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How does one deal with sexual frustrations at times?

asked Oct 24, 2014 in Questions by shelly (355 points)
edited Oct 24, 2014 by longhands1

I am facing such a dilemma now a days, and asking myself often a question that is there anything like "SEXUAL WEAKNESS"?

Now a days I am feeling guilty about myself. More often than not I am feeling so wet down there whenever someone stares or comments about me. At the same time I feel so annoyed too. I feel so strange about it. Many times I have masturbated myself too.

Hoe does one deal with sexual frustrations at these rimes? Is it common with others or is there something wrong with me?


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6 Answers

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​ The first thing I want to say is this: There is nothing wrong with you!!! Getting wet between your legs is a perfectly natural and normal response to sexual arousal.

I think that your feeling of annoyance is due to frustration with your situation. I'm assuming that your sex life is restricted to self pleasuring, rather than with a partner, and as a normal healthy woman, you really need a relationship that can provide you with a satisfactory outlet for your sexual urges; or failing that, masturbation is your best solution

What to do about this situation? Assuming you are not having a satisfying sex life, I can only suggest that you masturbate as frequently as you like. You don't need to ration your orgasms, we aren't given a limit to the number of orgasms we will have in our lifetime, so go ahead and find ways to enjoy the pleasures of your own body as frequently as you want. Literally, use your imagination!!! You can safely fantasise about whatever sexual scenario excites oh the most. There's nothing bad about this, as it's all in your head; the dreams and images your brain can create to excite you can be whatever you need to bring ultimate pleasure for yourself.

If you are in a sexual relationship, I suggest you need to get your partner to do more to satisfy you. Perhaps your sex life has got stale and not very exciting? If this is the case, you need to decide whether the relationship can be reinvigorated, or needs to be ended. You are entitled to enjoy sex, and if a partner isn't fulfilling your needs, things have to change!!!

 Let me reiterate: there's nothing wrong with you, so please don't worry. All of us have those same feelings, sometimes at the wrong moments, which can feel embarrassing, frustrating, and annoying. I still masturbate frequently, even though my sex life is extremely satisfying; I just don't see why I should deny myself pleasure when I feel like it, and my partners aren't around at he time. So, when you feel like it, as the Nike advert says..... "Just do it!!!"

​ Love


answered Oct 24, 2014 by sexysalma (14,995 points)
selected Oct 31, 2014 by shelly
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I think it's not sexual weakness it's  desire to have sex. If the fluid is odorless then nothing wrong with it. Every vagina produces the fluid & it means it's ready for sex. Definitely masturbation is a way to satisfy ur sexual urges. So I think nothing wrong with masturbation.
U shud talk to ur partner about ur situation. It's obvious that u r not satisfied with ur sexual life. Spending more time with ur partner maybe helpful in getting more intimate.Sometime We expect too much from our partner that we end up being unhappy.Masturbation is pleasurable but  good sex is what makes life enjoyable.

answered Oct 24, 2014 by Diwash (775 points)
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Dear Shelly,

You should remember that all of us exist in a society for a "give and take" process, where our existence helps someone else's existence and at times others' existence benefit ours. This applies even with our very close members of the family and intimate friend circle such as parents, siblings, spouse, partners and even children. I believe the best way to come out of this frustration is to understand that you really have to take your existence seriously, your happiness, your pleasure, your comfort needs to be taken care of seriously. After all, when you take care others and their needs, don't you think that you really deserve the best.
When you talk about sexual life, in that "give and take" process it becomes the duty of your husband/ partner to help you get that comfort, pleasure, happiness. If he does not or is not able to help you get that for reasons unknown, I think you taking care of yourself becomes your supreme duty. In this case, what is happening to you and as Salma said, is perfectly natural. Infact it's such a beautiful thing, from your earlier post I gather that you are a married woman in your 30s and you have a kid, I think even after so many years of marriage and adulthood, if a look or a compliment makes you go wet down there, it just means in terms of existence you are thriving. Be happy, be glad.
Who wouldn't agree on this forum that many of us have day dreamed having sex with various people other than our girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife. And here I just don't mean "pounding" sex but proper love making in your dreams. That doesn't amount to cheating. It's just that you are sexually active. Shelly, what you have is a sign of this activeness. I see a beautiful woman at times and after my day dreaming, many a times I realise that I have gone all wet on the tip of my penis.
You should really be enjoying the compliments, the admiring looks you get from other men. Find a secluded place, enjoy the dreams and masturbate. Then, go ahead have a happy time with your family. And as Salma said, try talking to your sex partner, if you both can mutually benefit that will be a greater good. Even if not, you are awesome otherwise.
Enjoy and don't worry.

answered Oct 24, 2014 by Aditya_01 (145 points)
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Why should you be ashamed or embarrassed about your sexuality? It is a gift that many do not have and every man craves for. Do not look for comparisons with others. Treat yourself as a unique person. Expressing your sexuality and your desire for sex, in no way makes you a lesser person. Think of women who don’t like sex and are being diagnosed as dysfunctional.

Somewhere in your psyche, you feel that you do not live up to the physical ideal and so imagine your genitalia as undesirable. Give in to your baser instincts and enjoy sex for sex itself. Herein seems where your problem lies. While you want to enjoy your sensuality, your partner is unable to keep the tempo. Remember as long as you are not hurting anyone, it is fine to satisfy your hunger for sex through masturbation.  We often have unrealistic expectations about relationships. But, it is natural for sexual intensity to decline over the duration of a relationship, as we age, due to life pressures and when we have children.

Having said this, it is also possible for lust to increase as responsibilities in the home decrease. You have hinted in your question about your fear of being a nymphomaniac. Freud's famous question, "What do women want?" is still debatable. Plenty of women want partners who will protect, provide, and perform, but also want partners who are flexible, unintimidated, and playful in the bedroom, in the kitchen, and in public life.

Partners have different libido levels and it is quite possible that your partner’s does not match yours. But this is not cause for frustration. Since obviously you do not want to get into an illicit relationship, you can masturbate without guilt to your satisfaction and orgasm. There are varied toys available and many of them can even beat the real “thing” when it comes to timing and duration of an orgasm. 

answered Oct 29, 2014 by longhands1 (76,960 points)
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First of all, let's be clear sex is not bad. Its not only physical. Lust is an instinct. What you are going through is called hot flushes. It is your body screaming for sexual union. If you are not in position to satiate your desire for sex by a union with a male, masturbation is the best option out. You may indulge in self-gratification as much times as you enjoy it. No need to feel guilty or dirty. Wanting sex should not be termed weakness.
answered Oct 30, 2014 by gigs4r (1,435 points)
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dear shelly
there is absolutely nothing wrong with you
look at it as this way youhave a stomach so u get hungry u also have genitals so you get wet there is no shame in it
your best solution would be to masturbate you can use your fingers or there are many sex toys available you can use those this solution is the best till you are able to have sex with your partner no dildo or a toy is comparable to a real life penis, when you start having a active sex life or start masturbating frequently u will be satisfied and will stop feeling horny all the time
answered Oct 30, 2014 by mauliksab (355 points)

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