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I need help fixing my marriage

asked Mar 4, 2016 in Questions by Glenmorange (120 points)
edited Mar 5, 2016 by prashant69
I'm male in my late 30s n wife in early 30s we have 2kids, I ve always had fantasies of sharing my wife and would always bring up the subject in bed and she would politely brush it off but her sexual desire would increase,

     she cheated on me and we got through that with ease as she always expresses that she loves me, so that fuelled my fantasy up to a point where I secretly arranged for a stranger to have sex with her and that succeeded and the guy sent me proof, as time went on she found out that I had arranged it and a fight started, Anyway we  are stil together but she continues to see the guy and she sometimes tells me but refuses to divulge  any  details n only says  there was no sex involved  just meeting, so I'm worried this is out of control Yes I know I messed up but I love her want to spend my life with her.  she knows that and she also always says she loves me but refuses to stop seeing this guy! Need advices plz if u have more questions to ask plz do so as I need all the help I can get to fix everything, thanx

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2 Answers

1 like 0 dislike

You should have thought all this earlier as you are father of two kids and they are going to suffer on your account but you made blunder and now she is taking advantages of your wrong step, which is expected.

To be honest you cannot do much here to refrain her meeting that person which you arranged secretly to fulfill your fantasy. Only effective communication can help you to get rid of such problem so have words with her and express your regret and remorse for what you did but at the same time express your frustration that she is taking benefit of your blunder.

Tit for tat is not the solution and make her understand. Just express your regret and do not justify it, as you need to accept it as a fault of yours. However, she is also in fault as she cheated on you and later on she found out that you arranged that guy for her so morally she does not have right to question you. Therefore, she is equally to blame and she needs to understand that she is also in burden.

Communicate with her what she wants from the relationship. Tell her clear and loud that you could not repair the mistake of yours but you do not want it to be continued so ask her to stop meeting that guy.

Be harsh in your approach of the subject and even put the proposal of divorce if she does not want to stop seeing other guy. Let her realize that you are very serious on the subject and do not want to compromise forever as you realized your mistake and want to save your married life but if she is adamant and not listening you then go for divorce as you cannot go on like this. 

answered Mar 5, 2016 by alpesh kapdi (23,335 points)
commented Mar 5, 2016 by Glenmorange (120 points)
Alpesh Kapdi thank you for ur sound response, advice taken!
0 like 0 dislike
At times sexual drive overtakes everything!!, even a mindful mind. Take a vacation and go out of town for some days and find true love between yourselves
answered Mar 8, 2016 by RahulXXX (105 points)

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