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Why do I fear telling my wife of my desire to have anal sex?

asked Apr 30, 2016 in Questions by soft guy (525 points)
edited May 1, 2016 by longhands1

Hi friends,

After birth of our two children, my wife’s vagina got loose, I didn't get much pleasure while having vaginal sex, but I never told this to my wife. Then I decided to try anal sex. I initiated her to have anal sex by playing with her ass, fingering her anal passage, sometimes placed my penis over her anal passage, rubbing my penis over her anal passage, sometimes spit my saliva over her anal passage while we having sex.

She enjoys all these acts. She treats all these acts as foreplay only, but she didn't understand that I am initiating her to have anal sex, and I was also did not directly tell her that I want to have anal sex, as Indian women consider anal sex an offence and dirty.

Every time when we have sex, I try to tell her about anal sex but I am afraid. I don’t know why I have this fear. We are having vaginal and since last 2 months oral sex, similar to all Indians we have sex in men on top position only and we are happy in this relationship. I don’t know how she react if I ask her about anal sex.

Why do I fear about telling her about my wish to have anal sex? As a husband, is it wrong to have a desire to have anal sex with my wife? If I ask her will she think I am mad?

Thank you,
Soft guy.

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2 Answers

1 like 0 dislike
Best answer
Anal sex is considered dirty because the anus is used for defecation. That creates the taboo. Also, anal sex has the potential to be painful, which may add to the taboo for some people. In fact, a number of the men and couples who practice this lifestyle revealed that they find the rarity of it, and the taboo nature behind it, a big part of the thrill.

In a sex survey, it's revealed that 62% Indian male persuade his partners for anal sex, and 33% succeeded in it. Don't be frightened to propose your wife for anal. So many people propose to their partners without any fear. Tell her that if she would feel any pain then you won't proceed further.

Anus doesn't secrets any natural lubrication so apply some vegetable based jelly in her anus and on your penis prior to doing rimming job. It would be better that you first use butt plug on your wife's asshole for a week before trying anal intercourse. Butt plug will made her anus more stretchable so that she can accommodate your full length penis all the way inside her asshole easily without any pain. You can buy butt plug from online store.

Despite persuasion and cajoling, if your wife doesn't agree then never use force and coercion for anal sex because when anal sex are expected, many individuals feel particularly vulnerable and upset. The entire experience can become explosive, and can create rift in your relationship.  I hope she would be agree if you handle it tactfully.

Good luck!!
answered May 1, 2016 by Rukhsana (735 points)
selected May 7, 2016 by soft guy
commented May 7, 2016 by soft guy (525 points)
thank you rukhsana,
1 like 0 dislike
Dear soft guy,
You  feared about to tell your desire to have anal sex at your wife becaure you knew already every thing about anal knew it is dirty, taboo act, give pain your partner and most indians don't do anal sex. So you fear, how she reat by listening this taboo act.
And most indian women follow traditions very well, and they are may from tradition families. May be i think your wife also more tradition. They don't ever try dirty. So you fear to tell at her.
And till now you never taught her to be kinky and did not try any other sex techniques and positions. You did only missionary position to fuck her.if you initially teach her to be kinky , you never feel fear to ask anything that you wnt to try with her.
May be she was not much educated to understand your desire. That may be reason for your fear.
You initiated but she never told about anal sex, may be she don't like it so she didn't talk about it.

As a husband you can use any part of her body only with her acceptance.
If she think you mad, tell her i am not alone. And show askanjali questions and answer related to anal sex and anal play.
Thank you
Your anusha
answered May 1, 2016 by anusha143talvar (1,600 points)
commented May 7, 2016 by soft guy (525 points)
thank you anusha

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