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How should I handle my Sister in law's proposal?

asked Oct 3, 2014 in Questions by Vishal.onlyyours (225 points)
edited Oct 3, 2014 by longhands1


This is Vishal, a fashion and personal photographer, 32 years old from Mumbai and very much married.

Sometime back I had a threesome with my wife and her sister who is soon going to get married. The whole plan was set by my wife, on her sister's request. My wife's sister's fiancé (who coincidently is my friend too) was okay with the idea as well (I understand this through my wife.)

Now the confusion and the problem is, I thought this might be a one-off occasion when I had threesome. But it seems my wife, her sister and her sister's fiancé wish this to be permanent affatr and  propose to live together as one "Happy Family", sharing each other.

My Sister-in-law is going to get married next month and they are planning to shift to our place and live with us.

What does your experience says about such situation? It seems all four of us are positive about the proposition. What complications can be expected? and How to make it more fun-filled without worrying to much?

Kindly revert to this as soon as possible.


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3 Answers

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Best answer

​ The first thing you will need to consider is jealousy. When you see another guy fucking your wife, how will you feel if she enjoys it more with him than she does with you? How will she feel seeing you with her sister? How will you guys feel if the girls enjoy lesbian sex more than  sex with either of you? I'm not saying that any of these things are inevitable, but they are potential threats. 

Group sex is, I can assure you, extremely exciting for those with a very free spirit and open mind. Such activities really broaden the horizons of what people can do together. As long as you all agree to set any rules, and stick to them, the boundaries are as wide as you all wish. You do need to all agree, and don't attempt to coerce one into something they don't accept, as a group situation has to be, first and foremost, about trust and respect.

You must all have a full sexual health check, and do not leave pregnancy to chance; proper birth control is essential, unless neither woman cares who gives her a child!!! It should go without saying that NONE of those involved should have sex with anyone outside the group unless fully protected. None of you want an unknown person adding sexual health risks from unprotected sex.

Group sex partners may well decide to add new members to their circle, but remember, the larger the number involved, the less chance the group has of remaining unnoticed by General society, and therefore run the very real risk of public  censure and hostility. In this case, we are talking about sisters involved together, and the spectre of incest may be raised as a public outrage by those who take a moral issue with such things.

Personally, I've enjoyed group activities for years, and I see no reason to advise you against you own scene, with the provisos I mentioned at the outset. Jealousy can be the killer in any relationship, but if you can genuinely learn to share each other, there's really no limit to the pleasures you can all enjoy. Just keep healthy!!!

​Good luck




answered Oct 3, 2014 by sexysalma (14,995 points)
selected Oct 21, 2014 by Vishal.onlyyours
commented Oct 4, 2014 by Vishal.onlyyours (225 points)
Thanks Salma..., :)

What I loved most in your reply, is that reply was too the point and most informative. Yes We've considered some of the points mentioned like jealousy... I've had threesome with my wife and her sister and there was no such Problem, In fact all three of us have enjoyed like never before. And the same made me think in positive way to entire prospect. And we've also just discussed on aspects of not forcing and maintaining mutual trust and respect should be paramount.

Thank you So much for making us feel double good about the entire situation. Feeling Excited like never before.

Vishal :)
commented Oct 21, 2014 by Vishal.onlyyours (225 points)
Just quick update :)

As I feel obliged to update on how this answer was helpful, will also help understand others :)

We had couple of steamy sessions is last two weeks... Started with group session with respective partners and ended up swapping... Thank godness, So far all four of us are very happy with the experience. No Jealousy as of now... :) Also decided as you suggested Salma, We're going to be close knit group of four... and will not be adding male partners as of now :)

Thanks again for your valuable Reply... Helped me a lot :D
1 like 0 dislike
I cannot agree more with Salma,

Girls weak point if you can say the weakest, has to be jealousy. If you can manage that, consider half the battle is won.

Now As you mentioned, you've already managed threesome with both the girls, (You didn't mentioned how good was the experience for you and both the girls in bit detail, which could have helped to know the comfort level), You best know if you're able to satisfy both of them.

And overall, if Threesome had gone good, as you mentioned briefly, I'm sure foursome will be exciting as well.

