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I am in love with a woman 15 years older than me. What to do?

asked Jun 9, 2016 in Questions by Ishan01 (120 points)
edited Jun 10, 2016 by longhands1

This all started a few months back. I was quite close to a lady professor of mine in college who is a widow. Now she is 39 and I am 23. A  year ago, we again connected on Facebook and day by day we got closer.

Around 6 months ago we met casually and one thing led to another and a couple of months ago we had sex.  We both thought it was a mistake and stopped seeing each other.  But again we couldn't stay away and started talking a couple of days after this incident.

Now the problem is: we both have developed feelings for one each other and to make matters worse we are having regular physical relations which we both can't stop.  She is not trapping me because she herself has told me we can't get married.  We both are madly in love and its not just about sex.

Please tell me what to do? I miss her whenever I am away from her. I have had a girlfriend before but didn't feel for her this away. I really want to be with my love but I am afraid of the stigma.

Please help me with your guidance. I don't know what to do.

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4 Answers

0 like 1 dislike

You are afraid and she is sure that you people cannot get married so if you both are unable to handle yourself emotionally well then stop seeing each other.

However, if you know what you people want from each other than you both can continue with each other in present scenario. You both should understand that this relationship of yours is one day going to end and you both should ready for that until that you both could be with each other and enjoy it.

If you are worried about the future break up then this relationship is not for you folks. 15 years of gap is not small one and she is widow too so future together is nearly impossible.

What you both need to do is honestly talk about what kind of relationship you both are expecting and how you both are going to handle it in coarse time.

It sounds that you are emotionally become dependent on her if that is the case then you should stop seeing her as early as possible for you better future otherwise you will ruin your mental peace and life too.

Here you both should take practical decision seeing your current circumstances of life. However, if you both want to enjoy few years of life together then this is the time you can be emotional partner and physical partner of each other but that should be secret from everyone to avoid unwarranted and embarrassing questions of others. 

answered Jun 10, 2016 by alpesh kapdi (25,535 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Dear I,

There is no boundary for your feeling and you shouldnot confine them in limit. You are love with your professor and she has  also same feeling towards you. There are many possibilities to this problem.
1. Marriage. This is tough task to complete.
2. Disturbance in professional life: Both have thinking towards sex which deviate from career path
3. Social exclusion: People around you bring some critics about the relation which would be difficult for you both to handle.
4. If the flow of relationship continue its good else both will blame each other.
5. Continuance: This type of opportunities are comes rarely. Use the chance and dont attached emotionally. It would be better for both. If you both want to continue forever then emotional attachment is good.

answered Jun 13, 2016 by bubu_002 (2,760 points)
0 like 0 dislike
If you enjoy sex with other women as well, you will probably get a better understanding of what "Love" means.

My advice is, enjoy it while it lasts. Do not confuse yourself with thoughts about love and similar. As you age, more clarity will come into your thoughts.
answered Jul 26, 2017 by blore.guy (445 points)
1 like 0 dislike
What stigma ? Marrying a widow is not a taboo. If you have a job and she too works, you can get married and live a happy life.

The real question are:
1. Can you put up with this fact that she's 15-16 years older than you ?
2. Would you still love her if you reach 30 and she's 45-46. Her age at that time won't matter to you ?
3. Can you handle society pressure ?
4. You won't get bored of her and think that you're trapped.
5. Does she have kids too ?
answered Jul 27, 2017 by gr8gaur (2,065 points)

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