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Why has my mom's dressing changed suddenly?

asked Dec 10, 2015 in Questions by surya1979 (125 points)

I am from Chennai. My age is 35 years. I got divorce from my wife one year back with mutual consent. My mom's age is now 54 years. My father expired two years back. My house is a single bed room house. After getting my divorce I used to sleep alone in my bed room and my mom used to sleep in the Hall itself.

During last summer, my mom asked me to to sleep in the same bed since the bed room only has an AC. Since I never had any bad intensions towards my mom, five months passed just like that. But since the last three months my mom used to hug me very tightly while sleeping. Some time I also hug her while sleeping unintentionally.

My mom always wears saree at home and even while sleeping. While taking bath she normally used to change her clothes inside the bathroom itself and come out. But since last one month, after taking bath she comes out with underskirt and changes her dress in the bed room in front of me most of the time. My wife left all her dresses purchased by me in my home.

Two weeks back my mom took my wife's nighty and wore it for the first time. I asked my mom what happened to you, why suddenly wearing nighty. She told that she feels more comfortable when she wears nighty at home. I didn't give much attention and left it. Three days back when I come back from office, I got surprise to see my mom wearing my wife's churridar. That was the first time I saw my mom in chudidar. As soon as I entered the home, my mom asked me how I am looking in this dress and am I looking young?

Now I am in total confusion that why my mom behaviour is changing suddenly like this and how should I react for this. Please help me in this matter.
commented Nov 15, 2017 by longhands1 (78,070 points)
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4 Answers

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Best answer
Most relationships can be improved by being honest with each other, and talking about things that affect you. If you are uncomfortable with the way your mother is behaving, or if you don't like her wearing your ex wife's clothes, you must tell us so.

Personally, I can't see what the problem is with the clothes. It seems stupid for them to sit there waiting for the silk moths to eat the material, as you haven't tried to sell them or give them to charity. So why not let one where any of the clothes that fit her. If they remind you of your ex-wife, then you should have got rid of them one way or the other. As for her asking you whether she looks younger wearing your ex wife's clothes, what woman doesn't want to be paid a compliment? What woman doesn't want to be told that she is looking younger than her actual age?

As for her changing in your presence, she is your mum, and she may not see anything wrong in doing such things. It doesn't necessarily mean that she is trying to tempt you sexually. She may just not see anything wrong in what she's doing.

On the other hand, she is widowed, and she is probably lonely. At 54, she is not so old that she has forgotten what sex feels like, and perhaps she desperately needs some sexual enjoyment in her life. Much as we try to pretend otherwise, incest is a common enough occurrence, wherever in the world you may be. It is one of those taboos subjects that no one wants to discuss, and it occurs amongst all classes, all religions, and all races. If your mother does have sexual interest in you, and you don't want this, you must gently but firmly her no. But 1st, sit down and talk to her honestly, as there may be a perfectly reasonable explanation for her behaviour.

answered Dec 11, 2015 by sexysalma (14,995 points)
selected Dec 11, 2015 by surya1979
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Your narration instigates me to say that your mom is trying to hit you and wants intimacy. You made mistake by allowing your mom to sleep in same bed. You might have asked her to sleep on the bed and you may sleep on floor in same room since there is only AC in bedroom but sleeping on same bed serves only bad intentions knowing or unknowingly on your part. Now she is giving you nonstop hints that she wants to come close to you and by hugging during night, you are also giving your approval, which you should have not done.

However, now if you want to have become personal with her then go on like this otherwise ask her to mend her ways as it is making you uncomfortable. You may sleep in the hall and give her bedroom where AC is there if she requires AC. Therefore, you need to decide what you want to do. My simple advice morally and ethically it is wrong to have intimate relationship with mom.
answered Dec 11, 2015 by alpesh kapdi (23,230 points)
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You need to sit down with your mom and talk about boundaries. You need to talk to her about your personal space (your room) . Anything that makes you uncomfortable is a valid concern. Have you told your mom how uncomfortable it makes you feel?  .so be honest and talk to her about it , She is obviously going through some issues, but it doesn't seem anything too crazy .SHE'S COMFORTABLE AROUND YOU because you are HER SON, HER BLOOD. You have a long way to go in your life and don't entertain thoughts that you might endlessly regret in future.
answered Dec 11, 2015 by srajesh (1,135 points)
commented Dec 11, 2015 by surya1979 (125 points)
Dear All,
Thanks for your answers. Now I am clear that I should not bother about my mom dressing. In fact I feel happy that my mom is wearing different kind of dresses. Until my mom do not having any sexual intention towards me, I have no problem with her behavior.
0 like 0 dislike
Dear just wash your mind,she is 54 years old and you are 35. Just think. Ignore it what she doing and all that. Just talk to her if you are not comfortable in all these things and tell her that mom if you are comfortable in these things then wear it alone not in front of  me. If you are comfortable then ignore it.
Don't ever think wrong about your 54 yo mother.She has given birth to you. At least till she approaches you fully. I am sure if she have something in her mind then after your ignorance she will also wash these things off  by herself.
Take care of your mother and son relationship more than everything.
answered Dec 11, 2015 by avi.t (115 points)
edited Dec 11, 2015 by prashant69
commented Dec 11, 2015 by prashant69 (7,010 points)

avi.t, Note that do NOT use any other language while responding to the question. It is not that we do not understand or do not respect other languages! We have very high regard  for other languages too! Still do not mix the languages.

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