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My brother is getting too close to me. How to handle him?

asked Oct 21, 2015 in Questions by divya35 (140 points)
We both are twins and our age is 20 years. My brother and I both stay in the same room. Whenever no one is around, he touches me a lot and even tries to flirt with me. Whenever we both are not together he stays constantly in contact by sending romantic and adult text in funny ways.

What should i do? I feel he has sexual feelings towards me and usually tries to see me when I am getting ready and dressing up. Should I talk with him about this or tell my mother?
commented Oct 23, 2015 by divya35 (140 points)
Thank you all for your support.We all know what he needs but i think i should talk with him in private when no one is home.Lets see what happens

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6 Answers

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Best answer
'Just sit and talk'
there's no better option available than this. if he text you adult msgs it means you're open to have discussion on this topic. just sit and talk and try to clear all the matter creating problems. and help him to get a girlfriend so that he can get busy at her not on you.
answered Oct 21, 2015 by Noni (1,360 points)
selected Oct 23, 2015 by divya35
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First, throw him indirect indications that you do not like his behavior towards you and want him to mend this. Whenever he tries to flirt with you give him odd respond and demonstrate your annoyance in very clear mode. He will understand that you do not like all this and after all this if he does not stop his indecent behavior towards you then better to tell him directly what you feel and ask him to stop it. If he does not stop even after your clear warning then you are left with no option than to report to your mother and ask her to intervene. However, he may try to blackmail you emotionally and even try to justify his acts but you should not succumb to his tactics.
answered Oct 21, 2015 by alpesh kapdi (23,220 points)
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Since you have written to us, it means that the issue is rather serious to you. How long has this been going on? I hate to say this but somewhere you have given him an indication that it is okay for him to touch you and see you when you are undressing.

Obviously now, you have realized that the situation can go out of hand and lead to sex. It is advisable to have a talk with him. Since you are twins, he will understand you better. Be firm and tell him in no uncertain terms that you do not appreciate his advances and adult sexual messages he sends you. Tell him that you will show the messages to your mother. This will serve as a warning to him. Since you will have proof to show your mother, he will not be able to deny your complaint.

Do not delay talking to him and pointing out what you dislike. As a woman you have every right to protect your modesty. Do it now.

I have not understood what you mean by “flirting” with you? Brothers are affectionate towards their sisters and do pull their hair etc. But you should be able to distinguish between a sexual touch and a non sexual one. Touching your breasts or bottom falls in the sexual category. As far as possible avoid being alone with him. Do you sleep in separate beds? That should help.

Your modesty lies in your hands and it is for you to protect it.    

answered Oct 21, 2015 by longhands1 (78,025 points)
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He might be kiddish or does not understand the seriousness of brother-sister relation. Try to make him realize him the boundaries of this relationship. Ask your mom to give you a separate room so that he should know you need privacy means you both can't be too frank or cross the limit. This is the result of being ultra modern, otherwise in India we guys from the beginning are taught by family members to stay away from female members, feminine issuses and respect and protect them. You ask your mother to counsel your brother and make him learn to respect the females and their dignity. It's not too late for him.
answered Oct 21, 2015 by Jhonsm (1,200 points)
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Since you are not interested at all   , then just sit with him , speak about your problem, first tell him that you are not interested in such issues, threat him that you will not talk to him if he again do the same thing , also clearly tell him that if he has not stopped then you will inform it to your brother, but let him give one chance  to rectify his mistake,
answered Oct 21, 2015 by Nehapune (340 points)
commented Oct 21, 2015 by Nehapune (340 points)
You will inform your mother ( not brother)
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Hello Divya,

Before even considering the idea of talking to your mum, talk to your brother. Sit hdown and have a friendly but firm conversation with him, and tell him that his behaviour is both unwanted and makes you feel uncomfortable.

What would have been harmless when you were children is inappropriate now that you are adults. While it's not unusual for some siblings to feel sexual attraction for each other, with some of them taking the feelings to the level of a physical relationship, you do not want this, and you need him to realise that his behaviour will not be reciprocated.

Only if he persists in his behaviour should you speak to your mum; though it may be useful to have the threat hanging over his head without needing to resort to making good. Just the idea that you will expose his activities is likely to stop his unwanted attention.

Do not let yourself be pressured into anything, aand make sure that he cannot fault your own behaviour to coerce you. The things we do in life should be from our own choice and free will, and no one has a right to make you do something you find repellant, so please stand up for yourself. Do what you want!!!

Best wishes,




answered Oct 22, 2015 by sexysalma (14,995 points)

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