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How to make my wife sexually active in bed?

asked Jan 29, 2017 in Questions by M_ann16 (415 points)
edited Jan 30, 2017 by longhands1

Dear friends,

Thanks for suggestions to my previous question.

My wife is 5.5 ft with sexy figure to die for. She got 36D size milk containers with 34 size round botom, more in the shape of a heart. She got sexy protruding lips and ravishing skin. But she is just the opposite in bed. As dull as one can be specially after her first child.

I am an IT professional and had a great sex life, specially on foreign trips, specially Europe. Be it lap dance to striptease to hooker to massage parlours. I had 3 girlfriends and had really great sex life including threesome and foursome.

But all this has changed since my marriage. My wife is not at all active in bed. She does not like watching porno videos nor does like to experiment. Oral or Anal is like a dream for me know.

1) How do I change her. How do I make her active in bed?
2) Or should I enjoy ony foreign trips, just like olden days, which I have avoided doing since my marriage?

Kindly suggest.


Note: Please do NOT send private messages requesting to sex chat with my wife or asking for her photo. I love her as much as before.

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4 Answers

1 like 1 dislike
Best answer
Hi M_ann,

There is a famous proverb in English "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink."

It's very difficult to decide what is the root cause of her reluctance for sex. Your problem seems very complicated and its remedy is not very easy. Her problem might be psychological or biological. In medical science, this problem is called frigidity, and it occurs due to some hormonal imbalance.
Only a doctor can determine whether this problem is psychological or biological. You take her to a psychiatrist first, and if her problem is not fixed, then take her to an endocrinologist. I hope her problem will be cured.

Good luck,

answered Jan 30, 2017 by Urvashi Singh (395 points)
selected Feb 10, 2017 by M_ann16
commented Feb 18, 2017 by M_ann16 (415 points)
Thanks for the answer, but i m scared of telling her that it could be a medical condition...
1 like 0 dislike

Only communication can help you so discuss your desire with your wife but make sure that the discussion is in a healthy manner otherwise she would get defensive.

However, you cannot make her to act in the bed the way you want as that is not possible so you have to lower your expectations from her and meet the half way. After the birth of the child women’s priority get changed as they have to look after the baby whole time and let me tell you that it is really a tiresome task to do so you have to understand her situation too but yes you can ask her to be more active in the bed as you are not satisfied with current sex life.

There are many women who are not into oral sex so you cannot force her to suck your dick if she never did it but if she used to have oral sex with you before the baby comes in the world then you can tell her that you are missing old days and you want them to be back to make sexual life happy.

I am sure if you discuss your desire with intention to strengthen the married life then she will put her effort to satisfy you so it is a sensitive issue to discuss with her so do it carefully. I do not think that sex outside the marriage life and that too paid sex would be the unending solution so you should not look for it. Whenever your wife is in a good mood bring the topic of sex and make her understand that sex is a really important part of the married life. 

answered Jan 30, 2017 by alpesh kapdi (23,335 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Dear M,
       You have explained about your past sex encounters and and burning desires towards sexual activities.You are lucky to have such an gorgeous wife(as described by you). Sexual inactivities and dullness shown by wife must have some reason which is yet not known to you.
May be lack of concentration towards wife is the reason, since IT industry makes people to cope and live up with virtual social worlds.A women need full attention and comfort to enjoy sex with anybody be it lover or hubby. For her, its not only sex but also sex with lots of emotions. You need to spend time with her,caress her, cuddle her, touch her, feel her then she must be ready as per your mind.It is foreplay which decides all the sex plays.Do u guys have enough communication? What i mean to say is during foreplay ask her what she likes? Follow the likes and refrains from dislikes.If she is adamant not to reply then provide her the choices out of which she have to reply.This is the way to be vocal in sex.Its essential.Keep the communication alive during whole sexual acts.May be its matter of right timings for both of you.When you are ready she is not ready and when she is willing you are either physically not present or virtually present.
Teach her to self please when in private.Encourage her for healthy masturbation habits. This may give you the reason behind the sexual dullness. You must discover whether she is aroused or not before the action.Vaginal dryness is indication of non arousal.If this is the case, You need to consult endocrinologist(dealing with hormones imbalances).Sometimes a hormonal imbalances causes great variation in sex.
And last but not the least, First have good and satisfactory sex life with her and then only thinks about fantasy like 3some ,4some groupsex ,gangbang, lesbians and other kinkiness and all.You have yet not started the beginning step with wife.

Enjoy the life.
answered Jan 30, 2017 by whyiloveher2 (410 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Your wife seems to be passive in temperament.Provide some erotica to her for reading.Talk erotic to her.Praise about other friends wife and their activities.Give her an idea about wife swapping.Discuss everything in detail with her.I hope it will yield better result.
answered Jan 30, 2017 by Motilal (6,745 points)

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