Would be happy to hear from you on your experience once you cross that stage :)

Hope I'm making sense :)

Luv & Regards,
answered Oct 4, 2014 by Chaitali (150 points)
0 like 0 dislike


Your idea of a foursome within the Family is not so, outlandish as it seems. There are many cases in Joint Families where a woman is shared by the brothers especially in rural areas. Often, due to accommodation constraints in cities, where a labourer shares his tenements with 10 other men, it is not possible to keep his wife with him and so he sends her to his native place to live with his brothers etc.


I want to analyse the reasons for your decision, before I comment on the positives or drawbacks of the idea.


First, it is surprising that the suggestion came from your wife. 99% of the times it would be the man who makes the first play. Did your wife know her Sister’s fiancé, before the proposal? Were they ever in contact before?


You talk about having a smooth and enjoyable threesome. A Foursome is a different kettle of fish. It is not the same as having a threesome. Your wife has told you that her sister’s fiancé was aware of the threesome. You have not spoken to the fiancé in this regard. It would be very awkward to talk about this topic later on. You need to have a conversation with him and gauge his views. I have a sneaking feeling that he has had sex with your wife and since you have had sex with his girlfriend, the implication is that all are fine with the idea.


Who initiated the idea that they will stay with you and your wife? Do you not have any say in the matter? Staying together will be a major irritant in the future. How do you decide each family’s contribution to the expenses? Any displeasure in discussing finances will be reflected in the sexual equation. It would be a better idea if they stayed separately and then visited whenever sex plans are made.


Another issue is pregnancy. Do you rush to get a DNA Test done to decide on the paternity? A DNA Test is complicated and is not easily done. If a DNA test is not done there will always be a sneaking doubt about whose child it is. If a DNA test is done, it will destroy your relationship, which has to be built on trust. After the child is born, property and hereditary issues will crop up. Are you prepared for these?


Jealousy is a factor that will come into play only when experienced. Will you all make love together or will you move into different rooms after exchanging your partners? It is not so easy to watch your spouse being made love to by another person. As you have rightly said, once may be an exception, but doing this all your life, is never going to be easy. And what you experienced is only a threesome.


What happens if your wife falls in love with her sister’s fiancé or you fall in love with your sister-in-law. I know you will say it cannot happen. My friend, Love is a fickle thing. I ask you what happens if and when it does?


There are positives too. There is a great bonding and wish to sacrifice for your extended Family. Sex will be mind blowing. But if all this were true, history and Society would have encouraged such relationships. They don’t. There must be a reason.


Think wisely in what you do. Best of Luck.        

answered Oct 4, 2014 by longhands1 (78,260 points)
commented Oct 4, 2014 by Vishal.onlyyours (225 points)
Thanks Longhand1 for your reply.

Just to help you understand the background, Me and my wife are childhood friends. And we're friends first and spouse later. Secondly, My profession is fashion photography which includes personal photography (Nude/semi-nude artistic photography). My wife just got to know about one of my last project where I shot a would be bride (My client), which she wanted to present to her husband.

Now My wife's Sister (Actually she's second cousin and not real sister, hence we're two seperate couples and not family as such) was proposed to get married, hence My wife talked to her sister if she would like to get herself shot? She liked the whole idea and agreed for a photoshoot, which eventually turned into threesome with my wife and her cousin.

Thirdly, my sister in law is getting married to my close friend so all four of us in a way know each other very well.

About the jealousy part, My feeling is Jealousy comes when you do not treat your spouse a friend first. How can I feel jealous if my sweet friend is enjoying best as she can? Fortunately we've this friendly relationship even after our marriage.

About the finance part, By gods grace, thats never a problem as Me and my friend (I mean both men) are well to do financially. He too owns villa in Mumbai, little away from my house.

Thirdly, On the outset, we're committed to be fully protected while all our encounters, and thats beyond any doubt. Healthwise, we've to get ourself regularly checked So do My clients before any project.

Yes, you're right since this is not seen common, but its not so uncommon as well.. I know these through my clients :)

And in any case, Thanks and I appreciate all concerns / Issues you've shown, which I feel are most genuine and will definitely help me and your other readers!