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My mom is having an affair with my neighbour. How to stop it?

asked Jan 8, 2016 in Questions by Singhranvijay (120 points)
recategorized Jan 9, 2016 by longhands1
My mom is 48 years old. She is having an affair with my neighbour who is younger then her. His age is 35. He is married but his family is living in the village. My mom is a housewife and my father is working and comes home only at 8 o'clock in the night.

My mom is alone at home. She does houehold work all day. Some months ago one male came to our neighbour's house. He is 35 years old. He is of good nature, so mom starterd talking to him. He is jolly by nature and mom was happy in his company. Everything was going on fine.

Then one day, I came home early but did not see my mom at home and thought she may have gone to our neighbour's house. I found his door was locked from inside. I called. "Mom are you there?" After 2 minutes the door opened and I saw with her hair disselved and open and she was arranging her Saree. Before I could ask her anything, she said you are tired, come I will make food for you.

How to handle her exxtra martial affair with this neighbour guy, who is younger then her? My father does not know any thing.

Please guide me and advise what I should do?

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8 Answers

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Even though you have not seen the affair you assume that there is an illicit affair between your mother and the neighbour. probably you are right, assuming your hunch is right i have to say the following.
All are humanbeings and o one is perfect in this world. as human beings every one has desires. sex is a basic need of human body, also of mind. if the need is not met, life is difficult for all.( you have not mentioned your age, still i hope you can understand that our bodies are biological machines, with it's needs to be met)
A woman in her 40s is highly in need of sex, as i understand, whether it is my wife, sister or mother. and sex is not dirty or it not sin to engage in sex.
probably your mother is notggetting enough sexual satisfaction, her body/biology demands.
So please try to see this situation in a human and also humane angle. she has not acted, against the interest of her family, yet.
it is natural that you are upset, but see that she is also a human being. there are many husbands and wifes in this world who are forced to seek sexual satisfaction outside the marriage, due to circumstances.
At any rate do not tell any one about the matter. if possible, looking at the situation with sympathy she deserves, try to forget the matter. if you look at in a biological perspective, it is not a big thing, i know these things happen in the world, as we all are human beings.
if you want you talk to your mom about it, but not in a way of accusing her of committing a great sin. please do not make her feel guilty, which will make her life miserable. as a mature woman she she will know what to do in future, once you talk to her.
at any rate do not tell your father. mistakes can be corrected, if you show maturity, understanding, and kindness.
once you grow up you will know that these things are pardonable.
let me remind you that no one is perfect and no situation in life is perfect. there are no right or wrong. it all depends on how we look at things. but we tend to attach too much importance to one's sexual activities.
there are many things we do not know about her family/marital life. i answered your question assuming you are a very young man or teenager, unmarried person. had you been a mature person( age wise) you would have kept silence, after assuring that the family life/ peace is not affected.
hope your peace of mind is restored soon.
answered Jan 9, 2016 by sumitran9 (1,645 points)
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maybe they are good friends,
had you saw them doing anything  ?
answered Jan 9, 2016 by nishu (150 points)
commented Jan 9, 2016 by Singhranvijay (120 points)
I had seen many day I was sleeping.I heard lots of noises.I woke up the sounds come from mom room. Mom was moaning and I saw he is in mom room
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maybe those  moans were  not moans they could have been  laughing, talking etc
have  you  seen  them  doing anything specifically ?
answered Jan 12, 2016 by mann9 (125 points)
edited Jan 12, 2016 by prashant69
commented Jan 13, 2016 by Singhranvijay (120 points)
Yes I see day there was a function in our colony everyone was there.after some time I found mom was not there.and he was also not there. I seached her.when I went to parking area I saw the light in car.when I closed to see the car..I saw this was our neighbour car.and mom and he was in car. He was kissing mom.and after that he opens mom saree and sucking her boobs and after that he fucked my mom.after fucking mom and he was joining the function.
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Pfft. Your mother is matured enough to take decisions of her own. Let her enjoy her life. You didn't see her having sex so don't keep on assuming things. Is it a thumb rule that there has to be sex between a man and a woman?
answered Jan 12, 2016 by PTP (525 points)
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For me if your mom really has an affair with your neighbour at such an mature age then there is nothing wrong in that. She has her sexual needs and she could look up ways to achieve them but you should never feel bad or wrong ir something like that about it. If you know then let her make out with your neighbour be neutral or else talk about it to her and help her out in having sex with her secret lover..!
answered Jan 18, 2016 by Aakassh (115 points)
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Ranvijay,You for sure do not know whether they are lovers and having sex or not! 

      And why  you would be stopping them ? By virtue of she being your mother? Remember before being a mother she is a woman first with flesh and blood and desires too . She is fulfilling her unsatisfied desire with this man. Both are adults and even if they are having a consenting sex it should not matter to anyone except your father. And it seems he is not tending or not tending properly to his marital duties . Or even if he would have been she is either physically or emotionally feeling unsatisfied . Exact reason known only to her. 

   So it would be better if you can not facilitte their sexret meetings the least you can do is to turn the blind eye to their affair. This is what i feel would be correct 


answered Jan 18, 2016 by prashant69 (7,210 points)
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First of all, you are not sure if it was an affair or not. They could have been discussing something or playing a game. Your mother deserves some happiness and privacy, Let her enjoy her life.
answered Jul 9, 2016 by MotherOfDragons (105 points)
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Hi singhranvijay,

My friend, I think you should talk with your mother. Before doing that, make sure that what are you suspecting should be true. Make sure you are 100% right. Have an open talk with your mother in private. Tell her that if she does not stop, then you will tell your father. And have a talk with that man and threaten him!!! Affair is like social corruption. It destroys the basic foundation of moral values of husband - wife relation. What type of teachings / message are we providing to the next generations? It can't be promoted.

Now if people thinks that, it is ok to have extra marital affair then I would ask them ...what if she had an affair with her own son? Now the problem starts! In everybody's mind " how can a mother do that! It is immoral ( having affair with neighbour is very moral !) , mother will destroy her son's future ! But mother's affair with neighbor will make son good right?

My friend listen to me if you think [A] having sex other than with spouse is immoral then hold your thoughts and fight for it, if you [B] think that anyone can have sex with anyone ( including incest relations ) like open relation then let her have sex. But do one thing let her know about her affair and ask your mother what type of ideology she believe in [A] or [B].

If your mother tells that she believes in [A] then ask her to stop or take action. If she believes in [B] then change your ideology or leave your mom for good if you don't agree with her ideology.
answered Dec 22, 2017 by Kitkatray (355 points)

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