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How to talk to father

asked Oct 12, 2016 in Questions by brilliant (120 points)
Dear Members and moderators

This is a difficult question and i do not know who else to ask.
It is regarding my 68 years old widowed father , our teenage maid for many years quit her job with out giving any satisfactory reason and when somehow we got in contact with her some time after , we got to know that my dad used to try to seduce her (just by words and money no touching) and that is why she left.
and I do believe her because i have heard from some where else in the past of his flirtness behavior.

Now i have kept another maid in our house , can any one please suggest how do i talk to my father to keep away from her . any thing i can say indirectly would be appreciated.

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8 Answers

0 like 2 dislike
Ask your dad why is he doing this. There is no indirect way to ask him. What do you mean by your father seducing her with words and money ?
answered Oct 12, 2016 by Darius (680 points)
1 like 0 dislike
This is very complicated/ emotional issue. I really don't know whz the best way to handle this. I guess you try these -
 1. Tell him a similar story of your friend's father that he tried to force their maid and now they are not getting any maid. That maid tried to go to police station etc. Etc.
2. Install few camera inside u r house and tell your father that this is required for security reason. He must be aware about these cameras. You will get few dummy cameras also.
3, I guess your father would be alone at home when maid arrive for work, try to change her time, ask her to come when someone else is at home, try to be around her (maid)
answered Oct 13, 2016 by SamRin (790 points)
2 like 0 dislike

I think you should have to approach him directly on the matter as indirect way might not be helpful. However, do not tell him that he has flirtatious nature but tell him that he needs to talk less to the maid as his talking to maid sends wrong signals to her and let him know this was the reason why previous maid left the job.

If he does not get the hint then talk to him directly even if it hurts him as it is important to let him know that his behavior is not acceptable and he should not behave in such a manner. He needs to understand that maid is also woman and she has self-respect too. It is her job and allow her to do her job with utmost respect. It is time for you to take tough stand since your father is in wrong business. 

answered Oct 13, 2016 by alpesh kapdi (27,390 points)
1 like 0 dislike
You are 39 years old. So it will not be difficult to talk to your father. But yes, you cannot directly tell him that the maid had left because of his evil intentions.
That would not be fair. You do not have any proof and only have the maid's side of the story.

You have not said about your wife. Where is she? Normally,  household matters are handled by women.  Why don't you keep an older maid who will be able to handle any situation herself.

You can tell your father not to interfere with theach maid'service work and to interact less with her and cite this reason for the earlier maid leaving.
answered Oct 13, 2016 by longhands1 (84,355 points)
commented Oct 13, 2016 by brilliant (120 points)
Thank you Alpesh, Deepak and Longhands for understanding my situation.

I have thought a lot about this , I am going to tell him that our previous made have left because she found it inappropriate the way He talked, I guess he will get a hint that we know what he has done and not do it in future.

Longhands my wife lives with me along with 2 children,actually she is disgusted by this act and as i have have mentioned that my mother is no more and my father is old  ,she just wants to fulfill her duties as her a daughter in law , acutally she asked me if we don't talk to my father about this matter and maybe he won't do it again.
But as I know is ways i think it is high time now.
0 like 0 dislike
Casually, tell your father that this maid is very strict and that in the past she has filed police complaint against one of her owners.

The downside is: Your father may casually talk to her about this after befriending her and find out whether this is true or not!
answered Oct 13, 2016 by broker (180 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Dear user,

I do understand your situation, It may be tensed situation for you. As your 68 year old dad flirting with maids.
You might be thinking about the consequences which could happen if any maid raised her voice.  Ofcourse your dad can be booked as molesting or sexually assaulting a female. You might be thinking about what your family prestige will be if this news bust out.
Now what you want to do? You want to talk with your dad. Ok, if you do then how would that talk will go?
Either you bust at him or try to make him understand he is doing bad. But what would be the result.
Is there any guaranty that your dad will quit such things?
I dont think so.

The problem is we accuse a criminal but we dont look for the cause of the crime.
Here I dont mean your dad is criminal.
what I want to say is instead of blaming him you should understand why your dad is behaving like this?
He is 68 year old, A widower. You haven't said since how long is he living alone, I mean with out your mom.
But still at this age one needs a person to take care of him. Men are different from women.
The controlling capacity of man is much much lesser than a woman. A woman "MAY" live alone for long but its not very easy for a man.

Dude, please understand your dad needs someone. A person who can take care of him, a person who loves him, a person with whom he can fulfill his sexual desires.
Normally in our society if a young boy starts making relations with females, elders of the family suggests to marry that boy. But I ask why its only for young boy. If an old person is doing the same the solution would also be the same.
I hope you understand my point.
answered Oct 13, 2016 by life.part2 (110 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Perhaps your father is living with you.It is unwise to engage a teenage maid servant for household work.Never give them a chance to come closer.Your wife must be vigilant to stop these activities.You are 39 may talk with your father,saying that what you have heard is a rumour or reality...ask him to change his habits,if he wants to stay with you.
answered Oct 13, 2016 by Motilal (8,030 points)
0 like 0 dislike
dont believe on what other say...try to find out yourself
answered Oct 21, 2016 by ruchisingh306 (125 points)

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