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What have I done with my Life?

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asked Dec 26, 2015 in Questions by sajithlmn (125 points)
edited Dec 27, 2015 by longhands1

I am married aged 31. Since my teenage I was infatuated with a teacher in a private school who was a relative of my aunt. After my post graduation, I used to visit my uncle's home, where frequently the teacher came for a visit. One day my aunt questioned me about my frequent visits whan the Teacher was visiting. I told her that I liked her and liked spending time with her.

She advised me that she was a married woman and I should concentrate on my studies and other activities. I was disappointed at that time and did not visit for two weeks. Once, I saw the teacher at a super market, and she enquired about my absence. One Saturday, my aunt called me and told me to come over and added that 'your lover is waiting for you' [ with a laugh, like teasing ]. I was excited and and rushed there.

But the Teacher was there to invite me for their 15th wedding anniversary and her promotion party. I was jealous and unhappy and accepted the invitation card from her with a faded smile. After she left, my aunt laughed at me. She then asked me to have lunch and go. I agreed. I was watching TV when my aunt came from kitchen and held my neck and kissed me on my cheeks. From that day we stared a sexual relationship. The Teacher was forgotten

Our juicy-relationship went smoothly for 7 years. In the meantime, I started working and my parents were searching for a girl for me. My aunt pretended she was happy in front of others, but cried, scolded, frighted and even threatened me at each and every step towards the proposals. One day she brought a proposal. My family was happy to hear but I was confused. The girl, was daughter of that Teacher.

My aunt told me that, if I marry a girl outside the family, she would lose me permanently. Well, to cut a long story short, I married the girl. I purposely moved to my job location with my wife to escape from my aunt. She continued blaming me for each and every thing I was doing with my life. The previous relationship was to blame for all this. I was failing in my duties as a husband.

The second tragic part of life was starting there. My in-laws started visiting us frequently. The old time passion for my teacher, who was now my mother in law, regenerated in my mind. One Sunday morning, my wife went along with her father to their family home. My mother in law, gave me a cup of tea and then called me from kitchen to help her to change the gas cylinder. I went there and connected new cylinder. I could not control my self and I kissed her on her neck. She turned to me and asked calmly, what happened to me.

I asked her if I kiss her on the lips. She replied: If you feel it is a must for you, do it.  I kissed her, she closed her eyes without any expression. After that she asked me do you want anything else. I hugged her and asked for a physical relationship. She smiled and pursued me to our bed room. This would be an act of complete fulfillment of my teenage urges. We made love. She told me: I will gave you whatever you want from me, but don't leave my daughter. Her eyes were begging for the security of her kid. All of my pride/self-esteem was broken there. My wife and her father came back by evening and the In-laws went back home after some time.
       

Now, it is 2 months. I have lost everything. Seeing the innocent face of my wife maked me feel guilty. We did not have any physical relationship for past 2 months. Some times mother in law calls me, but we don't have anything talk to each other, maximum one or two sentences here and there, and just hold the phone for long time for nothing.

Whatever satisfied me was not wished, whatever I wished did not satisfy me, and whatever I deserved, I am not able to love. I want to live happily like all other husbands. What should I do?

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2 Answers

1 like 0 dislike
 
Best answer

If you want to live happily as if all husbands do then you have to do things like all husbands use to do. No husbands involve in such a great catastrophe as if you are.

It is not time to count the blames and who does what with whom and why? If you feel that, your wife deserves much better than this then you have to be completely loyal to her right from here.

For that all the contacts should be cut off in one go and do not succumb to anyone’s pressure whether it is from your aunt or old teacher. Just cut off all the contacts and start investing energy in your married life.

You need to put hard attempt in your married life in order to be happy with your wife and if you are willing to do it then you may do it. However, it will take time for you to be comfortable with everything but strong determination and will power may help you in the process.

Stop visiting them by making excuses and allow your wife to go alone to visit them whenever she wants to visit them. Accept that you are married and you have no right to make your wife suffer on your account.

Resume your sex life with your wife but you should not compare her to any of your other sexual partner as it might be possible that she cannot give you pleasure like other did. There is no need to inform your wife about your past deeds just invest your emotion in your wife by forgetting everything.

Remember patience is the key. 

answered Dec 26, 2015 by alpesh kapdi (22,910 points)
selected Dec 29, 2015 by sajithlmn
commented Dec 28, 2015 by sajithlmn (125 points)
Thank you Mr.Kapdi for spending time for me. Yes I'm completely agreeing that the process of reformation is to be happened in mind against to the mind. So I'm planning to go for some recreational places for this new year holidays.
commented Dec 30, 2015 by alpesh kapdi (22,910 points)

Thanx for selecting my answer as a best answer.

0 like 0 dislike
Dear sajith,
First of all forgot your fucking aunt. Stop any type of contact to your aunt and take an oath for future not to contacted with her because she is fully responsible to push your life in the hell. If she do not take that proposal of marriage with your teacher's daughter then your future brighter than this because your parents choose the best girl and family for you. But now it is past and nothing can changed. Now come to your present situation. As you told that your wife is good,pretty and cute so love her. Go outside the city with her. Spend some good time with her. As you told that your teacher (mother in law) also want not to leave her daughter. So If you really want to live as a good husband then slowly slowly stop to contact your mother in law also. If she try to contact you then request her not to contacted you if she also wants a good married life for her daughter. If any other emergency is there that she contacts you then allow your wife also in between. Spend time with your wife and concentrate on your work. Personally I suggested to think about a baby. If baby comes in your life then your mind automatically stop thinking past and other persons except your wife,baby and you. For future take an oath not to make extra relation with your mother in law and other like that. Best of luck for future.
answered Dec 27, 2015 by manav922899 (455 points)
commented Dec 28, 2015 by sajithlmn (125 points)
Dear Manav, Thanking you for your precious time with me. The day she (aunt) were kissing me by holding head, I pulled her to my lap. Every where the mistakes were started from me. My father was not financially sound. She/Uncle were only helped out our family in many situations financially or by other way. They only take care of my higher education and some expenses for completion of our house. That's why the parents had trust on the proposal through them. Everything is away now.  I don't know what I will do with the in-laws. My wife is the only daughter for them, and they (especially father in law)  have good faith on me for staying his retirement life with us, and having plan to sell their family property and buy a home some where near here such that we can stay with them instead of spending rental here every month. Saying 'No' to this plan making my wife is getting much irritated, but I'm making it at least lagged.

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