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How to help my friend trust his girlfriend?

asked Oct 30, 2015 in Questions by aps ans (470 points)
edited Oct 31, 2015 by longhands1

I am male, 22, unmarried.

I have a best friend. His age is 23. He was in a relationship with a girl for last 5 years. They both will marry also and love each other. He was looking depressed for last 1-2 months, so I asked him about his depression and he told me about the problem with his girl friend.

There is a married man who is the colleague of her girlfriend. That married man was trying to flirt with her but she did not give weightage initially, but later she get convinced that the person is not serious and she began to talk to that person. My friend told me that they talk about that man's wife. That man indirectly said to her that he will kiss her and had such type of talks.

But the girl told all this to her boyfriend (my friend). She says that she was not serious and says that she does not want to talk to that person but unable to stop such flirting with him. Now, she has stopped doing any kind of talks with that person and also feels very sorry for her mistake.

Now, coming to my friend's condition. He is very depressed and told her a very simple thing that she is not a child who can be fooled by anyone. He says he is very honest to her, then why she do this to him? His question is also that what is the guarantee that she will not to do any such act in future?

I also know that he is dead honest with her. His honesty can be estimated with this thing that her girl friend told him that she is not comfortable in pre-marital sex, so for her sake he decided not to do anything till marriage. Now, he says that he will not able to forgot this mistake of her for unknown number of years.

I am not able to help him very clearly. I need your suggestions. They love each other. But how to cope with this mistake of his girlfriend as I am not able to advise him.


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3 Answers

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Best answer
It seems that your friend has a suspicious nature and let me tell you it would prove very disaster especially to those who are in relationship. His girlfriend told him that she is not going to talk to that person again and even she did not feel comfortable with him then your friend should trust her. What is the guarantee that it would not happen again in the future then again let me tell you that no one can predict future hence he has to take decision based on present scenario.

If he does not able to overlook the incident then it would be better for him to go for break up than to suffer silently all the way through life. I do not think that she done blunder which requires too much concerns since she did it by mistake and now feels sorry so she deserve forgiveness. One needs to understand that every relationship has its up and downs but that does not mean that one needs to run away from the relationship. However, you being outsider cannot interfere much into this but ask him to take some time to come to the terms with the situation.
answered Oct 31, 2015 by alpesh kapdi (23,220 points)
selected Jan 5, 2016 by aps ans
1 like 0 dislike
Dear Aps Ans,

This is great news if I am reading this correctly,.  She the girlfriend has told her future husband this story which means she can be trusted and moreover is highly faithful.  See the deceitful woman would tell lies or not even tell of the story.  But because she is comfortable in the relationship and feels there is trust, and that is why she is telling your friend the whole story.  Not to hurt or wound the guy.  He is naive in believing the opposite.  Women think and work different to males.

If they were me I would be taking her out to dinner or sending her a dozen red roses to her office so the married man can see and to add to the flirting mix.  This is not a depressing story at all and your friend needs to grow up otherwise he could loose the girl because he is the untrustworthy one.

He is harbouring negative feelings and this can destroy the relationship.  She can be trusted and respected - just because she continues to flirt with the guy is she is teasing him and making him jealous.  This is the man that needs to be worried not your friend.

Your friend is childish and needs to see the positive side of the story and act like a man.  Otherwise he is going to have a very unhappy marriage.  Please let him read this reply.
answered Oct 30, 2015 by Idontknow. (800 points)
0 like 0 dislike
Don't worry aps ans, both your best friend and her lover are very good guys... Maybe your friend is so worried about her girlfriend's act, but surely this problem will be over because they seem to be true lovers. Time has the solution to ease your friend's pain, as the time goes on he will get more maturity and do not consider it as a problem. After many years, he may even say this event as a funny thing we did in our young age. Convey my wishes to your friend that he got a very trustful woman...
answered Oct 31, 2015 by Seenivasan (200 points)

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