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Can i accept my girlfriends proposal for a date with another guy?

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asked Feb 4, 2016 in Questions by Bose vinod (140 points)
edited Feb 4, 2016 by sexysalma
Hire.,
I'm 27 working in retail industry and in a relationship for almost 6 years. My girlfriend is 22, doing her MBBS abroad. She visits india once in a year and stays for almost 2months. During this time we enjoy a lot in sex and we have a healthy sexual relationship. We normally discuss a lot about sex and we share our wild fantasies and we had also done role plays many times.

Our fantasies include almost everything. But lately she is asking for my permission to go for a date with a guy in the country where she studies. Till now she had never lied to me about anything. We are so liberal in our relationship and agreed to give importance to each others desires. Now my question is should I allow my girl friend for a date(sex) with that foreign guy.

Note: she also told me once that I'm not a good player in bed.  My girlfriend is so curious in trying out new things. I'm afraid that she might lie to me if I dont allow her.

I'm bit confused. What should it do... give me a Frank and straight answer guys..



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9 Answers

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very tricky if you allow her she would still keep enjoying her desires & if you wont then she would lie & enjoy she may be even enjoying how do u tap that?? she has also shared the reason with you adding to this its a long distance relation.
Think twice
answered Feb 4, 2016 by manmumbai41 (450 points)
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Unfortunately for you, it's not a question of whether you allow her to have a date with another guy or not, whether sex is involved or otherwise. You don't own her, and therefore you can ask her to remain faithful to you, but you cannot demand it. If you're not happy with that, and the relationship!!!

Much as it might pain you to do so, I think that you have to accept that long-distance relationships don't really work. If you look at the number of married couples who finish up having extramarital sex because one or the other partner spends a long time away from home, what chance do you think you have when you're not even married to her? Expecting her to remain celibate, when she's hundreds or thousands of miles away, beyond your observation, is futile. She could promise you that she will be faithful, but you will have no way of knowing what she is getting up to while she's away. What's more, she has no way of knowing what you are doing either. Her network of female friends may think that they can keep an eye on you, but anyone who wants to be unfaithful can usually find a way of doing so, and will possibly remain undetected for a very long time. Consider this, there are some people who actually have two entirely separate families. I remember reading about a Pan Am airline pilot who flew the trans Pacific routes. He had a wife and children in San Francisco, and another wife and children in Tokyo. Neither wife knew the existence of the other until the man died from a heart attack. Both widows tried to lay claim to the contents of his will, and the truth came out.

I only quoted the above true story to give you an example of how people can live for years, with a completely separate and secret existence. If I were you, I would let her have her freedom to do what she wants, making sure that she realises that what works for her will also work for you. Given that she has suggested that you are not very good in bed, may be you should get a bit more experience under your belt, and should follow her lead by meeting other girls and improving your sexual technique. When (and if) she returns from her studies abroad, if the two of you still care about each other, then you will be able to rebuild the relationship if that's what you both want. And if not, it would be better if you need a review wasted your time trying to hold onto something that wasn't meant to be.

Perhaps this isn't what you wanted to hear, but it is what I would advise.

Salma
answered Feb 4, 2016 by sexysalma (14,995 points)
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Great I really appreciate your open minded attitude, but tell me dear are you ready to share your girlfriend. Telling something and implimentation of yours commitment is very tough task, because when real thing come on platform then may be possible you girlfriend likes his company or may be possible his abilities are more then you. Its real commitment of sucide your love life. Apart from that if you thinking something else and wanted to relieve you love life go ahead and enjoy.
answered Feb 4, 2016 by kingmyaqueen (1,865 points)
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Dear
In my opinion you  should  not allow her and ask her  why she wants to  do it. If you allow her to  have a sex eith that guy and if she enjoys it more  then you may loose her and if you would not allow her then still  she might  go and can  have sex with that guy and would not  tell you.

I can suggest you an  idea, you too tell  her that you want to have a sex with one of your   batchmate,a call girl,a girl from neighborhood  then see her reaction and then reveal the  truth.
Try this. Best of luck..
answered Feb 4, 2016 by Ankit cool (985 points)
edited Feb 4, 2016 by prashant69
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Hello Binod,
           Being in a relationships for almost 6 years, it must be very clear in between you guys about future life post her MBBS studies. As it seems, she will have to study higher to work as medico professional and if it would be abroad again than she will have to remain away for many years afterwards. In medical practice, she may have to remain away from you. So this situation is not going to change in entire of the life.
           As you said that both of you are in physical relationships, though less frequently, It seems less/not possible that she would not be in a physical relationships with other guy(s) there in abroad. You are not there to check her. So whether she ask or not for your permission, she must be enjoying her sexual life irrespective of your reply.This is what i thought practically. She had asked this to you just for knowing your opinion as she is thinking others guys too for relationships (preferably medico colleagues) in future life ahead. She had indirectly tried to hint you saying that you are not a good player in bed (think from where she got this comparisons. I am sure fingers/toys had not educated her though the living beings).
 
So my frank and straight advice to you is.
1) After returning from abroad if she choses to live with you without strings attached from dates, than allow her to date(limited time as long as she is abroad) to the choice of her guy. You must take her consent that she will be only with you afterwards, otherwise free her. You have to risk yourself for losing her if date worked.This is the thing you can do as having no option to get her back.She seems inclined to other guys.
2) If she continue to do higher studies and finally plan to stay there then its quite right time to free her. With passes of time you will forget her and move forward in life.
3) If both of you wishing to explore the fantasy worlds than its an opportunity to find her another guy for MFM.
However you can reject this advice as its extreme end but its another option too.
Choices are many.
answered Feb 4, 2016 by whyiloveher2 (410 points)
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I feel you are lucky that your GF is not cheating you, she could do that also but she told you that means she believes that you wont mind in and will remain with her in every situation. There would be a chance that she would prefer the other guy over you but you cant stop her forcibly, so better let her do whatever she want if she really loves you she will come to you and if you show possessiveness she will surely get obsessed from you.
answered Feb 5, 2016 by Jhonsm (1,200 points)
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What are the practical options do you have? I do not think you have many options than to allow her to explore herself, as she is not within your reach. You are right that if you do not allow her then she might lie to you so better to give her permission to have sex with other guy.

Now bottom question is how much your relationship is serious with her? Are you looking for a marriage with her? Are you able to accept her after having sex with other man in the country where she studies?

You have to think about all the consequences and then you need to take final decision. If I were in your place, I would have left such a girl who does not respect my feelings. She may present many arguments to justify her require but morally she should not have demanded such things for the sake of relationship.

answered Feb 5, 2016 by alpesh kapdi (24,335 points)
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first tell what you do for the remaining 10 months..Do u live a virgin sexless life of a saint? if yes you are not that wise as a  person.
If no, then no need ot ask this question!!!
answered Feb 5, 2016 by manigyanu (175 points)
edited Feb 5, 2016 by prashant69
commented Feb 5, 2016 by prashant69 (7,045 points)

#Manigyanu, Do not use derogatory words while contributing. Please observe the deciplene and maintain decorum . 

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The one relation that cannot be shared is bf-gf (eventually husband-wife). You  might be open-minded in telling her to go ahead. But then jealousy would creep in and also insecurity. It would become a test of whether your relation can survive. My suggestion, talk to her about your feelings and that you are not ok with her going on  a date. Eventually, in sometime, you will get to know her true wishes and you'll know the fate of your relation
answered Feb 6, 2016 by Meenu A R (230 points)

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