Please Register and complete your Profile in all Boxes. Age is mandatory.
Welcome to India's No 1 Sexual Health Forum. Ask Anjali and other experts & members questions on Sex, Masturbation, Relationships, Love, Affairs, Penis and much more.
Want to listen to the voice of your HOT Anjali Aunty? Click on the "Audio Answers" menu link and listen to her answer all your sexual questions.

15,073 questions

48,895 answers


65,906 users

The Ask Anjali Team


I am 40 year old, virgin. Have some doubts about sex and this relationship.

asked Mar 24, 2017 in Questions by Aartikumar (155 points)
edited Mar 24, 2017 by longhands1

Dear Editor and Readers,

I had asked permission to post a question on behalf of my friend. Thank You Moderator for the permission.

I am Sakshi, 40year old unmarried Virgin Hindu lady. I am hailing from the rural village where sex and relationships are complicated and not allowed and I don't have any education. I am working as the house maid to look after an aged woman and only we two are staying.

She has many children. Her younger son stays with her when he comes for vacation. He is married 37 years old and he comes ahead of his wife for vacation. In 2015 when he came, I didn't know that I will be in such a good relationship. After two days he held my hand and the touch of his hand gave me the feeling of love and good relationship. I didn't understand how his hand reached my whole body and we started sleeping together naked but he never forces me to have sex as it was easy for him. Until I met him, I didn't feel any feelings about sex but since he touched me, I feel the sex as well as to sleep with him.

As my Vagina is too small and tight, he is scared to insert his penis. I even asked him to have sex with me and break my virginity, but he said that I will get pain, so even in 2016 he didnt have sex with me. When he is at work he used to call me and talk sexy talk and do phone sex.

He is coming alone this time for 20 days and I dont want to lose a single minute. I have asked him to break my virginity this time at any cost and start having sex but again he said he will see. I want to ask some questions and clear my doubts as well as give him confidence to have sex.

1. Is it ok to have sex and continue this relation as I am totally ok with him?

2. My vagina is small and I am a virgin so what are the precaution that should be taken? I can't take the risk for bleeding then the whole family will know about the relationship.

3. I want to have sex with him every day for 20 days. Is it ok for his health? Is it ok for me?

4. I am giving him oral pleasure. Is it ok as I am giving him since the last 2 years whenever he comes. His penis is 6 inches long and 3 inches thick.

Hoping for some good answers

Thank you so much in advance.

Please log in or register to answer this question.

4 Answers

1 like 0 dislike
Best answer


It is nice of you to seek our advice on behalf of your friend Sakshi. You are right, often language and culture is a barrier and not easy to seek advice on sex.

I think your friend should not feel guilty about being a virgin. So what, if she is a virgin and has not had the courage to experience sex so far. The body craves for a human touch and since there is not much age difference between the concerned man and her, sparks were bound to fly.

What concerns me is the attitude of that man. For some reason, he is unwilling to have sex with your friend. This she needs to find out why. Men are not so considerate that they worry about the pain that will be caused to a woman when her hymen breaks or whether she has a tight vagina. Since the man is already married, it follows that he is no spring chicken and understands about sex and how to go about it.

If he has not had intercourse in the past, when he had the opportunity and he was alon. It may be difficult for your friend to convince him to do so, now when he comes.  

Answers to your friend’s questions.

1.  Why should she hesitate to continue the relationship? But there is no future in it. Even penetration seems doubtful. There are so many men who would give their little finger to have sex with a woman, so she should look out for others, to avoid disappointment.

2. Do not worry about the vagina. Once it well lubricated with desire, the juices will flow and sex can be enjoyable. There may be some bleeding, but that is just a matter of washing a towel or bed sheet, kept under the vagina. It is just a table spoon of blood. Nothing to worry about. Just enjoy the intercourse and the moment.    

