesn't seem to work anymore
it doesn't turn her on.. only mebbe gives relief to get pain mebbe..and there's no sex after that unlike this evening..

but what i probably found out is she does get turned on by another guy's hand.. I'm only trying to capitalize on that for now by introducing this scenario in our life

another major factor is she didn't mention his hands getting inside her pants and tops thinking I'm busy with the TV .. it only makes me believe she wants this to be a secret.. and shall eventually want more of it.. in my knowledge or outside.

should i get more open minded and let her enjoy another man's hand. i really want to see how she would react if I'm right there in the same room.. shall she let the guy get as intimate?

I'm sure he had fingered her pussy and yet i got a hard-on.. isn't it weird.. i don't generally like people checking her out as she is damn beautiful..
commented Jun 12, 2017 by longhands1 (93,025 points)


Thanks for liking my Answer.

Check out my Answer to the Question from a Member who fantasizes about his Girlfriend who cheated him. This is about you thinking its weird you getting a hardon when your wife is getting a massage.

By the way a masseur may not ask in so many words, but he will try to get the woman to orgasm by touching her clitoris. If however the woman gives him an indication that she does not want it then he will back off. If the woman is bold she will indicate that she wants him inside her and is willing to have sex.

If you think it will help your wife to unwind, it may help to give the above a thought.

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'Will this spice up my life or screw it up'? Depends on which way you swing. It can spice up as well as screw your life as your wife may become habitual to all this.

BTW, in your last question you said no amount of cajoling could get your wife on bed and that she has given you permission to have an affair. I hope you do realize that if you were not present there, your wife would have given up.

Did you ask your wife after the 'mind-blowing session' as to how she changed her mind? How come she suddenly gets ready to be intimate ? Why didn't she objected to masseur touching her private parts ?

I'll still stick to my old theory that she is getting bored and looking for something extra.

answered Jun 6, 2017 by gr8gaur (3,230 points)
commented Jun 6, 2017 by wick007 (460 points)
hi gaur,
thanks for prompt reply..
yeah i do feel some contradictions with wifey.. esp wrt sex.
i have been at receiving end but would love to make it work esp as i know how bad divorces are.

i did want to know what was different that we had a great session after ages and she said it was mostly because she loved the massage which in a way turned her on.
i didn't explicitly tell her i saw most of it as she thought I'm watching the match and i knew she responded to the masseur but other than that i happened to be turned on too and i didn't want to discuss about it yet until I'm not clear what i want.

in a way after an attempt of straying out of marriage once and this recent event of the the masseur I'm kind of open to new things in life and intimacy.. also the aspect of love has changed for me too.

i feel now instead of actually straying i can let her enjoy being turned on by a massage session and then go for the goods.
at least that sounds a better way in which i get her ready for sex.

i have a feeling though she might want to call the masseur alone.. I'm not sure about it though but she had mentioned she got a call from him later asking if we wanted another session.

other than all this, she is an amazing wife and I'm hoping she doesn't actually get any action from outside like your earlier theorized.. I'm not sure on that now as much seeing her readily responding to the masseur's touch.
commented Jun 7, 2017 by gr8gaur (3,230 points)
You have a feeling that she might call the masseur alone and I hope you know that it just won't be limited to massage in your absence. Suppose if this happens then your reaction and response will decide the future course. You'll get typical response like 'it was just massage and nothing else'. I can guess which way things are heading towards and you know it too deep inside. Now the big question is, ARE YOU READY FOR IT ?
commented Jun 7, 2017 by wick007 (460 points)
i know what you are implicating.. but I intend to come clean on my feelings to wifey.. including trying to know hers.
my only doubt is whether she liked massage from the masseur and had no intention to be serviced by him or she actually seeks massage and then more intimacy with the same guy.
going by her response i shall let things for further and this can't then count as cheating if I'm a part of her wishes.
i know it's weird that I'm trying to accept the fact that my woman may be wanting another man's​touch too, but i don't want to let it happen in the wrong manner. rather i shall use it to my advantage.

i have strayed once as I wasn't getting enough from my wifey and note when i see that she did amazing sex right after massage mebbe I shouldn't waste it away. if she knows I'm open to her choice I'm sure she shall make a right choice..
mebbe then no massage sessions without me too..
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It seems that it spices up your sex life as after the massage you were able to fuck her and your sex life resumed after a long time. There were full chances that she was fantasizing the masseur fucking her and that is good and she has a right to fantasize things which make her turn on. There are many men who like to watch their partner having sex with other men in front of them as that gives them pleasure so you are not alone and you are not abnormal.

Do not analyze why you like it and what makes you happy seeing your wife enjoying other man’s hands on her body. The important thing is what you would like to do now and what are your future’s plan. Do you want to share your wife with other man? If yes, then I am sure you have a great opportunity and your wife would be ready as she already enjoyed the other man’s touch so it seems that she is open to explore ideas to spice up the sex life. Communicate with her and see how she responds. 

answered Jun 7, 2017 by alpesh kapdi (28,960 points)
commented Jun 7, 2017 by wick007 (460 points)
I intend to come clean on my feelings to wifey.. including trying to know hers.
my only doubt is whether she liked massage from the masseur and had no intention to be serviced by him or she actually seeks massage and then more intimacy with the same guy.
it's not that I'm looking to really share my wife with anybody just as i happened to her turned on seeing her being felt over by the masseur. it's that's guys job and if she really loves it and nothing more than well.. I'm not gonna ask for more but if she really says she wants more i shall let her have her way on the condition that i shall watch it and make love to her after that.. let's see how it goes on
but i only have concerns that it shouldn't complicate anything

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