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Are Fantasies a mental disorder?

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asked May 4, 2016 in Questions by Christymathew43 (120 points)
edited May 5, 2016 by longhands1

I am a married Female. When I got married, my husband was very happy to see me in sexy dresses in the bedroom. But it is becoming too embarrassing for me now. He wants to see me dressed like that everywhere.

I dont know how to handle the situation without hurting him emotionally. Please advice me.

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3 Answers

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If you are not comfortable in wearing those sexy dresses everywhere then you have to make it clear to him and firmly ask him to respect your boundary.

He needs to understand your emotional status as he has no right to make you compel for his wish so let him be hurt if your refusal makes him hurt.

With time he will understand that you are not comfortable and it is perfectly normal to say no as it is the matter of personal preferences.  

Discuss with him that your upbringing and your nature does not allow you to wear such outfit outside the bedroom and try to make him understand but do not go out of way to please him otherwise he would seek more attention from you each time.

Do not do things, which make you uncomfortable. Learn to say no and it is not something that you are disrespecting him.

answered May 5, 2016 by alpesh kapdi (28,935 points)
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This will only become a problem if what he wants, and what you are prepared to do, differ to a great extent.

He's nice to see you dressed sexy, and there's nothing wrong with that. If you want to enjoy a good sex life, you both have to accommodate each other's fantasies, at least as long as those fantasies don't do anything really objectionable to either of you, or iendanger either of you. Does he indulge you in the fantasies you have? Have you even told him what your fantasies may be?

One person's idea of dressing sexily is another person's idea of normal. What exactly is E asking you to wear? How revealing with the outfits be? You don't really say what you are worried about, are you embarrassed that your figure isn't good enough? Or are you scared that other people are looking at you? Or are you worried that people might hold you in contempt for addressing in a more sexy manner? Perhaps you are worried about your family's reaction?

I seem to spend half of my life saying this on this forum, but you need to sit down and talk to your husband. Having a conversation with him means that you have to listen to him, and he has to listen to you. Good communications with each other are the key to a happy and successful marriage. If he understands your fears and feelings, then he will hopefully respect them. If he's the kind of guy that has no respect for the way you feel, then there's something the matter with him. But again, it's a two-way street, and you have to try to accommodate his wishes if you can.

As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing wrong with looking sexy. Whenever I go out with my husband, I want to look sexy for him. We both enjoy other people staring at me with hunger in their eyes. I know that I'm attractive, and he never fails to bolster my confidence as well. And I see a guy or a girl looking at me as if they wanted to see me naked, it actually excites me quite a lot. But I know that not every woman feels the same way about these things as I do.

To yourself a favour: stand in front of a full-length mirror, completely naked, and take a good look at yourself. Don't look for the flaws and imperfections, try to see yourself as a man would see you, sexy and desirable. Then put on your nicest sexiest clothes, to your hair nicely, to your make up and so on, and then take long and honest look at yourself again. Realise why your husband loves to see you looking like this, and perhaps you will feel much better about yourself. After all, all he is asking you to do is to make yourself look as good as you possibly can, and in his eyes, that means looking really sexy. And take it as a compliment, because a lot of husbands couldn't give a damn what their wife looks like, because they're too busy looking at younger girls. Your husband is obviously still finding you extremely sexually attractive and exciting, so enjoy it, and bask in the glory of it!!!

Love,

Salma
answered May 5, 2016 by sexysalma (15,020 points)
commented May 6, 2016 by Christymathew43 (120 points)
Thanks Salma, but his fantasies are like insisting me to go braless or pantyless so no one can be identified easily. One day he bought me a nice salwar kameez which was very modest in look , but it had a slit in top front which cant be identified easily. He asked me to wear it without anything under which I felt naughty and sexy. But after wearing that only, I could find  his naughty intention behind. I am sized 34D. Everything from outside looked normal, but there was no button or any clasp to close the slit which begun from centre top of neckline to bottom line between my breasts. It was a designer top and slit was not visible from outside, but if I move fast the jiggling breasts cause to gape open the slit. He asked me to wear my 5inch heels sandals also which will make alerted always about my dress.  If I bend forward, ofcourse my breasts will spill out from top. When I was wearing the sandals he enjoyed the show. But going ouside like that will be risky right?
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hello,
fantasies are not disorder. it is sexual imagination. no one is free from it. but most conceal it.
some fantasies may come true too. i had fantasy of having sex with two women. a girl friend of mine brought a friend of her, another girl, and we had fun. i find that all women are not averse to it, because this gf of mine brought two other girls too.
but some fantasies may be dangerous to try out. it depends on the persons involved.and situations.
dressing sexy may not be advisable in all occasions, it may be ok in very private chosen secure situations only.
answered May 6, 2016 by sumitran9 (1,645 points)

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