3. You can have sex everyday and even many times a day. Only problem is that he should be able to have an erection each time. Since he is already married, his lust for sex, may not be too great. He seems to enjoy the distance chat on phone, but not the reality.

4. You give him oral sex. What does he give you in return? Is he good at foreplay and with his fingers? I doubt he will ever be able to make you orgasm.

Sorry to disappoint you and your friend, but you asked for honest answers.

answered Mar 26, 2017 by longhands1 (84,390 points)
selected Mar 27, 2017 by Aartikumar
0 like 0 dislike
It appears that practically you had no sexual feelings before you become 40 years.All of a sudden you are feeling urge for sex.No education is necessary for doing sex.It is physical requirement of the body.Enjoy sex with precaution,without getting caught red handed.Small vagina is no problem,if organs of male and female is properly lubricated.Pain and bleeding matters little,it will be followed by heavenly pleasure.You will want him more and more.
answered Mar 24, 2017 by Motilal (8,070 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Very cute and innocent question by a 40 year old ' Virgin ".
Let me tell you that somewhere around 95% virginity is taken with cock, in very few cases like exercise, cycling and other practices brakes the hymen. But still a Man's sexual tool is they key to open the lock of sexual entrance of a Woman.
All girls are born virgin and its taken by a man be it her husband or a boyfriend. And every virgin pussy is smaller and tighter compared to "used" pussy. Yes in your case you are little elder but still there are many woman like you, who married late and were still virgins and later lives a happy sexual life.
So the pretext is to make you clear that you being a virgin at 40 is something extraordinary is untrue. There are many women in world who are not lucky enough to get a sex partner in early age and remains virgin for longer time.
So please don't worry about this issue.
What I said is an open fact and I am sure the person you were talking about also knows this. Even he might have got a virgin pussy by his wife. I think its just an excuse that he is scared to enter in small and tight pussy, infact most men dreams and wish to have such pussy. The reason may be something else, maybe he dont want to get into any problem, as you are a maid and he might be scared later on you may blackmail him, he may be taking precautions thats it ( please dont mind but thats something I think ) or may be morally his subconscious is not allowing him to fuck you.
Now coming to your questions.
Until unless you both are OK with this relationship its fine.
You will bleed only if he fucks you, here he dont want to insert his tool. If some how you convinced him to do, you may bleed but its not like bleeding in menses period that all the time you will be bleeding, its just for some time and can be easily hidden and his penis is of a normal size so dont worry much you wont experience huge pain as they say no pain no gain.
He is 35 year old young man, I dont think he will face any problem fucking daily if he is strong enough to take you daily.

Being honest,
Mr. Honest!!!
answered Mar 25, 2017 by Mr.Honest (425 points)
0 like 0 dislike

Your description instigates me to say that he is selfish since he is getting what he wants from you and not returning the favor. It sounds that he only wants oral sex from you and not the vaginal sex as he might be getting vaginal sex from his wife enough but his wife does not give him to oral sex so he comes to get oral sex from you. Instead of him, you should be worried about the pain as you are virgin and not he but he makes the excuse not to have sex with that you would be in pain if he has sex with you.

If he wants to have complete sex with you then he can have as he is an experience guy and must be aware how to have sex with the woman for the first time so she cannot get too much pain. Next time when you meet him do not give him oral sex and do not allow him to come near you, when he asks you why you do not want to continue, let him know clearly that you want vaginal sex and if he does not want to have it with you then you want to stop it, I am sure he will have sex with you as you are giving him oral sex which he desires to get so I do not think that he will leave the woman who gives him oral sex.

You can have sex with him all the time as health wise it would not harmful to anyone. There is possibility that you would bleed when you have sex for the first time so take necessary precautions so no one can see the blood stains on the bed sheet. I would say use the condom to avoid the unwanted pregnancy. 

answered Mar 27, 2017 by alpesh kapdi (27,435 points)

Related questions

9 answers 9.1K views
2 answers 2.2K views
1 answer 372 views
1 answer 1.1K views