I am 22 years old and my mother is 44-45 years of average size. All this started many years ago. At that time, I might have been around 12-14 years. I accidentally touched my mother's hips and I got a little bit aroused but I stopped myself at that time only. In between these years, some sexual thoughts come but still I had kept them aside (I never ever fantasized about her).
Some moths ago, I had a dream in which I saw a few people on the street and my parents were walking nude. She was fat, but after walking, she got into actual shape. This week, I dreamt that my mom is having physical relation with one old guy, in front of me and my father.
I cant control anything. I am feeling that if this came true, it would be fun if this happened secretly but not in front of me and family. I keep telling myself that this is not normal and it is wrong. I am feeling guilty about this. I cant talk about this to anyone.
Is it okay to have these weird thoughts and fantasy? Do I have some mental problem? If this really happens, will I be able to accept it? Is it ok to make this happen and how?
My mother has never had any type of relation / or flirted with anyone except my father. She is very simple and orthodox.
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